Page 43 of Breaking Hollywood

“Okay.” I scratch my head. “I’ll rephrase. Why the fuck do you have a goat called Gucci?”

“Because I love Gucci clothes, and it fits her perfectly, don’t you think?”

“I don’t have a fucking clue!”

She frowns at me. “Don’t yell. You’ll scare her.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Wouldn’t want to scare the goat, now would we?”

“Baaahhh!”

Speedy covers the goat’s ears. “Stop it, Gabe. She doesn’t like loud noises.”

“Well, it doesn’t have any problem making them.”

“She’s a she, not an it. And she’s called Gucci.”

“You’re certifiable.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“I thought we’d already established that.”

“Baaahhh! Baaahhh!”

“Can’t you keep that thing quiet?” I frown.

She frowns back at me. “She’s not a thing, and you’ll hurt her feelings, saying that.”

“God forbid I hurt the goat’s feelings.”

She gives me a dirty look and walks over to her bag. She pulls out a bag of chopped up apples and proceeds to start feeding the goat.

I pull out one of the breakfast stools and rest my ass on it. “Where the hell did you get her from anyway?”

“A farm in Glendale.”

“And they just let you take her, knowing you lived in an apartment building?”

“Well, honestly, the guy didn’t seem that interested in where I lived. He was more interested in the money I was going to pay for her.”

“Asshole.”

“What?” she squeaks.

The goat jumps.

“Sorry, Gucci.” She puts the goat on the floor and continues intermittently handing apple slices to it.

“I meant, the guy who sold you the goat. Not you. Naive is more the word I’d use for you.”

“Hey! I am not naive!”

“Look, an apartment is hardly the place for a goat. It needs to be on a fucking farm, or it needs a garden at the very least. They’re outdoor animals. Not home-kept pets.”

“She’s not just a pet! She’s my family! And the only family I have around me at the moment! And I didn’t know when I got her that she needed a garden! I’m doing my best, okay? I can’t do any fucking more than that!”

That’s the first time I’ve heard her say fucking. Sounds kind of hot, coming from her sweet mouth. And it is until she does the thing I hate most.