Page 11 of Dark Company

It doesn’t matter what this male’s designation is. No man has ever looked upon me in any state of undress. Even the miscreants at school only got the barest of glimpses as us females walked from the showers to our clothing receptacles. The ones that dared tried to look up on us in our glory were transferred to another school, one that contained only males.

“My dear.” The Clan Mother’s voice is soft, almost thoughtful. “You will not find an Alpha to look upon your divine. Once you’ve given yourself to Xiarius, you will better understand how things work in this commune. We may not be able to provide you with an Alpha, but there will be men lining up to pleasure you and put a child in your belly.”

“And if that child proves to be an Alpha?”

Her eyes flutter for a moment, but not before I catch a hint of sadness in those gray depths. They speak of loss, of separation, and of devastation. Sliding my hand to my throat, my body falls forward until my knees crash into the warm sand. She doesn’t have to say a word. Her eyes say it all.

“How long ago?” I can barely get the words out, but I have to know.

If I am to be a prisoner of this commune, then I need to know all of it. The good, bad, and the ugly.

“I believe a better question is, how many? As an omega, I am far more fertile than the other betas here, and despite my unions being with only beta males, I still managed to produce a fair number of Alphas—male and female. I named them all and sent them to Stanlion. The most recent was an Alpha female I gave the name of Marlana to.”

“So, not even Alpha females?”

“No.” Her voice is strong as she straightens up her spine. “For us to live in harmony, no Alpha may stay. At the most, we give them food and water, but then we send them on their way. All omegas are forced to reside in their tents until the Alphas are gone. I cannot allow even a chance at one of them being taken by a brute such as them.”

Sadness surrounds me like a shroud, a worn cloak that does nothing to shield the soul. Once I lose my innocence to the statue, I will never take a male to my bed. I refuse to allow any potential child of mine to be ripped from my arms. If that means I keep this celibate life, then so be it. I’ve made it almost eighteen years as it is. What’s an eternity more?

Since I’ve never been educated on what happens between Alphas and their mates, it’s not like I’ll be missing out. True, the other girls and I hypothesized about what happened, but we never knew for sure. Besides, if being with a male causes me the embarrassment that I experienced at that statue, then I want no part of it. It’s not right for a woman to leak unexpectedly from their divine anatomy.

It must prove that something is terribly wrong with all of this. No male has ever caused a physical reaction in me like that before, and yet, a few minutes with a statue and my body releases itself without my ability to stop it. Is this the sign of a false god? Is my body telling me something? Warning me away from this form of sacrifice?

“What if I refuse? What if I chose to not give myself to Xiarius? You have given me no proof that I’m an omega anyway.”

Her lips purse into a thin line. Sympathy exudes from her pores. What the fuck does she have to feel sorry about? She’s the one that’s fed into this lie, not me. That she looks at me with such maternal worry makes me both furious and desolate. Annora tried to be a mother to me, but she never was. She was always my sister first.

Even now, my heart aches as I stand there, wishing for my sister when it’s clear she’ll never find me. I long for her calm but firm voice as she tells me once more to eat. I never thought I’d miss those days. We fought so much, but when push came to shove, I knew she’d always have my back. And now that I’m here with these strange people and their false interpretation of the gods, I long for her stability even more.

Instead, I have this woman, this Clan Mother. She looks so fucking familiar that it stirs a deep ache inside me, a longing for her to gather me into her arms and tell me it’s going to be okay. But she doesn’t. There’s no way for her to know what I need, and it stirs up that impotent rage once more.

If only Annora found me. If only she never told me to flee. I would not be in this mess if it wasn’t for her. And now, I’m trapped. I’m forced to make a decision that will forever alter my life. If I don’t give myself over to this god, they may toss me back out into the desert. But if I choose to take the path that whispers so decadently in my ears, I’ll ruin myself for any potential Alpha.

Taking in a deep breath, I force myself to face the facts. No one is coming for me. No one will rescue me. I am alone in this godsforsaken commune with a beta that wants me for his own—a beta that is not worthy of my attentions. The look in his eyes as he grabbed me still troubles my brain, a specter that refuses to leave its haunting place.

That’s what I have to look forward to. More men lining up to get a taste of my divine anatomy. If this is my future, then why should I care if I give my innocence over to a statue? At least we both can enter the affair unfeeling, unmoved by the situation.

“My child -.”

“You’re not my mother,” I spit out before I can control my words.

Her eyes widen as she leans back, almost as if I physically slapped her. The moment I say it, I regret it. It isn’t her fault that I’m without a mother or a sister, forced to fend for myself and make decisions I was never prepared to make.

Jakrob and Bedrel step forward, their hands reaching for their sides for some unseen weapon. The Clan Mother reaches out and curls her fingers around their calves, keeping them from actually harming me.

“I am not, and I can never be. You are correct,” she whispers as tears drop from her eyes to mix with sand. They dry before they even have time to mar the surface. “If you will allow me, I can be a surrogate. I can guide your way through these murky waters.”

Regret slithers through my chest as I watch her draw idly in the sand. “Forgive me, Clan Mother. I meant you no disrespect. I -.”

“No need to apologize, Karis. So much is changing in such a rapid time. If you were completely calm about all of this, I would be concerned about your mental stability.”

We both share a small smile as she leans back. “That being said,” she continues, “I cannot force you to give up your virtue. No one here will strap you down and make you give up any part of yourself. However, we all survive on the grace of the gods. If you’re found to not be compliant with our ways of sacrifice or duty, then I cannot keep them from ostracizing you.”

This time, it’s my turn to draw a mindless pattern in the sand. So much fills my brain that I cannot comprehend all of it. The one thing that stands out is the fact that I’m not an omega. To be an omega means Annora has lied to me since I was a child. That idea is unfathomable. Annora may be many things, but she’s not a liar.

“I’ll make you a deal.” My shaky voice splits the silence. “Prove to me I’m an omega, and I will go through with the ceremony. Fail to do so, and I will hold off until proof is shown.”

The Clan Mother looks over at Jakrob, her lips turned down into a frown. “Is this something you’re able to accomplish?”