Page 60 of Dark Goodbye

Reaching over, I brush away the tears. “What, not a little pain slut? The perfect match to my sadism?”

“Well, that too, but it doesn’t seem appropriate-.” Not letting her finish, I pull her close to me, slanting my lips over hers.

My soul sings as the bond vibrates her happiness. There’s still just that hint of unease lurking about in her mind, but hopefully, it will dissipate once I have her writhing underneath me.

“With us, nothing is inappropriate, especially the things I do to you. Now let’s get into the house so we can discuss your actions properly.”

Again, that whiff of fear fills the transport, making my stomach clench, but this time, I let it roll over me, filling me up. She needs to be held accountable for what she did, and I plan to punish her in the most delicious ways… but she doesn’t have to know that yet. Best to let this be part of the punishment.

Stepping out of the transport, I walk to her side and open the door, grasping her extended hands before hauling her against me. Her soft, pillowy breasts press into my chest, dragging a groan from my lips. Even one day apart was far too long.

Unable to help myself, I wrap my arms around her, pouring out every ounce of affection I have. Now that she’s back in my grasp, I cannot let her go again. Things will have to change, that’s for sure. Unfortunately, I can no longer keep her chained up like some animal.

Now that the threat against her life is past and now that I know she won’t just run away again, keeping her locked away is just inhumane. I trust her now, and with that comes a change in how we interact. However, I will have to do something to keep my sanity in check. Knowing how precious she is, how easily I can lose her… I force my brain away from that line of thinking. It will only cause insanity.

Scooping her into my arms, I take her inside, ignoring the smirk on Galansce’s face and the overly-sweet, dewy-eyed looks from Mogen. I pause in front of him and grin back. “I would like the special. Raw.”

His eyes widen for a moment before he looks between Ladria and me. With another smirk of his own, he nods and heads for the kitchen. “What is the special?” I question out loud.

“Never you mind. It’s just a dish I’m having him whip up, especially for you.”

Ladria’s face splits in two as the widest smile I’ve ever seen lights up her face. Oh, if only she knew…

“Is it dulcisonem?” Her body wiggles in the most adorable manner as she asks about the sweet, marshmallowy, frozen treat.

“I never knew you liked that.” With a soft, indulgent smile, I file that away for future reference. If my mate craves dulcisonem, then that’s exactly what she’s going to get.

The room is clean and tidy with no evidence of either her sneaking out or the tray that fell to the floor. Relief sizzles through my veins as I lay Ladria on the bed. Right now, I don’t need any more reminders of what I almost lost.

“Talk to me, my love. I need to know what drove you to leave me. Most importantly, what made you think that death was the only way out? Surely you must know just how devastated I would be without you in my life.”

She lowers her eyes and pulls her bottom lip into her mouth. “I don’t know if I can. It’s all so jumbled in my head. Even now, I look back on my actions and wonder who inhabited my brain.”

“Before we go any further, I need to know. Do you plan on harming yourself that way again? Is this something I need to find a mind healer for?” My heart jumps in my throat as I ask the question, needing the answer, but not wanting to hear it.

“No!” She cries out, shaking her head so hard that the bed wiggles a little. “It’s not like that. I-I felt there was no way out. No escape. It was the only way I could be free.”

“But free from what? Free from this room, Stanlion…me?” Pain lances through my chest as she remains silent far longer than I want her to. “It’s me then. I’m the horrible thing you had to kill yourself to get away from.” Bitterness laces my tone, and I’m unable to stop it.

Ladria pulls back as if I physically struck her. “Please. Don’t say it like that. That’s not it. Yes, you’re part of what I needed to leave, but it wasn't you personally. I would have fled any Alpha that captured me. And I wasn’t trying to kill myself,” she argues, her eyes shining in earnest. “I was cornered and wasn’t thinking rationally. My brain lied to me, convincing me it was the only way out. It was the only choice I saw available.”

My gut twists at her words. Never should she feel like snuffing out her existence is the only option. “Though I’m grateful that you’re not making it personal, it still hurts that you even thought of coming to that conclusion.”

“The Guardian Alphas had me cornered. My only thought was that I couldn’t go back to that prison. I just couldn’t.”

“My love,” I say with as much conviction as I can muster. “I would have found you. Somehow, someway, I would have saved you. I will always save you.”

When she reaches out to me through the bond, her loving touch soothes my rankled feathers. But it’s not enough. I need her to understand, to see just what her actions did to me.

Wrapping my hands around her arms, I lock eyes with her, not allowing her to turn away. Through the bond, I pour out all the emotions that filled me up, spilling them into her until tears stream down her face.

It’s not my intention to hurt her. Far from it. But she needs to understand just how much she means to me, how much the idea of losing her tore at my soul, the very fiber of my being.

After a moment or two, I pull back, unable to take the grief and guilt that floods her system. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” she sniffles, turning away from my questing gaze.

With a gentle push of my fingers, I bring her face back to where she can look at me. “I love you, Ladria. Even before you marked me, you were the other half of my soul. Even when you still presented as a beta. The moment I realized you were an omega, I knew it was my duty to protect you. Then, as you started to get older, I knew you were far more precious to me than just your dynamic.”