Page 14 of The Duke’s Christmas Rejection

Her eyes glimmer a moment before she extends her hand to help me up. “Though I’m not sure what the oaf did to upset you, you needn’t worry about him any longer. He’s not here.”

My heart freezes in my chest, stuttering for a moment. “He’s not?”

“Unfortunately, he was called away to Langwell Grove and had to leave this very minute. He won’t be here to suffer the tongue lashing I was preparing for treating a treasured guest this way.”

Tears burning my eyes, I reach out and grip her hand. “Do not be wroth on my account. All is well. I’m just tired from all the celebration. Perhaps if I retire to my bedchambers early, I’ll be in better spirits tomorrow.”

“If you’re certain…”

“I am.” Leaning forward, I kiss her cheek and slip out of the room, my nerves zinging with each step.

He said I couldn’t give him what he needed, but when did he ever give me the chance? More than that, he never once told me what I needed to do to give him that. It’s not fair. None of this is fair.

Slipping into my room, I call my lady’s maid over, requesting a hot bath. If anything will calm my nerves and help me think, it’s that. I watch as bucket after bucket is poured in, contemplating my choices.

What should I do? If I say nothing, then both of us are free to pursue others; however, all I have to do is confide in Pen, and she’ll make sure Norhaven marches me down the aisle. As tempting as that is, though, I don’t want a marriage like that. I don’t want to force his hand, giving him cause to hate me.

Once the other maids exit the room, leaving just my lady’s maid, I slip into the steamy water and sigh. “I do not require your assistance with my bath. Please leave me alone for a bit.”

With a soft curtsy, she too leaves the room, and I am once more alone with my thoughts. Closing my eyes, I conjure up the image of the maid, her legs splayed as she touched herself. Perhaps this is what the duke was referring to, that I cannot see to his needs the way she can.

Drifting my hand down, I skim my fingers over my nipples, sighing as they tighten under my touch. Did they always do that? Or is this a new sensation, unlocked by the illicit scenes that played out in the library?

From there, I go lower, down to the area that I only touch to clean. Never once did it make me cry out the way the maid did. Is there some secret to discover? Some hidden part? Or is it that I am not equipped with the same anatomy as a beta, and thus am unable to reach the same heights as she?

My blood flows thick and hot through my veins, my heart pounding so loudly that it thumps in my ears. The maid used two fingers, if I recall correctly, positioning them at the top of her sex, the apex between her thighs. Squeezing my eyes shut, I graze my lower lips, shocked by just how sensitive they feel.

And that’s when my fingers brush it. I haven’t a name for the bundle of nerves that nearly leap at my touch, but pleasure courses through my body, sending jolts of lightning through me. This! This is what the maid must have been feeling. Providence, but it feels divine.

Easing a bit lower, I trail my fingers through the water, unsure of the odd liquid that coats my fingers. It’s thicker, yet slick, something I haven’t experienced before, yet it’s coming out of me, as if it’s part of me somehow. It’s all too curious, and I wish now, more than ever, that I could find Norhaven and beg him to tell me more, tell me why I feel these things… why my body burns at the mere thought of him.

The thought of him, standing before me, wicked tawse in his hand as he strokes himself sends tingles of anticipation through me. I shouldn’t want to think about the pain he can deliver, and yet, it’s all I’m fixated on. Perhaps it’s because, deep down, I know I’m doing something naughty and want to atone for it.

One thing I know for certain—Norhaven will give me pain, and I will accept it, possibly even like it. I just need to convince him that I can do this for him, that I can be the vessel in which he pours out his ire. I will endure all that or more.

Groaning, I tilt my head back, letting it rest against the warm copper as I roughen my touch, gasping as the pleasure nearly doubles. My fingers feel numb as my heart begins to race. I stroke myself faster, biting back a louder moan as my hips surge up of their own accord.

With my free hand, I drape it over my head, gripping the edge of the tub as my body undulates through the water, sending small waves splashing over the sides. But I can’t care about that now, not when I’m so close to some unknown destination.

The sensations build, clenching my insides as I barrel forward. Biting down on my lower lips, my nails scrabble over the metal as that small nub begins to swell and throb. This is wrong. This is so very, very wrong. I know this. Deep inside, I know I shouldn’t be. But it’s that wrongness that makes it feel so very right.

Once more, Norhaven flashes through my mind, his gruff voice growling in my ear, urging me to continue, to find out what happens at the end. It’s an almost audible sound, the rasp of his breath against my cheek, the heat of his fingers against my skin.

When the pinnacle hits, my world stops for a moment. I’m unable to think, unable to breathe. Pure feeling flows through me, bowing my body up. The moans I’ve been holding back release on a scream, sending the lady’s maid flying into the room. Thankfully, I have enough wits about me to remove my hand, hiding the evidence of any wrongdoing.

“A spider!” I manage to scream, rocking back in the tub as if afraid. “I- I think it went out the door.”

With a swift nod, she ducks out of the room, leaving me to catch my breath. With trembling fingers, I rest my hand over my heart, feeling the pounding as I lay there. The duke is convinced that I cannot give him what he needs, but if it’s this, I will practice every day, torturing my body with unspeakable pleasure until I’m finally good enough to win his heart.

Because make no mistake, I am irrevocably tied to the Duke of Norhaven, and nothing will stop me from pursuing him as my husband. Though he may have ruined me for all men, he is the perfect match for me, the one Alpha that can take me to heights I’ve never even dreamed of before. And I do so love a challenge.

Chapter 10

Charles

The wind is bitter cold as I take Erebus, my black stallion, back into the stable. For all this ruse, there is no way I can make it anywhere in this tempest. It’s far too treacherous with the ice and snow. Damnation. All I want is to be free of this maddening vixen, and yet, even the weather is set to hold me back.

Glancing up at the dark, billowy heavens, I squint my eyes, wondering if it’s even worth incurring the wrath of God to curse him in this moment. It must be all his doing. When I first set out, it was bearable—frigid, but manageable. However, the further I drove my steed, the worse it became, as if everything was conspiring against me.