Page 9 of The Vampire’s Prey

The phone rings as I pull out of the parking lot and head onto the highway.

“Status report, Butterfly.”

My heart stops for a moment. What is Simon doing with Father’s phone? I glance over at the screen, double checking the number. Nope. It’s Father’s number all right. Bile rises up in my throat as his voice crackles from the phone.

“I’m waiting, Butterfly.”

Ugh. That stupid codename. Why the hell does he insist on calling me that? Every time he says it, my stomach plummets and twists all at once. Gritting my teeth, I force past my discomfort.

“3 operative spotted.”

“Detection?”

“Undetected.”

“Present course?”

“Continue as directed until which time as I may fulfill the mission.”

“10-4. Father will want continued updates as permitted. Keep your mind, heart, and body pure, and you will succeed. Fail, and it will be because of your lack of faith. Do not be swayed by false compliments. They care only for your blood and not your soul. You have nothing to offer them other than your life blood. Do not believe their lies when they talk of your beauty. They only mean to draw you away from our Lord and the mission.”

“Yes, Raptor,” I force myself not to choke on his moniker. “I will not be compromised.”

“Good girl. Get some sleep and cleanse your mind and body before facing them again. Just being in their presence is enough to get their sin and filth on you.”

“Understood, Raptor.”

Tears slip down my cheeks as I make my way to the studio apartment that is my home for the foreseeable future. I almost believed that horrid vampire. Anger and guilt war within me as I remember the handsome man that almost turned my head. But Simon is right. All I am to him is a meal. That’s all I’ll ever be.

I make my way up to my door and pause to look out at the twinkling lights of Tucson. A deep ache fills me as I watch the lights of the cars zooming around, the life that is evident even in the darkness. One night, I will allow myself a night of weakness. Then it’s back to the grind.

Silence greets me as I go into my apartment. The pitifully furnished studio has enough to let me exist but not quite enough to make it a warm home. Sure, there’s a bed, dressers, even an older model tv. No art hangs on the walls, no cheerful pillows dot the room. It’s cold and sterile. I’m not paying for it though, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain. But it still makes me long for something to call mine. Something to add some life into the place.

I go through my checklist: door is locked, windows are locked, garlic is secure on the valences, kit is by the bed. Satisfied that I’m safe for now, I make my way over to the pitiful bathroom to take out my contacts and run the shower. The noise is deafening, drowning out my thoughts as I ease one contact out and then the other into their special container.

Grabbing some eye drops, I blink rapidly as the relieving liquid washes over my eyes. I groan and rub lightly, trying to not completely irritate my eyes. Looking up at the mirror, I take in my face, my body, then the bloodshot, mouse-brown eyes. Part of me wishes I could see what Adrian sees in me. Surely, it’s not just a meal. Right? There’s got to be something redeemable about me.

Sighing, I slip my hand into the shower, making sure the water is just below scalding: just the way I like it. Easing in, a gasp tears from the throat as the hot water assaults my skin, sending painful sensations through my body. I relish the pain. Live for it. It’s this pain that lets me know that I am still alive and can still feel. Pain breaks through the numbness. Even if just for a few moments, I feel alive. Tipping my head back, I let the water cascade over my scalp and slide down my body.

I stand there, the water pelting down, allowing my tears to mingle with the flowing water. My mind recalls Green and her man and how he looked down at her with such love and devotion. It seems so real. It’s not, but it is a nice dream. How many times have I wished for someone to look at me like that?

There’s no way that fanger actually cares for her. But it is nice to pretend. My mind shifts back to Adrian. His smile, his eyes. What harm would it be to pretend for tonight and repent tomorrow?

His face fills my vision as I run my fingertips down my skin. I’m already wet as I slide my hand over my mound and tease my outer lips. Here, I can be free. No one will judge. As for God, I’ll make my penance in the morning. Tonight, it’s all about me and Adrian. Maybe if I work him out of my body and out of my mind, I can be free of him and go back to my mission.

My thoughts feel hollow, but it’s what allows me to indulge in these secret moments. My body arches up as my finger breaches my opening. Arousal eases my passage, and I slide right in, my finger skimming up and down my core. I clench. Hard. I want more. So much more. It’s a pale comparison to what I’ve felt with another man, but there is so much less shame in this. Much less guilt. My dirty little secret.

A moan builds up in my throat, but I hold it at bay. Silence is key. My breathing quickens as my finger slides in and out. I add another one, the stretch so delicious I bite my lower lip to keep silent. Almost there. I lean against the tile. Cold against my back and hot against my front. Not enough. Never enough. I curl my fingers up inside me, strumming that spot that always gets me there. The noises my body makes as I pound my fingers deep inside are obscene. So wet, so close.

I gnaw at my bottom lip, the tiny sparks of pain heightening my arousal. I know what I need to orgasm. It’s the one thing that will always get me there. I suck in a deep breath before using my free hand to pinch my nipple. Hard. The pain almost makes me cry out. But I don’t. I can’t. Silence is key. I squeeze again, just as my core clamps down on my fingers. My body likes the pain. Craves it. Needs it. Perverse as it is, it’s what allows me to finally let go.

The sounds of the shower drown out my ragged breathing. It’s the perfect cover for such a licentious action. Evil or not, I will come. I need this release like I need to breathe. The steam chokes me as I gasp, my core tightening even more. Almost there. My eyes close, so I can concentrate. Unbidden, Adrian’s face comes into view. I can’t help my moans now. They flow out of me, soft and breathless, hidden by the shower.

It’s like he’s there with me. His fingers replace mine. His voice growls in my ear demanding my release. Owning my body. His hands grip me so roughly, so possessively. Mine. He growls in my mind. I look into his eyes as he looks down at me. There’s such an odd mixture of expressions on his face. But out of all of them, love comes shining through.

It’s at that moment I come. So much harder than I ever have before when pleasuring myself. It leaves me breathless. I pause for a moment to catch my breath before sliding down the back wall of the shower and into the tub. Sobs rack my body as I wrap my arms around my knees. Oh, what I would give if all of this could be true.

I turn my head to the side and rest it on my knees. A good cry. That’s all I need. Just one really good cry, and I’ll be good as new. My anger, shame, and guilt pour out of me as I sit there, rocking back and forth. As my tears slow, I feel the normal emptiness and numbness creep into my body. Everything is going to be okay. I’ll complete my mission, make Father proud, and establish myself as part of The Family. There’s no need to have the love of a monster when I can have the safety and camaraderie of The Family.