Page 52 of Dark Company

Again, the pain of Altris’s betrayal flutters in my gut, and I hate it. In all actuality, he did nothing wrong, not as an Alpha and me as an omega, but still that roiling in my insides, the whispers that coat my mind like a rotting film, scream at me that it’s wrong. All wrong. The bond is wrong. Our pairing is wrong.

Everything is so overwhelming, and I haven’t even breathed, really. Looking deep into Alexi’s eyes, I reach out my hands and grip hers, trying to figure out what to say. No doubt if I tell her everything, she’ll just tell me it’s par for the course. It’s easy for her to sit there in judgment since she knew she was an omega from birth.

She was trained to take the affections of an Alpha; I never was. She was born into a world where she knew what was expected of her; I was trained for a life of a beta—free, mostly, to do as I will. Even now, I feel the shackles of Altris’s “affections” as he reaches out into the bond.

He’s probably spying on me, wondering what it is we’re doing. The main issue I have is that I have no clue how this bond works. Can he actually pick up on thoughts and hear them as clear as day? Or can he only sense my emotions? So many things I wish I knew. So many things I wish I was prepared for. But it’s done now. I’m claimed, mated, and chained to a barbarian that seems more animal than a man at times.

“I - I need to get away.”

“Is he hurting you?” Alexi’s eyes are calm and comforting, a balm, as she stares at me.

But what can I even tell her? What would be less embarrassing? If I tell her the truth, that I liked what the bite of pain did to me, will she look up upon me with derision? Will she brush it off as just a weird phase? Do omegas normally like pain?

Now, more than ever, I wish I could curl up at the Clan Mother’s feet. No doubt in her long life she’s picked up far more than I ever could. It’s like I’m navigating a foreign stream with no way of steering myself. Everything is just so out of control now. Even my plan to bolt. I feel like I’m at the precipice and have no way of turning back.

“He’s not what I imagined.” I finally concede, feeling that it’s the best way to be truthful, but hide my inner shame at the same time.

Smirking, Alexi pulls the tunic back up. “Most Alphas usually aren’t. Did you enjoy him at least?”

Ladria looks up at me at that part, and that’s when I remember that she’s still a virgin. Of course she’ll want to know all the dirty details. I want to tell her. I want to spill my guts to her and let her know about the blissful pleasure that overtakes your body, sending it over the edge until it shatters into nothing. But I also want to warn her of the blinding pain that comes when an Alpha marks you, forcing you to be his own.

There’s so much to say, but certainly not enough time to say it in. I have no way of judging how much time has passed, but I know Altris will come for me sooner rather than later. The bond buzzes in my heart, mirroring what I can only assume is his anxiousness to get me back under his control.

Forcing the anxiety aside, I reach out and pull Alexi into a hug, despite the pain searing through my shoulder. I hold her tight for as long as I dare before holding her at arm's length. “Don’t lie if you don’t have to, but please, as much as you can, allow me a head start.”

I turn and hug Ladria as well, forcing myself to ignore the tears that well up in her eyes. She’s so soft, so new. She’s not even marked, yet the moment she gets to Stanlion, that is, if the Alphas decide to take Alexi and Ladria with them, she’ll have no choice but to be put up in High Sanctum.

The only bright spot I have is that Alexi escaped from there once, and I know she can do it again. I don’t worry about her. I worry about Ladria. There’s a pain lurking in her eyes, one that I can’t pinpoint, and now will never have the chance of finding out.

“You can’t leave,” Alexi hisses, looking up and down the river. “An omega out there alone? Where will you even go?” Once more, she glances about, worry pinching her face. “You just finished your heat, but that doesn’t mean your body won’t go through another one. With all the suppressants you’ve had, there’s no telling what might happen.”

Brushing off her concern, I purposely ignore it. I can’t let this one worry keep me shackled here. If I did, I would never be able to leave. There will always be the threat of this fucking heat. “I’m going to go back to the commune. It can’t be that far from here.”

She peers at me, her eyes squinting as she studies my face. “You’re lying. Where are you really going?”

“Look. I can’t go back to the commune,” I admit. “It’s the first place he’ll look. I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to at least try. Knowing him, he’ll come find me after the first hour or two has gone by. You needn’t worry about me. I’ll either find another commune to take me in, or he’ll drag me back.”

“But I -.”

“I’m doing this with or without your help. It’s your choice; I’m not going to decide for you. But this is my chosen path, and I will not waver.”

The flinch that crosses Alexi’s face hits me in the heart. None of this is her fault, yet she seems to be taking the brunt from me. Truthfully, I’m just tired. I’m utterly exhausted from all of this and have not been given any reprieve. It’s not that I’m trying to lash out at Alexi, but right now, she’s a safe target.

Her eyes cloud over with sorrow as she raises her hand to my face and rests her palm against my cheek. “My poor Karis. I am heartbroken that you did not find what you were looking for. I pray that the goddess Ilaria guides you, that she keeps you safe. Please. Please be safe. I’ll misdirect him for as long as I can, but Altris is a warrior. He will find you with no issue. My only advice is to stay by the water. It will dull your scent, making you harder to find, and you will have a better chance of finding a new civilization.”

Nodding, I hug both her and Ladria once more, and take off in the direction the water is flowing. The heat of the day is waning as the suns start to make their descent, so I should be fine for a few hours at least. That should be enough to give me a head start.

My heart throbs with each step I take away, as if my body is refusing to move. It wants to go back to him, to the shelter of the Alpha that owns it. I can’t let it. I can’t let him win. Looking at the cool water, I glance back, noting the tents like specs in the distance. Surely, I’m far enough away that I can clear the grime from my body.

I take off the tunic and lay it on top of a nearby rock, just big enough for a ball of fabric. Pain flows through my body as I slip into the water, as if by removing him from me, I’m making a choice I can never come back from. If only we weren’t so different. If only we could have made this work. Nausea churns in my gut as the water becomes cloudy for a moment, then continues to flow, washing his essence away.

I want so desperately to make things work, but I can’t. There’s no way to repair the damage between us. But more than that, I’m too afraid to try. He is bent towards violence, and though, deep down, I know he would never harm me, I don’t want to become a victim of his wrath.

With his scent off of me, that should make it easier to hide. Besides, his tunic smells enough like him to ward off any other predators. Since I’m not in heat anymore, I won’t have to contend with slick giving away my dynamic either. In truth, it’s the perfect time to run.

Chapter 13

Altris