Page 7 of Here We Go Again

“Of course not,” I agree. “So let’s not talk about it unless we know it’s going to happen for sure.”

“Right. Good plan,” Mia says. She takes another swig of my soda. “So, what’s up with you? How was your day?”

I breathe out a sigh. “Ugh. I don’t know.” I pause for a beat before adding, “I think I might need to break up with Rory?”

Her eyes widen. “Shut up. For real? Wait. Is that why you’re watching videos of your ex?”

“I wasn’t watching videos multiple,” I say. “It was one. One single video. And no, that didn’t have anything to do with Rory.”

“So what’s up, then?”

“I don’t even know. He texted to tell me he’s going to Tokyo for a while, and I felt … weirdly apathetic? Like, I didn’t even care that we won’t talk while he’s gone.”

“Did he say that?” Mia asks. “That you won’t talk? Phones still work in Tokyo.”

“Not explicitly,” I say. “But I think it was implied? And I didn’t even question. But I should have, right? I should want to know when I’ll hear from him and how we’ll sync up our schedules and when he’ll be home.”

“You should definitely want to know those things. Are you sure you don’t? Are you just missing him and feeling weird about the distance?”

“Maybe? I just kinda feel numb? Possibly even … relieved that we won’t be talking?”

Mia grimaces. “Relieved? Girl. That’s a bad sign.”

“I know! But like … our conversations have been so strained lately. Like we’re trying so hard to be normal, but it doesn’t feel normal. It just feels off.”

She frowns. “I’m sorry. That sucks.”

I lift an eyebrow, surprised by her relatively tame response. Mia isn’t exactly Rory’s biggest fan. “Really? You think it sucks that I might break up with Rory?”

“Oh, come on,” she says. “I know I give you grief about him, but that doesn’t mean I want you to break up.”

“You pretend to fall asleep whenever I mention his name,” I say, and she presses her lips together like she’s fighting a smile.

“I didn’t this time.”

“Because I told you I was thinking about ending things.”

“And I’m an excellent friend and that would have been rude,” Mia says. “But also, I do want you to be happy. And for all his…” She hesitates like she’s trying to find the right word. “Dryness,” she finally says, “Rory does seem to make you happy. Maybe you need to give it a couple of weeks? Let his trip to Tokyo be a litmus test for how it might feel if you did end things.”

I nod. “So I shouldn’t just … dump him right now via text?”

“You should not,” Mia says. “You’re an adult. That means no text breakups ever.”

I huff out a sigh. “I hate adulting.”

“You and me both,” Mia says. She leans over and taps my phone screen. “Now talk to me about this one video you mentioned. You sure it doesn’t mean anything? I thought you swore those off.”

“I did,” I say. “And it was totally an accident. It just popped up in my feed.”

“And you decided to watch,” Mia says.

“Entirely the fault of the billboard. Theo’s been popping into my brain all day.”

“Fair,” Mia says. “It’s some billboard.”

I turn on my phone and find the video, sliding it over for Mia to watch.

For any other high school relationship, it might be silly to give it this much attention. But my relationship with Theo was anything but typical. We were that couple. Deeply in love. Basically inseparable. We started dating at homecoming our junior year, and we never looked back. After that, if he wasn’t playing hockey, he was with me.