Page 27 of Dark Company

“I will not take your virtue, but I am going to make sure you’re wide enough that you can accommodate him. Otherwise, it’s going to be very painful. I need you to lie back and relax while I work. If you feel the need to touch yourself, I will not stop you or reprimand you.”

Even though she gave me permission, I can’t bring myself to stroke that bundle of nerves again. Not after what happened the last time. It was far too overwhelming, and I don’t want to fall apart in front of Alexi. Even though she’s skirted the very boundaries of my sanity, part of me wants to know what it’s like to go even further.

If the lackluster shafts that have been bobbing around this commune are any indication, I’ll probably find myself back into her arms soon enough. Her slim fingers once more probe at my entrance, and I can’t keep the moan back. Oil drips from her fingertips onto my inflamed skin, and it feels like tongues darting out to lap at me.

Once more, she spreads her fingers, opening my entrance, but this time, she doesn’t stop until the bite of pain fills my lower half. She pulls back and starts again, applying more oil as she forces my body open. After an eternity, I feel a blunt force at my entrance.

The head is massive as she attempts to notch it into my opening. Oh, gods. If this is just the tip, there’s no way I’ll be able to take the entire shaft. Groaning, I try to pull away, but Alexi just keeps pushing forward, only relenting after a few moments. My breath comes in ragged gasps as I lie there, feeling my body start to split in two.

She allows me to rest for a moment but doesn’t let up. Until this moment, I wasn’t sure about the preparation process, but now I’m so grateful for it. The fact that I thought I’d be able to mate with an Alpha and it would be no big thing is completely false.

There’s no way they would prepare an omega like this in the High Sanctum. Tears stream down my cheeks as Annora’s face swims into view. Would this have been easier if my body was allowed to live as an omega? Is that why I’m struggling so much, needing the touch of another woman to help prepare me for a cock I could never take?

Anger and arousal swirl in my gut in a volatile combination. Stanlion did nothing to help prepare me for anything. From this point on, Stanlion is dead to me. This commune is my new life. If it means forcing myself past these antiquated thought processes to embrace a freer life, then that’s just what I’m going to have to do.

Chapter 8

Karis

Sleep eludes me. Every time I shut my eyes, I find that I’m unbearably uncomfortable. Shifting over to my side, I study the light from the rising suns as it illuminates the back part of my tent. Too late to turn back now. Today, I lose my innocence, but I’m nowhere near figuring out who I want to share my first sexual encounter with.

In order for the ritual to work, it has to be a man. Something about his divine seed bringing the rain, but I think it’s a bunch of bullshit. A heavy sigh clings to my lips as I twist about, unable to get comfortable. Sweat beads across my skin, but even that doesn’t give me relief.

I want so desperately to take a dip in the nearby waters that cut through the commune, but I don’t want to chance anyone seeing me. They’ll be seeing more than enough in just a handful of hours. Pain radiates through my body like splinters burrowing into my skin.

It’s not enough that I feel I need medical attention, but it’s uncomfortable, adding to the anxiety of the day. You’d think with how meticulous Alexi and Ladria have been about preparing me, that they would be in the tent with me, keeping me company in these last hours.

Snorting, I rise up and mess with the blankets and pillows under me, smooshing them and maneuvering them until they’re finally comfortable enough to lie back down on. It’s like I’m preparing for an execution and not just the loss of my sacred barrier.

Tears prick my eyes as I once more lie on my side and stare at the rising illumination as shafts of light filter into my tent. This is one of the biggest moments of my life, and no one is here to share it with me. It’s like I’m attending a mating ceremony alone.

No mother.

No father.

No sister.

Just a bunch of strangers who're going to see far more of me than they should be allowed. Groaning, I bury my face into a nearby pillow, anger surging through me, causing everything to cramp in anticipation of a fight.

None of this would be an issue if I wasn’t forced to leave Stanlion. I wouldn’t even have these fears and worries piling on top of me like so many blankets threatening to smother me. I’d be at home with Annora, living my lie, given opportunities to live my best life until I found an Alpha.

Now, I’m stuck in this sweltering cesspool, about to give my virginity away to a statue while everyone else watches. Forcing myself onto my back, I stare at the ceiling of the tent for a few moments before closing my eyes. It’s just nerves. I need to get some rest before today’s ceremony.

Without looking, I reach over to the side where I scratched out the days as they went by. It’s been nearly three weeks since I left Stanlion, and, if my calculations are correct, today is my birthday. A morose smile flits across my face as memories of past birthdays come floating at the top of my subconscious.

I never truly thanked Annora for doing her best to make those days special. At the time, I resented her, never understanding why we couldn’t have a party like the others I went to school with. Their parties were always massive, with piles of gifts. The most I got was a handmade cake and some trinkets.

Gods, what I would do to taste that cake once more? Here, there’s nothing but meat and with vegetables that are on the verge of turning. Sometimes, when caravans come back, there’ll be extra treats like fish or grains, but never enough to make something as lavish as a simple cake.

It’s infuriating. In one breath, I want to curse Annora for forcing me into this half-life of an omega living as a beta, but on the other, I just want to hug her close and never let her go. Is she even okay? Squeezing my eyes shut, I pretend to enter her mind, just as I used to when I was a little girl.

She would always play along and “confirm” what she was thinking, making it seem like I was truly psychic. Deep down, as I got older, I knew she was just going with it, granting me a few moments of levity with her. If I could actually go into her mind, she would not have been able to hide something this massive from me.

Why couldn’t she just trust me? My fingers ball up into fists and I slam them against the sifting sand. If only she just talked to me. We could have figured this out together. But no, she left me to discover my dynamic on my own, in a place where I’m not valued in the same way.

I’m an offering to them and nothing more. In Stanlion, I would have had my choice of Alpha suitors. I wouldn't have had to worry about a heat, because my Alpha would have been there to take care of it. It would have been his massive divine shaft inside of me, forcing past the barrier instead of some unfeeling piece of stone.

It doesn’t matter how much they heat it up, it’s still implacable, devoid of feeling. What I truly wanted was to have someone scoop me up in their arms and shield me from these options. Even though the beta males here are still bigger than me, it’s not enough for me to feel safe, buried away, hidden.