Page 136 of Finding Storm

I just feel … sad.

Movement behind me has me turning around.

It’s Jake, Tom, and Denny.

“Hey,” I say to them, moving to rest my ass against the desk. “I was just coming to see you. I got … sidetracked. How’d you know I was in here?”

Jake smiles. “The room’s alarmed, and there’s a camera.” He tips his head up to the far corner, where I notice the security camera for the first time. “I get a notification when anyone comes in here. And the only people who come in here are the cleaners, every second Monday, and us sad fuckers when we’re drunk.” He refers to himself, Tom, and Denny.

“It’s true,” Tom says, grinning. “I haven’t been in this room sober since Jon died. Actually, I probably wasn’t even sober when I came in here when he was still alive.”

I laugh at that.

Then, my laughter dies, and we’re all just kind of standing here, saying nothing.

And since I texted them, asking to talk, I should probably be the first to speak.

“So …” I say. “I just wanted to apologize for what I said the other week—about you being as dead to me as Jonny is …” I feel weird, saying it in here, in Jonny’s office. “I didn’t mean it. I should never have said it. It was shitty and wrong of me. And I’m sorry for that. But I’m not sorry for the other stuff. You all lied to me, and you were wrong.”

“You’re right. We were.” Tom steps forward, coming a little closer to me.

“In our defense, we thought we were doing the right thing at the time,” Den says. “In the space of a few short months, you’d just found out that Jonny was your father, and your mother passed away. We didn’t want to give you more to deal with.”

“But,” Jake interjects, “we should have told you after things settled. We messed up. Really fucking messed up, and we’re sorry as all hell.”

“We are,” Tom adds. “And it’s no excuse, but as time went on, it just got harder and harder to tell you. We knew you’d be pissed that we’d kept the truth from you. And … I guess … we didn’t want to lose you.”

Fuck. I didn’t expect that.

My throat is burning.

And I know this isn’t anything they didn’t say to me two weeks ago, without the addition of them not wanting to lose me. But the difference now to then is, I’m not mad anymore.

“Okay.” I nod.

“So … we’re good?” Tom checks.

“We’re good.” I smile because, sometimes, it’s just that easy.

“Thank fuck for that.” Tom bounds over and bear-hugs me. “Missed you, kid.” He thumps me on the back with his fist.

“Missed you too,” I tell him, and I have. I just didn’t realize how much until now.

Den comes over and ruffles my hair. “Hasn’t been the same around here without you,” he tells me. “It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back,” I say, only half-meaning it. Because there’s a Stevie-shaped hole in my chest.

Tom finally releases me. I turn to Jake.

“You’re okay?” Jake asks.

“Yeah.” I smile. “I’m okay.”

He puts his arm around my neck and pulls me in for a hug. “We fucking love you, son. No matter what happens, don’t ever forget that, okay?”

“Okay,” I choke out.

I’m nearly in fucking tears.