Page 116 of Little Miss Fortune

I roll my eyes at him in disbelief. My stomach churns at what he’s about to tell me, but I play along. ‘Disgusting. Continue.’

‘Yes, sorry. Back at yours I just looked at your family, and how together you all were... and I got so worried.’

‘About what? My Dad?’ Was Hannah actually right?

‘No, about not being... This is so silly... Uh, how do I put it... light enough.’

‘I don’t discriminate against sizes.’ Shut up, Fuko. Not the time. He’s opening up to me.

‘That’s not what I mean. I feel like a burden most of the time. And sometimes I wonder... if that thought won, how would it end for me? And it felt unfair to you, that I might never be better but still desperate for you to be around me. I genuinely felt that the unbelievable ache of being without you is what I truly deserve.’

He says all of this without dropping his smile for a second. As if he has to hide some of his emotions so that I don’t get scared by his real ones.

‘You know’—I compile my thoughts—‘that’s how I feel a lot of the time: burden, trouble, misfortune. Why would anyone want to get to know me if I’m not 100 percent funny or perfect? But you were the one who taught me to just go for it, to be me and then see what happens. I want to be that person for you.’

His hand slides behind my neck, into my hair, and pulls me in for a kiss that brings all of my senses alive yet dulls them completely. I do not remember that we are in the park, what day it is, or that I just won in a local film festival. None of those things matter as much as his lips on mine.

‘I love you too.’ He pulls away. ‘Came here to say that, actually.’

‘Can’t believe you didn’t respond to my text.’

‘Ah, you see. I’m going to tell you something else right now. Please do not panic.’

‘What did you do?’

‘Ha, well. Uh, you see. I have a very small, itsy-bitsy, stage-one Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Aha, I see your concern. Let me finish. So, when you texted that you loved me, I booked chemo that I had been avoiding for just a little bit. Doesn’t matter how long I’d been avoiding it for. Will start next month, doctors confirmed a good prognosis. And as you said—I am quite lucky, so I’m sure there is nothing to worry about. You don’t look surprised. Who blabbed? Chloe or Fawzia?’

‘Both.’

‘Both? The hell, man. Can a man not have secrets anymore?’

‘Are you looking for a bottom smacking right now? Because you can get it.’

‘Deserved. Not the best situation to ask that question, but how about this one instead?’ He kneels on one knee and laughs when I pick him back up. ‘Fuko Brewer, would you do me the honour of being my date to the chemo sessions as my exclusive and supportive girlfriend?’

My cheeks try hard not to squeeze out a big smile. ‘Oh, um, I think you really misread this situation. Girlfriend? That’s a tad... out of nowhere, no?’ He made me wait for weeks, it’s only fair I make him sweat a little.

‘I see how it is. Please also forgive me for not telling you about my lymphoma sooner, breaking up with you for no reason, and making bad jokes about your ex’s penis? Wow, now that I’ve said it out loud, that’s pretty bad.’ He moves a little closer.

‘Uh-huh.’

‘I would struggle to forgive me.’ His head tilts as his hands find mine.

‘You’re telling me.’

‘But please say yes.’ His breath caresses my ear. ‘I’m really sorry about what I put you through. But I don’t think I can do it without you next to me. Please.’

This looks like a beautiful shot. A young couple by the river, families walking through the parks with their dogs, and the wind gently rustling the changing leaves.

My fingers touch his burning cheeks, and my heart skips a beat. Toby’s really here. He will stay.

With a handsome face like this, how can I refuse?

‘Yes, I will go to chemo with you as your girlfriend. We are booking you, and maybe me, some therapy sessions. The rest I’ll have to think about.’

‘I can work with that. We will have so much time to think about the rest.’ He swoops me up for a kiss.

The softness of his lips sends shivers down my spine. My grip is tight, as I refuse to let go.