Page 59 of Breaking Hollywood

Speedy is going to be the death of me. I swear it.

Gabe

“Baaahhh!”

“What?”

“Baaahhh! Baaahhh!”

I blink open my heavy eyes to see that fucking goat inches from my face, staring at me.

“Jesus fucking Christ. Go away, goat. I’m trying to sleep.” I shut my eyes, ignoring it.

“Baaahhh! Baaahhh! Baaahhh!”

“For fuck’s sake! You shouldn’t even be in here. Will you shut—ow!” My hand goes to my nose, my eyes flying open.

She fucking head-butted me!

The damn goat just head-butted me in the face.

“You little bitch,” I growl at her.

She rears back and tries to head-butt me again. I stop her with my hand pressed to her, but she won’t give up, pushing against my hand.

It’d be funny if I hadn’t just been head-butted in the face. I check my nose with my hand to make sure it’s not bleeding while simultaneously keeping the goat away with the other hand.

“Jesus, Gucci, will you knock it off?”

She backs off from my hand, and I think she got the message, but the little bitch hasn’t gotten the message at all.

She starts to back away, and I can see it in her eyes.

“Don’t you dare.” I point at her, warning her, as I sit myself up.

But does she listen?

Nope. The little bastard charges.

“Gucci!”

I try to catch her, but she manages to butt me in the arm.

“Fuck! Little fucker! Speedy! Get your ass in here! Your goat’s gone mental!”

Gucci is head-butting any part of my body that she can. I grab hold of her and try to stop her, but she’s a strong little fucker.

Moments later, Speedy comes bursting into my room, looking like she just leaped out of bed. “What’s going on? What are you doing to Gucci?”

“What am I doing? Stopping your goat from butting the hell out of me—that’s what I’m doing! She’s gone fucking mental! I woke up to a head-butt in the face, and now, she won’t stop butting me!”

“Gucci! Stop,” she says in a firm tone.

But she’s fighting laughter; I can tell.

At the sound of Speedy’s voice, the goat immediately stops fighting me. She wriggles free from me and trots over to Speedy, like nothing just happened.

Psycho goat.