Page 49 of Little Miss Fortune

‘He...’ She is looking for more words to defend him. ‘I...’

She blinks as tears shoot out. I get a tissue from my bag.

‘It’s just— I don’t know. I think I am just imagining it.’

‘You are not.’

‘I am not allowed to be upset or have fun. Everything I do is wrong. I just don’t have any tangible reason. It’s just all in my head or in my heart. Nothing bad happened.’

‘You mean he doesn’t hit you?’ I ask.

She shakes her head.

‘That’s actually not the only way he could be horrible. He called you a dirty slut, in public, over something that you haven’t even done yet.’

Spitting the words back at her was a slap to her face, I know it. Her eyes round in horror, realising that I heard everything. Hearing it from my lips has brought some understanding of the gravity of this situation.

‘I’ve broken up with my partners for less.’ I let her know.

I walk with her back to the Tube in complete silence. She waves goodbye, and I hope that she will leave that pile of crap as soon as she gets off the train. People are so worried about being single that they forgive a lot of unforgivable stuff.

I look at the time. Hanako should be arriving soon. As I turn, familiar long pin-straight black pigtails bounce in the distance. I walk towards her but freeze in my step when I see my sister leaning for a kiss, as someone’s arms wrap around her shoulders. Girl’s arms.

Hanako is seeing someone. I am a bad sister that did not notice. She is also gay, and I am a worse sister because I didn’t notice that either.

CHAPTER 17

Fuko had forgotten the first lesson, that she is to be powerful, beautiful, but so full of regret

On the day of the event, Fawzia, Toby, and I are taking the Tube. I don’t know how luck addition works. If Toby has small luck as I suspect he does, and I have small misfortune as I know I do, do we cancel each other out? Is Fawzia’s luck the determining factor in the outcome of today’s event? I wish we had more time together to get to know each other better, Fawzia and I. I know too much of Toby, I fear.

The events team promised everything would be done by the time we arrive, but Fawzia’s erratic foot-tapping tells me that she is not so sure. She is not biting her nails yet, but her hand keeps moving closer and closer to her face.

My period is ending, the cramps now at bay. I look at Toby and feel only slight annoyance from him dumping my best friend. Not lingering or limerence, or whatever kids call it nowadays. Just two coworkers coworking.

We tap out at the gates and head to Judgement. It feels strange being paid overtime to go to a club. As we arrive, a delivery van stops outside.

‘I have a parcel for Fuck-oh Brewer.’

Ah, that old gem. I used to be called that a lot when I was in secondary. My face contorts into a dissatisfied grimace before I’m able to compose myself.

Two snickers erupt behind me. Fawzia is more polite about it, at least she is waving her hands around in silence as she walks away. Toby looks as if he is going to be sick from holding his laughter in—completely red in the face, eyes shut as if he is trying to find zen within himself. Some breathing technique is employed to calm himself down.

‘Thanks, that’s me.’ I sign his thick phone-looking thing with a rough signature. I wonder what is more secure: a hanko stamp from Japan, or a squiggly signature from the UK.

Boxes arrive, and Toby helps to get them up, snorting out a giggle every couple of steps.

‘Stop it,’ I hush him.

‘Sorry, it was not the mispronunciation that was funny, it was the face you made.’

‘Yeah, like that makes it any better.’

Ugh. How could I ever have thought that even one ounce of me fancied him? We open the boxes and pull out some old candlesticks to display around. The owner gives us a quick tour and explains fire doors.

‘This one is the staff door. You need a code to get in or out. I am just going to leave a box to prop it open for now as you decorate.’

He gives a code to Fawzia, who makes everyone take a picture of it on their phones. Just as she suspected, the events team haven’t done anything of use. They claim it’s due to bureaucracy—they had too many forms to fill.