Page 29 of Dark Company

“Karis. I can’t. Please. Don’t tempt me more than I can bear. You’re not in your right mind. I promise you, once your heat breaks, you’ll be grateful I allowed you this moment instead of indulging in what I want and what you think you need.”

Anger churns in my gut, driving out the intensity of the sexual need thrumming through me. Of course she’d abandon me. She made it very clear that she was simply going to tease me and then leave me to the males. Drawing my hand back, I tear the other jar of soap from her grasp, snarling as I lather it over my body.

“Please. Don’t be angry. I can’t. I can’t take advantage of you like this. It’s not personal -.”

“I don’t want to hear it. I just want to get this godsdamned ceremony over with so I can get the fuck on with my life.”

Ladria shrinks closer to the exit, her eyes wide as she stares up at me. A faint sheen shimmers up from those wide orbs, and I want to feel bad. Deep inside, I want to feel remorse over my words and actions, but I can’t find it in me to do so. It’s just like them to abandon me. Everyone else has done so.

It doesn’t matter that the small, rational part of my brain still screams at me that it isn’t the case. They’re trying to help me, protect me, but I can’t listen to it. I can’t hear it over the enormity, the maelstrom of emotions that cascade within my body. It’s too much. All of this is too much.

I’ve heard whispers of omegas that went mad, feral even, but no one talked about how that happened. It was a figment, a boogeyman, a story passed down through generations to extol the benefits of mating early. If an omega gets too stressed, her mind fractures, rendering her unable to think in a calm, rational manner.

Those omegas were usually sent outside of the gates to wander about in their own psychosis or sent to a solarium where they were rehabilitated. Since I’m stuck in this commune, I can almost guarantee that there is no place of rest for me. If I go insane, I’ll be thrust out into the desert, the same vast nothingness they picked me up from.

Fitting.

A sharp sting of pain following a loud, cracking smack blossoms on my cheek. Dumfounded, I lift my hand to the area and hold for a moment, unable to process the sensations flooding my body. It hurts, but it’s not so much more than the sensation of my limbs ripping apart at the seams or the splintering of my mind as it begins to fracture.

“Karis. Stay with me. You’re fine. You just have to hold on a little bit longer.” Shaking my head, I clear the ringing and stare down at Alexi. Her hands are balled into fists at her sides as she glares up at me. “I know it’s a lot to process, but you’re acting like you’re the first omega to ever go into heat. You’re not.”

“No, but I’m probably the first to live her life not knowing she’s an omega at all. How do you think I feel? How do you think any of this feels?”

“Like shit. Remember, I’m from Stanlion. I know what it’s like to live there, suffocating under the oppression of the High Echelon. Why did you think I fled?”

“That’s why I left too.” Ladria’s soft voice pierces the tense silence between Alexi and me.

We both turn to her, staring at Ladria as if she grew another head from her neck. Alexi recovers before I do and storms over to her, her hand reaching out to snatch her arm and bring her close.

“You didn’t think to tell me? Why? Why the hell would you keep that from me?”

“You - you wanted to leave. You didn’t want to remain in the High Sanctum. Somehow, you were able to escape. I never even made it to the High Sanctum. The minute I realized what I was, I ran.” She holds her arm out to us, showing her bare skin. “I never even let them mark me.”

The cold water feels even more chilly as it splashes down onto my body. Here we are, a trio that fled Stanlion, each for a different reason. What did that make us? Some kind of gang? As omegas, we aren’t even strong enough to fight against anyone, let alone form a gang.

“I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to be fully ingrained into the camp before I revealed my origins. I’m sure they’re still looking for me.”

Alexi snorts and reaches past her to turn off the water and grab a towel. “You were here before I was. They think you’re dead at best.”

Ladria’s lips turn down for a moment before she shakes her head. “It’s okay. You’re my family now.”

At her words, my insides begin to twist again, but this time out of sorrow and regret. She’s right. Annora told me to run. My parents are dead. The betas at school with me were once my friends, but would they still be when it was discovered that I was an omega?

How many of them would come visit me in the High Sanctum? How many would keep me company? Hell, how many would help me stand trial? Even though I was not masking of my own volition, there would still be a trial to determine that. And what of Annora? Based on the fact that she has the same color eyes as I do, is telling that she’s also an omega.

Is that why she told me to run? Wherever she is, I hope she’s safe and well, but truly, she’s no longer my family. These women right here, these are my sisters. They will help fill the void when the emptiness becomes too much. Taking the towel from Alexi, I wrap my hair into the warm cloth before grabbing the next to dry off my body.

Every movement is difficult for me as I step out of the tub. It’s as if my joints are somehow glued together and don’t want to move. An alternating pattern of heat and cold races through my body, clenching my stomach enough that I have to stop and breathe, or I’ll be nauseous. My brain bounces around, trying to catch everything that’s being said and process it.

One thing is for sure, Ladria is still scared, even though she’s safe in this commune. We’re so far away from Stanlion that there’s no reason for her to be this agitated. Her worry laces the air, making me want to gag on the heavy scent. I need to calm her down, or I’ll throw up for sure. What I need to do now is force my brain to concentrate on what’s going on around me. That’s the only way I’ll make it through until the ceremony.

“Your secret is safe with me, though gods know why you feel the need to hide it.” Sighing, I step over and grab her into a hug. “No one here seems to care who you are or where you come from.”

Alexi slides in behind to wipe down my back. “Unless there’s something else you haven’t told us. What, were you a thief or something?”

Ladria winces, but remains silent. It’s fine; let her keep her secrets. I have more than enough to last a lifetime, and I don’t need hers to compound it. Still, the curious part of me wants to know what she did that was so bad that she felt the need to flee before she was even marked. That has to mean she ran away at least five years ago or more.

She is only a few months behind me in age. Tears gather in my eyes as I stare down at the soft green covering my wrist. Beta High Precinct. A damned lie. It’s not at all who I am, but deep down, I still want to cling to the falsehood that defined the better part of my life. Reaching over, I grab Alexi’s hand and trace the blue circle and crown that makes up an omega symbol.