Page 57 of Dark Goodbye

CHAPTER 26

Ladria

My head throbs as I rock back and forth on the hard floor. The look on his face, the longing, gods… the stark need. It flies in the face of everything I knew, everything I thought. It’s not just about lust. What I felt off of him had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with keeping me close to him.

Before, I erected the barrier to protect myself, but now, I keep it up to protect him. I don’t care about myself anymore, not in light of everything that’s transpired. In my own, deluded way, I’m hoping to give him the mental space he needs to come out of this safely. I don’t want to be the reason he’s executed.

If anything, this can be my last gift to him.

How did I mess everything up so badly? Heavy footsteps interrupt my thoughts, pounding in a relentless rhythm that spells out my impending doom. My heart trips in time to that beat until I’m breathless, near passing out.

“Up, prisoner.”

Mustering every bit of strength I can, I ease myself from the floor and shuffle over. Numbness pervades my limbs, making them heavy, useless. Not even my sprain feels bad. It’s this odd feeling of both floating and falling at the same time.

He locks me in cuffs and drags me away, following the same route as Davix. My Alpha’s scent still lingers in the halls, giving me some bit of comfort. Part of me wants to open back up the bond, but I know it’s a selfish act. Besides, allowing this hurt, this need to beat at me, it’s one act of penance I can give him.

As we near the thick doors between me and my fate, loud voices pepper the air. By the sound of it, there’s arguing back and forth. I cannot make out the words, but I know the sound of Davix’s voice anywhere.

The closer we get, the more I can hear.

My heart leaps in my throat as the gruff tones flood my ears. It’s him. It’s my Alpha. Straining against the Guardian holding me, I pull forward, needing to be near him, needing to see him, but I’m not allowed to go ahead. I’m forced to remain just on the other side of the door.

So close, but so far.

“What you did was reckless,” an unknown male bellows out, making my knees quake. “As king, I should have been the first one you came to.”

“Is this the same king that went behind my back, ignoring any wishes I would have wanted regarding a mate? You were so concerned with keeping tabs on me that you would have forced me into a rut without my permission, stripping away any free will of my own. My killing Malus was righteous. You wanted to rape me for your depraved amusement.”

Everything goes silent between the king and Davix. In the pregnant pause, I draw into myself, sorrow lacing my mind at what my Alpha had to endure. My heart plummets as I recall my own actions toward him, rebuffing him when I smelled the other omegas. Just one more misdeed to lay at my feet to join the countless others.

“Point taken, Healer Alpha. However, what you are not aware of is the fact that we had an assassination attempt soon after being put into power. I don’t know who the fuck to trust and believe me, you are not at the top of my list. Your decent actions against my omega helped your cause but only went so far. Besides, that does not excuse everything else you did while in the hospital.”

“No,” Davix admits, and I can almost feel the defeated slump of his shoulders. I want to run to him, to comfort him, but the Guardian’s hand is firm on my shoulder, locking me into place. “But just like with Malus’s murder, everything I did was to protect my mate. What greater reason is that?”

“I don’t follow your logic,” King Jaxxon intones.

My palms itch as I stand there, listening to Davix as he recounts every time, every moment… everything he endured, just to keep me safe. Tears drip down my cheeks, soaking into the shirt I stole from Davix’s closet. How utterly selfish I had been to act this way, to treat him this way.

Worse than that, how could I have misjudged him so poorly? It still eats at me, gnawing away at my brain in an endless refrain that I’m unable to stop. The passion in his voice as he talks about me, it’s humbling. There’s no other word for it.

Closing my eyes, I open the bond, needing him to know how I feel, the sorrow, the love, the absolute perfection that is him. His speech falters for a moment as I inundate him with everything I feel. After a moment or two, I feel it coming back to me in waves.

No hurt. No anger. No recrimination. Love — pure and simple. As it has been, and how it always will be. This time, however, it’s Davix that blocks things off, leaving me in the cold and dark.

It stings, but deep down, I know it’s nothing like the pain I’ve caused him. Even if I have to make it up to him the rest of my life, I’ll find some way. There must be something I can do to convince him that I’m sorry, to show him that I love him… That deep down, I’ve always loved him, even if I was too scared to allow myself to feel it.

Soon after slamming down the barrier, Davix begins to speak again. “I love my mate with every fiber of my being. I will subject myself to any punishment you decide to take against me, but I ask that you do not put me away in prison. To do so would be to punish both of us. And that, I cannot allow.”

“You do realize she’s in prison for a crime of her own, do you not?”

“Yes, but even you have to admit those charges are ridiculous. She’s fiery, passionate, and headstrong at times, but you cannot tell me she harmed his mate on purpose. She’s good, kind, and everything that is right in this world.”

Guilt slams into me, forcing me to fall to my knees. The fact that he can see me like this, even after everything I’ve already done to him. I don’t deserve him. I know that now. I had one of the precious Alphas, the rare, good ones, and I squandered the time I had with him by clinging to old notions that had no bearing in this relationship.

“Through her actions,” King Jaxxon grinds out, “she caused harm to another Alpha’s mate. If you’re so keen on the protection of mates and omegas, and thus willing to kill another for a crime against them, then how is she exempt from the same?”

Fear locks my limbs. The king cannot be serious. My role in what happened to Karis was minuscule at best. I was the one that opened up and told Altris what he needed to know. They can’t possibly kill me after that. Can they?