Page 68 of A Tale of Two Dukes

Heat infuses my body, almost suffocating me. Groaning, I turn my head, seeking more, needing more. Everything flits through my mind like a bad dream with no end in sight.

Perhaps this is all it is. A dream. However, my head pounds, sending shards of pain through my skull, the only thing assuring me I’m conscious. Muddle-headed, I turn, but find I cannot move. Wordless, soundless screams fly through my mind, and yet, no one hears me.

Where is William? Why isn’t he waking me from this like last time? Oh, how I need his firm, commanding tones as he runs his hands over me, assuring both of us I am well. My body craves his purr, the soothing vibrations I know will put me back at ease.

With a sigh, I force myself to relax. Any minute now, his tongue will lash at that sensitive part between my thighs. His pleasure will wake me. I’m sure of it. And so, like his good girl, I lie still, patient, caught between heaven and hell as I await his bidding. But it never happens.

Helpless, I remain motionless, burning, as if the fires of perdition lap at my skin. After a moment more, I try to move, but it’s all for naught. My pinky, the smallest muscle there is, even refuses to obey my commands.

Sounds flood my ears, warped, distorted. It’s as if demons whisper around me, clawing at me, intent on dragging me further down into this inferno. But none remind me of my Alpha.

Prying my eyes open doesn’t help either. Blackness surrounds me, envelopes me. When William is by my side, the darkness is a comforting friend. But not now.

Now, it’s a living hell, a torment I cannot seem to wake myself from. Is that why I cannot even sense him through the bond? Does it not work in sleep? I thought surely I was awake, but none of this makes sense if I am.

Oh, how I wish I could stir, to move something, anything. Sensations wash over my skin, but without the ability to see, they mean nothing. Not only am I rendered unable to move, I seem to be stuck by forces outside of my mind.

My shoulders ache, throb, and burn. The only other time I felt that was in William’s ropes. Perhaps that’s what’s happening now. Could it be that I’m bound at William’s command?

If that were the case, I’d feel safe, coddled almost. This is something altogether different. Tendrils of unease continue to weave around me, tethering me even as they threaten to rip me apart.

These waking nightmares are the only thing I have to hold on to as a point of reference. They’re the only thing I know. As terrifying as it is, there is a familiarity about it, a kinship from terrors long past.

If I can just breathe, calm myself until my mind is rational, then surely I’ll awaken. No doubt, I’ll be in William’s bed, snuggled up to his side. It would account for the unyielding heat.

Again, I reach out through the bond, but find nothing there. I know it’s all new to me, but shouldn’t I be able to do something? Reach him somehow? Is it because I’m trapped in this nightmare?

So many questions and not nearly enough answers. I continue trying to wiggle my fingers, desperate for some relief from this sea of nothing. The more I strain, however, the less I seem to accomplish.

“She’s waking up.” The words filter through my mind, the sound as if I’m hearing it from underwater.

I do my best to process; however, by the time the words make any sense in my mind, hands grab me, turning me this way and that. Something metallic brushes against my lips as fingers claw at my mouth, forcing it open.

It’s not as if I have the ability to fight back. The nameless hands need not be so rough. Soon, liquid fills my mouth as those same fingers pinch my nose.

My throat convulses, forcing the bitter liquid down into my stomach. I cannot even bring myself to cough. It’s not until I’m turned over and a hand pounds on my back that I can even expel the part of the drink that doesn’t make it into my gut.

Heat licks up my body as I’m maneuvered about, still unable to see or even comprehend what’s really happening. All I know is I’m in the arms of someone, and I have the sinking suspicion that it’s not William.

I long to sob, to cry out, or even to fight, but my limbs are useless. Even tied up, I should be able to rock back and forth, dislodging my body from whoever holds me captive. But even that proves impossible.

While I swim in and out of consciousness, I do my best to take in any information I can. My brain tells me this is important even if I don’t understand why. Nothing makes sense, but it’s at least something I can occupy myself with.

Dragging air into my lungs, I take in the various scents. Nothing stands out, meaning I’m certainly not in William’s arms. That knowledge should terrify me, and yet, I find I’m unable to bring myself to care.

With each passing second, my reasoning slips until nothing seems to matter. Again, I force myself to focus on the one scent that stands out. It’s wet, mildewy, and familiar. I should know this person. Everything in me screams that I know the one that holds me.

But it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Even if I do know my captor, my brain refuses to process anything. My thoughts are slow, sluggish, like the one time I fell through the ice as a child.

In that same way, numbness pervades my system, locking down all sensations until I’m simply adrift. The only comfort is the warmth that surrounds me as opposed to the freezing cold that made my teeth chatter. It was a cold that took days to go away.

Even now, those memories fade, pulling themselves out of reach. I continue to sink, my entire being pulled down into an abyss. I drift beneath the waves, drowning while still breathing air. My chest burns with each inhale, and yet, I am, in fact, breathing.

I have to be. It’s the only way I’m still alive. I am alive… Right?

Without the tactile sensations of my body giving me feedback, it’s nearly impossible to tell. It could explain why the bond isn’t working. There’s no way to communicate when you hover between life and death.

The only thing that gives me pause is the very real sensation of movement. But then, everything around me stops. I’m suspended in the air, dangling.