Page 49 of Dark Company

“Yes,” Leon presses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But you shouldn’t have these feelings towards her. She’s just a simple woman.”

“In that case, I need a way to control her, to bend her to my will without committing violence I can’t come back from.”

Once more, Leon chuckles and slaps his hand on my shoulder. “My friend, what you need to learn is that no woman is ever truly controlled. We like to think they are, but deep down, they're wild souls. You just have to embrace that and go with it.”

Eyes wide, I stare at him, feeling something break in my brain. “Even omegas?”

“Well, that is a little different. The ones at the High Sanctum are raised to be docile, but betas are a different breed.”

“Leon. She’s an omega. I need to know how to control an omega.”

“And what I’m telling you, is she was basically raised as a beta. Her instincts might not be there. If you want her docile, then you’re going to have to get mean. But it’s your choice. Do you break her or embrace her? You came into this mating with a lot of damage. The fact that we found Princess omega Karis here of all places tells me she has damage too.”

Sighing, I sit down on the sand, letting the warmth drive the chill from my body. “How do you do it? You were in the same program as me. You were always able to be with other women. Did they not use the fake ruts and breeding machine on you?”

His eyes cloud over as he looks off into the distance. Murderous rage flashes through his face as his fingers clench. “I will never discuss what that scum did to me.” Looking back at me, I can see the stark pain that lines his soul. “You were the lucky one. I’m only so good with women because I have beaten the urge to kill out of my system. It’s men I detest, men I despise. But never women. They are not capable of the same atrocities.”

Without saying another word, he stands and walks over to a bubbling spring, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I never knew he was holding back from me. I thought we were like brothers. But the fact that even now he’s consumed with so much hate and anger makes me wonder what they did to him. It seems like it was much worse than the milking machine.

Grabbing a few slabs of meat, I take it over to the central fire and slide it onto some skewers. One thing resonates with me, though. For all her snarling and fighting back, there’s never a chance she can do the same thing to me as another man.

I guess now I have to figure out what I truly want. In my mind, I thought I always wanted a sweet, docile omega, but now that I have Karis, should I just let all that go? It’s not just that I want her to submit to me out of some archaic need to be in control, but mostly to keep her safe.

As a female, she’s already at so much risk, but as an omega, it triples the danger. I don’t feel that overwhelming sense of panic like I probably would have if the revolution had not taken place, but the unease of losing her still slides about in my mind.

It’s a slimy, fetid thing that lives and breathes in my soul. It haunts my waking dreams and nightmares. The worst thing, other than having no mate, is to have one and lose them. I’ve heard the horror stories. I’ve seen Alphas in their prime cut down by the loss of their omega.

I never want to feel that sense of despair of having half of my life ripped from me. That's the reason I want her to submit to me. I need her to submit to me. I need to know she’s safe and under my care. Karis is under my skin and in my soul, whether or not I like it. She may not be the mate I would have chosen, but she’s mine. She’s a part of me, and every moment I spend with her is another moment I’m under her spell. Gods help me.

Chapter 12

Karis

Several minutes pass and I still stare at the dish, my stomach growling with unchecked hunger. I have no idea how long it’s been since my heat started, but I’m sure I haven’t eaten during that time. The loud growl from my stomach rivals that of Altris himself.

A smirk comes to my face unbidden as I imagine what type of growl his stomach would make. No doubt it would be far louder than mine. Shaking my head, I stare down at the dish, willing those thoughts out of my brain. I can’t let myself see him in any sort of light other than a villain.

Even now, my body throbs with the orgasm he denied me. It twists at my insides and winds through my core until I’m nearly breathless. Nothing I do provides me relief. My hands can rest on the floor but can’t slide back far enough for me to touch myself.

My nipples are achy points that make me cry out every time they scrape along the rough texture beneath me. This is never what I wanted. Would it have been this hard to breathe if I were around a woman?

Groaning, I rest my head on my arms and force the thought of Alexi out of my brain. Now that I’ve been with Altris, I know for a fact that my body craves men. Still, though, when his finger grazed against my asshole, it nearly undid me. I wanted him to push forward, filling me deeply, proving to me that I like the sensation just as much from him as I did from Alexi.

The scent of his cum calls to me. It permeates my brain until all I can think about is lapping it up, taking him deep inside. I’m not exactly sure where things went wrong, but I see no way of them righting themselves. The anger I harbor towards him is still there, hot and molten, but I can’t understand why.

All I know is that I have an intense need to lash out at him, to remove the tether that holds me in place. Even now, I feel the anger on his end, the never-ending vibration of his wrath as it jangles deep inside my soul. Would things have been different if I never marked him? I could still feel him slithering about my mind when clarity slammed into me, robbing me of my chance to really determine my feelings.

Perhaps me marking him is what made it so much worse. Though I felt him, it was more of a shadow in my mind, a controllable force that was far more gentle. Now, it’s a cord that’s permanently hooked into my soul, letting his feelings flow directly into me without any inhibition. This was all my fault. If only I could make do with the earlier tether.

Maybe in time, it would have become more tolerable. I could have dismissed his gentle urges and nudges with enough practice. But now? It’s as if he’s flayed alive, pouring himself into me with an unstoppable force. I can’t shove him out; I can’t ignore him. Gods, would it still have been this bad if I allowed it to happen? If we came together on mutual terms, would it still feel like the core of who I am is being swallowed up by him?

Closing my eyes, I try to find the good in my situation. Hell, he was bathed in light when I saw him, indicating that he was the one the gods chose for me. But did they choose wrong? Are we just so incompatible that everything in me screams to run? It’s no longer just his fault; it’s mine as well. I let myself get carried away in the romanticism of the gods that I didn’t stop to think about the outcome.

If Annora was here, she’d chuckle and agree. According to her, I was always flighty, never one to settle down and take on responsibility. But there’s so much more to me than that. I’m not just some waste of space that dreams of something better. The hopes and ambitions I had certainly ran towards settling down and having a family with a strong, virile Alpha, but now I have to wonder if it was the omega in me screaming to get free.

Perhaps all my issues with school, with finding a nice beta to settle down with, and all the smaller, little irritants all stemmed from my heart and body constantly being at war. Somehow, Annora had it all. She was able to be resourceful, studious, but looking back on it, every action she did was based around taking care of us and the family. She was still able to be true to her omega nature yet stay under the radar.

What the hell is so broken with me? Even with the suppressants out of my system, I still don’t feel like what I imagine an omega should? I’m not suddenly instilled with the desire to just stay at home, tend to my nest, and raise a brood of children.