Page 20 of Dark Company

“Forgive me, Clan Mother. It is not your wisdom, I question. It is, in fact, that horrid specimen that dares to give himself the title of man.”

Her sigh permeates the room as she shuffles the rest of the way in. “Alexi, leave us. I wish to talk to Karis alone.”

With a slight nod of her head, she makes her way back to the exit of the tent but gives me a soft smile before slipping through the heavy fabric. Just great. Now, I’m alone with the Clan Mother with no one to help me defend myself. I have no idea what has happened or even what I’m about to be accused of. There’s a giant hole of nothing in the space between then and now.

“Brennen is furious, but that’s not why I am here. He can rant and rage all he wants, but at the end of the day, he triggered an omega’s rage within you, and I need to know why.”

Lying back against the pillow, I close my eyes and search the shards of memories that stab at my brain. The more I think, the more it hurts. Reaching up, I cradle my head in my hands and press inward, hoping to alleviate the discomfort. I know what he did; I just don’t know why it would make me fly into such a rage.

Yet again, I’m forced to face the fact that I’m not a beta, as I was brought up to believe. Every time I turn around, there’s yet more proof. I’ve only heard of an omega’s rage once, and that was when an Alpha tried to take an omega from the High Sanctum unsanctioned. She was frightened by the intrusion and attacked him.

To my knowledge, they were both put to death. An omega’s rage is only one step away from becoming a Feral, and that was not something that was tolerated in Stanlion. Ferals lived outside the structures of the city. They roamed around killing, feeding on blood. And now, I’m one of them, polluted by being outside the safety of the walls for so long.

“Dear. I need you to speak to me.”

Turning away, I can’t help the scowl that twists my lips. She sounds so nice, loving even, but it’s fake. It has to be. One nice memory before I’m executed. The two-facedness of this whole commune sickens me. On the one hand, they claim to be a haven for betas and omegas, a place where they can live out their life in peace.

However, since I’ve been brought here, there’s been nothing but turmoil and strife. Granted, most of it has been because I’m being compelled to face the lies that were, quite literally, forced down my throat since I was a child, but that doesn’t negate the fact that predators like Brennen are allowed to roam about, safe to be amongst women simply because he’s a beta.

The Clan Mother waxed poetic about the dangers of allowing an Alpha in the midst of this camp. However, she completely seems to neglect the fact that a dynamic is not what creates the monsters. It’s the core of the person, their soul. If a soul is tainted, no amount of dynamic will fix that. Just like I’m sure there are absolutely horrid omegas. They’re just never seen as anything other than what their DNA dictates.

Although Brennen is a beta, his core makeup is foul. Since the day he first saw me, he pursued me, refusing to take no for an answer. I have been around far more Alphas in Stanlion than I have the betas in this camp, and never once did any of them touch me or force me against their bodies. They respected me as a woman, even though I was merely a beta in their eyes.

“I do not wish to speak. Just prepare for my execution. I will go with dignity.”

“Child. You must stop this senseless fascination with death and harm. Since I have known you, all that has dripped from your lips is a pessimistic view of who we are and how we operate. Did it ever occur to you that the women of this commune have far more rights than the men? Did it never pop into your brain that maybe we’re here to protect you?”

Turning, I temper my glare before it can reach my face. “I would believe that if everyone actually spoke in plain terms instead of vague musings. I am new to both living in a commune such as this and being an omega. I have no way of understanding half of what you’re saying. In Stanlion, for an omega to attack anyone, it was a death sentence.”

Sighing, I lay my head back on the pillow. “I’ve lived there all my life as opposed to the few weeks I’ve been here. My world is turned upside down, and I have no one to really confide in. There’s no one here from Stanlion that can help me navigate all of this. As kind as you have been, I still worry about the day when it will all stop, and I’ll be forced to see your true side.”

Her smile is soft and warm as she walks over to me and smooths her hand down over my hair. “My child, forgive me. I didn’t realize it would be so difficult for you to transition. I keep forgetting that almost everyone was born here and is quite comfortable with the freedom we offer.”

Pausing for a moment, she sits down next to me before continuing. “There is one that you might confide in. Your friend Alexi. She fled to us from Stanlion, unable to deny what she was. It was that or continue to suffer in the High Sanctum. Perhaps you can allow her to be your guide. She took to living here quite well. But then, she also wanted a change. She didn’t want to remain as she was. I fear you’re still quite stuck in the quagmire of your old life.”

She wasn’t wrong about that. As much as part of me wanted to embrace what this commune was offering, I couldn’t fully enjoy any of it. I was too consumed with what the gods and High Echelon thought to really give myself over completely. Somewhere, deep down, I still harbored a secret hope that I would one day be able to return.

Tears stream down the sides of my face as sorrow overtakes me. Until this moment, I never really let go of the idea of going back. It always seemed like the logical choice. And yet, unless someone took me there, I wouldn’t be able to get back home. The desert is endless, with no path in sight. This is my home now, and I have to accept that.

“Please, child, tell me what happened.”

My mind races back to that moment, the moment before it all went dark. It’s so odd to look upon those fragments of time, to see them, but not really be there. It’s like I’m a spectator in my own mind, not at all connected with my body.

“He wouldn’t stop touching me. I demanded that he let me go, but he wouldn’t. I fought. I -. He wouldn’t let me go. I can’t tell you what happened after that. Things went dark, and then I woke up here.”

The Clan Mother leans over and slides her hand along my arm for a moment before gathering my hand in hers. “It’s all right not to know what happened. When an omega flies into a rage, they are unaware of anything except to remove the threat from their person. That you did so tells me you felt as though Brennen was a threat. I will allow no one, beta or omega, to remain in this commune if they are perceived as a threat. That he wouldn’t accept your answer of no makes it all the worse.”

Her bones pop as she stands back up, reminding me of just how old she is. Shame floods my body as the enormity of her stations hits me. She’s only ever tried to help. I’ve snapped at the hand that attempted to feed me repeatedly, yet she still approached and pet me despite my surly demeanor.

“What will happen to him?”

“He will sit in judgment, and once he is found guilty, he will be given enough rations to keep him safe until he can either make shelter or find someone else that will take him in.”

“Clan Mother, you must understand. I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. I -.”

“Enough. I will not allow you to diminish yourself any further. None of this is trouble because of you. If Brennen respected our laws and way of life, as he claimed he did, he would never have laid a finger on you after you told him no. The fault is his alone and not yours. And before you even think that it’s your dynamic that’s caused this, you are mistaken. He’s surrounded daily by omegas, many of whom are close to heat. To my knowledge, he has restrained himself. Until now. It makes me wonder what type of black heart he harbors to allow him to slip in unawares through my flock. I will not stand for it.”

With a final nod, she turns and leaves through the back curtains, leaving me alone with my thoughts. It’s so easy to believe that I am the one to blame, despite her words. In fact, all they did was inflame the idea even more.