Page 10 of Prelude to a Revolution

But I have to move. I can’t just stay like this inside her. Taking a deep breath, I pull out as slow as I can and rock back in. Perhaps its hormones from the pregnancy that’s making this harder. Her muscles ripple around me, gripping me as I try to move without damaging her. It’s far more difficult this time. The harder I try to stay calm and not let the frenzy take over me, the harder it is to ignore the tightness of her body as it shudders around mine.

Forcing the breath out of my lungs, I inch back in, nearly crying out as Sonria grips my arms, her face screwing up in a tight grimace. I can’t do this. I can’t force this on her. It’s wrong. It’s all wrong.

Easing up on my forearms, I try to pull out, but Sonria wraps her legs around my waist, forcing me to stay. I bury my face in her neck, gripping her body as I rock deep inside of her. She won’t let me leave the soft, hot confines of her body, and I don’t want to.

I want nothing more than to live in her, burrowed deep inside. No rules, no society, no higher powers forcing us into hiding.

Free.

That’s what loving her means.

It’s freedom.

It’s life.

It’s love.

It’s my everything wrapped up in one adorable body that is Sonria. I would kill for her, die for her, walk the ends of the earth just to make her happy. Just for this moment. Tonight. Her carrying my child. Her body wrapped around mine as she forces pleasure from me with every stroke. Taking everything I give her and never complaining.

Gods, but I can’t ever dream of a life where she’s not in it. Slamming home, I clutch her body, wrapping her up in my arms as my purr intensifies. Blood surges up my shaft as my knot expands into her. Her fingers scrabble at my shoulder as she tries to move, tries to get away from the intense pressure I know is filling her body.

“Shhh, love. Breathe with me. Steady. In. That’s my good girl. Out. Please love. Please breathe with me. It will be over soon. That’s my good girl.”

It has to be the added hormones. She’s never been this tight, this sensitive. Murderous oaths flow through my brain as I soothe her, running my fingers over her body as she quakes in my arms. I shouldn’t have forced her into this. I should have come down her throat.

As much as I try to be a better Alpha, I still can’t deny the tingles of pleasure as they ripple down my spine, sending shards of ecstasy bursting over my skin. The grip of her pussy around my knot shouldn’t be this tantalizing, but it is. As much as I know it’s causing her pain, it’s flooding my body with endorphins, making me high, and I detest it.

There’s got to be a better way.

Forcing my breathing to slow so she can match it, I lay there with her, keeping my weight off of her slim body as cum shoots deep inside, coating us both in life-giving fluid. Her eyes flutter closed as sleep finally overtakes her. I hold her close, my purr never faltering.

With us locked like we are, all I can do is think. My brain whirls as I stare down at my mate. A boy. She’s bringing yet another life into this world. I’ll have to procure a bigger house. We’re only big enough for us four. Number five would be just too much.

Could we afford it? My lips slide into a firm line. I have no choice. We will afford it. And we will still gather the supplements needed for Karis and Annora. That will never change. Wrinkles gather on Sonria’s forehead, and for a moment, I wonder if she can pick up on my thoughts.

But she can’t. I know she can’t. Leaning down, I lap at the mark on her shoulder, nuzzling her to bring some additional comfort to her. If I could banish her nightmares, I would. But since we have no bond, I can’t control what happens in her mind.

After what feels like an eternity, my knot abates, allowing me to pull out from between her thighs. Cum, arousal, and blood spill out from her, and again my gut churns as I watch the carnage of our love-making stain the sheets. It’s not enough blood to worry me, but it is enough to cause some concern. She only bled like that for the first few months of mating. Once her body got used to me and the machine, she never bled.

What could this mean? Shaking my head, I reach down and pick up the device from the floor and stare at it as it pulses rhythmically and expands. It pulls back in and starts the sequence all over until it’s spread wide, not quite as girthy as my cock, but close enough. It’s the only reason she doesn’t tear each time I slide into her.

This isn’t fair to her. I forced her into my life. I begged her to be mine, even though I know it’s a tough life for a beta. Most unions don’t last that long. The fact that we’ve made it almost twelve years is a miracle. Soft hands slide up my back and I smile.

“I feel you thinking, love. Please. Don’t shut me out. You do this every time, and it wounds me. I’m offering my body to you. Please don’t dismiss it and blame yourself.”

I turn and reach out to cup her face, sighing as she nuzzles into me. We both make sacrifices. I crave her so much. If I had my way about it, I’d be fucking her at least twice a day. Instead, I hold off, allowing her to set the pace. We make love about once a week, but that’s still one time too many when it hurts her like it does.

If only I were a smarter man. If I had any sort of aptitude for science, maybe I could find a way to make Alpha and beta relationships work. But no. I’m just a man that’s good at making war. I can compel people to obey. That’s it. There’s nothing great about me. I can’t even make love to my mate without her body rebelling.

Leaning down, I skim my lips over hers before pulling her to her feet. Sonria tries to hide the wince of pain as it flashes across her face, but I see it. I always see it. Pain and tension hang between us as I lead her into the bathroom so I can wash away the proof of our difficult union.

Neither of us says a word as the hot water beats down upon us. With soft, reverent touches, I take the soap and suds up her body, taking care to wash every inch of her. Any time she tries to open her mouth, I shake my head. She doesn’t have to say it. I know that face. I know that expression.

I swear to Elex if she asks me to go to the brothels again, I’ll turn her around in this shower and spank that idea right out of her head. As it is, I’m weary. I’m just so tired. I want us to get clean so I can hold her close while we both sleep.

Turning off the water, I towel her down and set her on the closed toilet as I strip the bedding off and replace it. Some may think it’s women’s or beta’s work, but the blood that glares up at me is my fault. I’m the one in charge. I could have resisted her, but I chose to engage. Giving her somewhere unsoiled to sleep is the least I can do.

Once everything is clean and settled, I drag her out of the bathroom and put her to bed, holding her close to me. I purr as I run my fingers through her hair, forcing any tension out of her body.