Page 32 of Ruin

“Maybe wait until the fight is over.” I soften my tone. “Then, we’ll introduce you into her life.”

“No. I want to know my daughter now. I’ll postpone the fight if I have to.”

That does surprise me. But knowing he would do that for her makes me feel a little better about bringing him into her life.

“Won’t that cause you problems?” I ask.

“Let me worry about that. Marcel set up the fight. And, with the way things stand with him and me right now, he’s going to be lucky if he’s still breathing when I’m finished with him.”

“Okay, so you postpone the fight. It’ll still have to happen at some point. You’ll still be boxing. You’ll still be spending inordinate amounts of time away from Gigi when you’re training.”

“You want me to quit?”

“I’m not asking you to do anything.”

“Don’t shy away from the truth, Cam. It’s not you.”

“Like I said, I don’t want my daughter getting attached to you, only for you to disappear on her.” I know just how much it hurts, having Zeus in your life and for him to one day be gone.

The look he throws my way sears right through me. “I won’t disappear on her.”

“You said those exact words to me,” I toss back at him. “At the airport, the first time you left to go to the Olympics. ‘I’m not gonna disappear on you, Dove,’” I say, imitating his voice.

“Jesus, Cam. I know I screwed up big time with us. And I hate that I did. I can’t change that. But I can promise that I won’t screw up with Gigi. But you can’t ask me to quit boxing at the moment. I have to fight. I don’t have a choice.”

“Of course you don’t.” I laugh emptily. “Your bank account must’ve taken a hammering over the years with all the women you’ve been entertaining.”

Jesus, I’m bitter. I don’t know how many women there’s been since me. But, a week after Zeus broke up with me, he was photographed, shopping with some model. I figured it was the one he’d cheated on me with. And I took it as his message to me to stay away.

His gaze snaps to mine. Eyes wide and angry. “I’m okay for money. But I have a family to support. A brother and sister in college. And, now, I have my daughter’s future to secure. So, no, Cam, I can’t stop fighting right now. The Dimitrov fight will bring in big money. I have to do it.”

“And then you’re done?”

He looks at me and slowly shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“So, you want to come into my daughter’s life and just be there when you can be?”

“Cam—”

“Don’t Cam me. I know what it’s like when you’re training for a fight. It can take you away for months at a time.”

“You’re not being fair.”

“No, you’re not being fair. I won’t have you hurting my daughter, Zeus.”

“She’s my daughter, too! And I’ve missed four years of her life because you didn’t try hard enough to contact me!” he bellows so loud that, at first, it takes me aback, winds me. But then it incites me to levels of anger I didn’t know existed within me until now.

I get to my feet. “Fuck. You. Zeus. You cheated on me. You slept with another woman. You left me. You broke up with me over the phone. You didn’t even have the courtesy of saying it to my face. Then, you cut me off cold. Even blocked my e-mails, for fuck’s sake! How was I supposed to contact you? I couldn’t get near you to talk to you. I did the best I could. I spoke to the one person who did have access to you. It’s not my fault he’s a deceptive son of a bitch. What I did might not have been as good as what the almighty Zeus would have done, but I did what I could. And I have successfully raised my daughter for the past four years without you. I don’t need you. And Gigi sure as hell doesn’t.”

I know what I’m saying is shitty and wrong. But I want to hurt him in this moment, just like he hurt me.

“Cam. Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it…” He gets to his feet, eyes bright with panic, and reaches for me.

I step away from his reach and protectively fold my arms around my chest. “Yes, you did. And, now, it’s time for you to leave.”

“No, please. Cam.” He scrubs his hand over his head, fingers gripping the strands of hair. “I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t mean it, and you know I don’t. My head is just all over the place. I just found out I’ve got a daughter, for Christ’s sake. And I might not be thinking a hundred percent straight. But Gigi is my daughter, and I want to be a part of her life. I need to be a part of her life. And I swear to you and her that nothing will ever come in the way of my relationship with Gigi. I will never hurt her.”

I stare at Zeus, wavering between anger, anguish, and the knowledge that I can’t keep his daughter from him. It’s not who I am. It’s not in me to hurt someone that way. And keeping Gigi from him would only hurt her, and I will never hurt her.