Page 60 of In Service to the Duke

Unfortunately, he seems just as duped as I was. When I return to Miss Gillet’s room, my mother is still there, wringing her hands as she paces. Seeing her this worked up drives a shaft of fear deep into my heart.

Since she refuses to read the only evidence in play, I try something else. “What age were you given when this woman was brought to you?”

“Twenty.”

“Exactly. Same as the butler who hired her. According to the letters, she is only eighteen. Still within an age to be a governess, but a lie all the same. And how did she come about to be in our service?”

“Well her mother-”

“Exactly so. Her mother planted her here. Even if you refuse to read these letters, even if Miss Gillet somehow grew a conscience and refused to trap me after the fact, it doesn’t mean her presence in our house wasn’t based on lies. Blazes,” I curse, not at all caring that it’s in front of my mother. “And based on the second letter… She could be devising how to go after Portswell next. All of this could be a ploy to disappear and not her heat, as you surmise.”

I ignore the pang in my heart at the idea of her wanting another man. As my friend, it is my duty to protect him from her nefarious machinations. But would that entail me marrying her instead and not even allowing her the chance to sink her claws into him?

Truthfully, the very idea of chaining her to my side so I can keep an iron grip around her does sound appealing. Since she so favors my brand of love, I could exact punishment from her body if I so chose.

However, there is a matter of the greatest betrayal of all. Her heat, if this is indeed what’s happening. However, I have never known my mother to get something this important so incorrect.

Shaking my head, I pace about, unable to make sense of that aspect. The butler delivers her pills daily. The only way for her to be in heat is if she doesn’t take them.

But even I know that’s not a possibility. He inspects her mouth, making sure she swallows it. He was my last line of defense against something like this, and yet, he failed. Everything failed.

“How is she in heat?”

My mother looks up at me, a thoughtful frown marring her face. “She is an omega. I suppose the suppressants are to blame?”

“Unless she managed to somehow swap out her active pills with something not as potent?”

She scoffs. “Do you really think her capable of all that? I refuse to believe her to be that conniving.”

“And yet, she lied to gain entrance into our home. Despite what the letters say, I know of at least one lie she’s caught in. Her age might seem like some paltry thing, but there is a vast difference between a woman going into spinsterhood and one just on the cusp of putting balls behind her.”

“I cannot speak for her actions, Robert. But you must find her and tend to her.”

Crossing my arms, I pin my mother with a glare. Something else is behind all of this. In my gut, I know it.

“Out with it, Mother. What use is there of going after her? I have no earthly clue where she ran off to. No doubt back into the woods, where she can make some clandestine deal to receive impotent suppressants.”

“She is your duty!” My mother cries out, gripping the front of my shirt.

Though she still has the pallor of being ill about her like a shroud, her grip is powerful, denoting just how strongly she feels about this. Why does she care so damned much about this girl?

“She stopped being my duty the moment she lied to me,” I roar, tempering my tone so as to not drive her to her knees.

“But if someone else finds her… What is done is done. It cannot be helped. All we can do now is pick up the pieces and find some semblance of order in this chaos. Please, Robert. Even if you despise her, you cannot allow her to come to harm. You cannot allow your staff to fall victim to a rut not of their own making.”

Unfortunately, she has a point. Hell and damnation, but she has a point. Prying her hands off of my shirt, I pace about, my mind trying to formulate a plan. Unfortunately, I find it hard to think when each inhale is laced with Miss Gillet’s maddening scent. At least this helps explain why I’m reacting to her so strongly.

Her heat must be calling out the rut in me. It’s what’s making my actions so volatile, so erratic. Just like with Delilah. How in all of Hades did I not see this coming? How did I not recognize the signs when I’ve been here before? Perhaps it’s because my body wants to join with Miss Gillet, wants to be entrapped and under her spell.

With a heavy sigh, I wipe my hand down my face. There’s nothing else I can do. I cannot fight this. It’s not like with Delilah, where I didn’t want her. I crave Miss Gillet still. Even with the lies between us and the betrayal making me want to rage and rant, it’s still Miss Gillet I want. It will always be her.

“This is what we will do. Send word to the nearby parish, have them start the process of reading the banns. I will find and collect Miss Gillet and assist her through her heat. We will be wed, but only for the sake of this household and for you.”

It’s a damned lie. I’m marrying her for me and no one else. But at least I can fool my heart into thinking my actions are manganous. Even if it’s only for a little while. I lean over and kiss my mother’s forehead, my heart clenching at the cool, clammy feel of her skin.

“You seem to have taken a ferocious liking to the girl. Even at the expense of my honor.” I murmur, needing to show my mother how her actions affect me.

However, we both know I still would have come to this conclusion, regardless. When she opens her mouth to retort, I quiet her with a soothing shush. For the sake of my sanity, I will do this.