Page 34 of You Only Die Twice

Tears prick my eyes and drop to the floor, the dark crimson fading in with the human’s. That’s why they were licking my face. So many things make far too much sense now. And as they leave, the hollow ache of my heart rings out. I want to beg them to stay, but I know I’m being punished.

I can almost feel the despair rolling off Jackson, but Luka is an immovable force. He will bend me to his will no matter what. Dragging myself from the floor, I shuffle over to the bed, my mind whirling with what just happened. Though my hunger has abated slightly, it’s still there, humming under the surface.

Worse than that, the ache between my thighs is unreal. I lie on my back and spread my legs, the tears still flowing. Loneliness seeps into every pore as I force three fingers into me, the stretch not nearly enough. It’s a pale comparison to the fucking they give me.

Sobbing, I continue to stroke myself, desperate for any sort of relief. The orgasm I was denied rushes through me, but it feels hollow, empty, just like the room. The girl is dead now, and her blood smells wrong, rancid almost. It’s the only thing keeping me from climbing the walls somehow to lap at her wounds.

Turning to my side, I draw the blankets up around me, my soul tearing in two at the knowledge that I caused her death. I can’t live like this. I can’t go around with her death, and who knows how many others in the future, staining my soul. I wasn’t religious, but there’s no way this can be right. If there is a heaven or a hell, I’ve lost my chance at paradise.

I have to do something, figure out some way to end this while my soul is still as pristine as possible. Knowing Luka, he’ll force me to keep killing until I’m no longer able to tell the difference between right and wrong. Rolling back to my other side, I drop my feet to the floor and sink to my knees.

Vampires can die with a stake through the heart. Right? All the books and movies talk about it. If I can just gather the will to end myself, then I can stop all the senseless heartache and death before it even starts. I grip the leg of the bed and pull, hoping that some of the other lore is correct. Super strength sure would be amazing right about now.

It takes several yanks, but soon, the wood flies free in a splintering mess. Placing the wood on the floor, I line the edge to where my heart should be. It’s wide enough that even if I’m off by a little bit, it should still hit something. My breath comes out in a shaky gasp as I let my body weight do the work.

Terror grips me as I hear the frantic yelling and snarling of Jackson in my brain. If I don’t do this soon, he’ll stop me. I know he will. He doesn’t understand, and how can he? He’s already under Luka’s spell, but I still have a chance. With one final gasp, I throw myself the rest of the way, crying out as the wood pierces my body.

Closing my eyes, I wait for oblivion to take me.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jackson

I hear her thoughts, even as they swirl about in her head. Looking over at Luka, I try to match his calm demeanor, but I can’t. We just got her; how in the hell can we lose her so quickly. Turning, I make a move to storm in there, to keep her from harming herself, but Luka stops me, his hand unmovable around my wrist.

“You’re just going to let her kill herself? Do you want her to die?” Hysteria tinges my voice, but I don’t care at the moment. The only thing I care about is getting to Katrina before she ends her life. Hell, if I have to make her blood smoothies every day to keep her fed, then that’s what I’ll do. Anything to keep her by my side.

If I could think logically, then I’d remember what I know about being staked. The problem is, she’s still so young, so fragile. What’s to say this won’t actually kill her? She barely managed to get any of the blood down, so if she bleeds out, then what?

Luka still holds onto me, his face and posture reeking of boredom. How can he be so unfeeling? Hell, even I am okay with the monster I’ve become, but this? No feeling at all? My lips curl up into a snarl, ready to fight my maker over my mate, but he simply shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“Tell me. What is it about your generation that has you all reaching for the wrong conclusions with such surety?”

“This from the man who thought Katrina had cancer when more than likely, her fever was brought upon by the drug use you forced on her?”

That got him moving. He bristles, his body looming large over me. “That was different. How was I supposed to know her fever wasn’t deadly? This isn’t the same thing.”

“Not the same thing?” I scream back, my chest aching from where the wooden point resides on hers. “She’s going to die! You’re just going to let her?”

Again, he rolls his eyes and lets me go before crossing his arms. “She isn’t going to die. It’s not that simple. All that’s happening is a vampiric form of a hunger strike. Do you honestly think she’s the first to pull a stunt like this? Think. And not just with your muddled emotions. Let them go; they honestly don’t serve you well.”

I take a deep breath to stop my whirling thoughts. Closing my eyes, I feel the moment the wood pierces her body as if it’s my own. It’s agony. Luka feels it too. His lips are set in a thin line as the wood drives through us both. Is this what it truly means to be a sire? To suffer your whole existence feeling everything your underling feels?

“It does get better,” Luka mutters. “The older you get, the easier it becomes to separate your mind from them. That’s how Gloria got as far in her plans as she did. It is harder to separate yourself from those you newly turn. God. I thought you’d both be a bit less dramatic. How in all of existence did I manage to find the two most emotional people to turn?”

Ignoring his jab, I stand there, waiting for the emptiness like Luka described, but it doesn’t come. After a minute or two, I crack an eye open and glance up at him. The look on his face is an odd mixture of both humor and annoyance.

“Does this mean it missed her heart?”

Luka’s lips quirk up. “Oh, I’m sure she managed to pierce that useless organ. No doubt it will take her body at least a night or two to repair the damage she’s done. If she thinks that will keep me from unleashing my displeasure on her body, then she’s sorely mistaken. Come.”

He opens the door, and we both walk in, the sight a horror to behold. Katrina lies limp over the wood, her hair fanning around her face as she looks at the floor. Luka saunters over, his steps echoing in the room. It’s an ominous sound, and for a moment, I’m frightened for her. Will I have the power to hold Luka back if need be?

“Why do you insist on letting your thoughts go in these directions? If I didn’t care about the girl, I wouldn’t remove the stake. I’d just let her stay here until I felt like relieving her. Enough. I grow tired of your assumptions.”

With a swift nudge of his foot, Luka shoves Katrina to the ground. Her body plops down with a sickening thud as her head rolls back, revealing lifeless eyes. On instinct, I reach for my breastbone, waiting for her emptiness. She’s dead. There’s no doubt about it. I’ve seen death before.

“Come here.” I shuffle over, trying desperately to keep my riotous emotions under the surface. “When you killed the leader I ordered you to destroy, what happened to his minions?”