Page 161 of Black Light: Cured

away. She never once gave anything less than her everything, and here I am, the jackass that gave her

the bare minimum emotionally, still too afraid of getting hurt.

All this time, I could have let myself be happy, but I chose to live in fear. I didn’t think about it

that way, but now that I can see things a bit more clearly, it’s so obvious. If I just told her how I felt,

told her I needed this job but needed her more, it would have hurt like hell if she rejected me, but she

at least would have known.

I would have known.

But skulking off in the middle of the night, I took away any opportunity to know what her true

feelings were. And where did that get me? Either way, I would have been crushed, but there’s no way

admitting that I loved her would have made this pain worse than what it is.

Everything I did was stupid. And the fact that it took fucking Spencer to confirm the error of my

ways makes it sting all the more.

I’ve watched the couples at Black Light together. I’ve studied them. I’ve seen the love they

shared, but I never thought I was capable of receiving it myself. And so I pushed all those feelings

away, clinging to the kink, to the release. In my mind, that was enough like love to satisfy me.

Joining The Diadem here in Dallas did nothing but prove just how wrong I was. Walking into that

plush dungeon made me realize there was a piece missing. It was Lila. It was love.

I want to win her back. I desperately want to, but I can’t see how.

I wrack my brain for several hours, pacing the floor as I puzzle things through. I love her. That’s

clear as day. I was an idiot. That’s also clear. Will she still want me? Even after everything I’ve

done?

And then it hits me. Something that I can do just for her.

It’s not the grandest gesture in the world, but hopefully, it will be enough to show her I’m serious.

And if it doesn’t work out, then I’ll just go back to D.C. and repair things. Hopefully, I haven’t ruined

things too much that the other Masters and submissives won’t be willing to help me.

Dialing Spencer again, I don’t even give him a chance to get a word out. “I have a plan.”

Heart in my throat, I pack up my stuff and have it sitting next to the door. I have just one more thing

to do, then I’m heading back home, back to Lila. That is… if she’ll still have me. Either way, it’s not

going to deter me from what I’m about to do.

As the driver zips us through downtown Dallas, I rehearse my speech under my breath, making