Page 64 of Ruin

“Zeus, what’s going on?” I swallow nervously.

He clears his throat. “I’ve been thinking…and…well…I think we should spend some time apart.”

“Spend time apart?” I echo.

“Yes.”

I start to worry my bottom lip with my teeth. “I don’t understand.”

“Space, Cam,” he snaps. “I need space.”

My stomach bottoms out, and panic clutches at my throat. “But I hardly ever see you.”

“Exactly. I just think it would be better for us if we took a break.”

A break.

I’ve seen Friends. “The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break.” Ross screwed the copy machine girl in that episode.

I don’t want to take a break.

And the fact that he does is scaring the shit out of me.

“Zeus, are you…” I swallow what feels like a brick down my throat. “Are you breaking up with me?”

The silence that follows is agony.

“Yes.”

And the agony turns into a pain, the likes of which I’ve never known. I feel like my heart is being ripped in two.

Tears flood my eyes. I press the phone harder against my ear, needing to feel something, anything, but this agony he’s inflicting on me.

“Zeus, please…don’t do this. I know the long-distance thing has been hard—”

“We’ve seen each other three times in the last six months.”

“We saw each other last week!” I sob.

“For one night. That’s not a relationship.”

“Jesus, Zeus. Don’t do this. Please. I love you.” My pride has gone out the window.

This is Zeus. I’d do anything to keep him with me. He’s the love of my life. The only guy I’ve ever been with. A life without him just doesn’t seem feasible. In my mind, I’ve shaped my whole future around him.

Every single memory I’ve planned on making has him in it, and now, he’s telling me that he doesn’t want to be a part of that anymore.

He doesn’t want me anymore.

I can’t breathe. I feel like there’s a hand around my throat, choking me. His hand.

“Please, Zeus. We can make it work. I’ll fly out to England on the next flight. I’ve got some money on my credit card. We can talk and—”

“I don’t want you to come.”

It’s like he stuck a blade in my gut.

“You just want to throw the last four years away like they don’t matter?” I whisper, brushing tears from my cheeks.