Page 104 of Here We Go Again

Maybe Theo does just need to sleep, and I’m reading too much into his sudden shift in mood. But I can’t shake the feeling that his agent upset him, and he’s not being open with me about why.

“I guess I’ll say goodnight, then,” I say as I step away from the bed. But I don’t make it far before Theo sits up and catches my arm, tugging me onto his lap. He wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my neck.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I promise it isn’t you. I’m just worried about the season.”

I lift my hands to his hair, gently running my fingernails over his scalp. “You know you can talk to me about it, yeah? I’ll always listen,” I say.

He tilts his head back, blue eyes almost black in the shadowy lamplight. “I don’t deserve you,” he says, but it feels less like a compliment and more like a deflection. Theo has a wall up. I can sense it under the surface, even if it isn’t explicitly obvious in his words. And I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about that.

I lean down and press a lingering kiss against his mouth. “Sure you do,” I say. “But even if you don’t, you’re stuck with me anyway.”

Our moms are booked on a much later flight, so Theo and I say goodbye to them at the beach house. Even though we leave at an ungodly hour, before the sun has even come up, they both get up to see us off, walking us out to the porch.

Mom gives me an enormous hug. “You’d better text your sisters on your way to the airport,” she says. “I won’t be able to keep this a secret once I’m home.”

I nod. “I’ll tell them. I promise.”

She gives my arms a little squeeze. “I’m happy for you, Becca. Just hold onto each other. All the details will work out.”

Kim hugs me next, delivering similar sentiments, and then we’re back in Theo’s fancy rental car, heading to the airport.

I stifle a yawn as I drop my head back against the seat.

“You should sleep,” Theo says, but I quickly shake my head.

“I want to keep you company.”

He chuckles. “She says with her eyes already closed…”

I smile. “It’s so stupid early.”

“Then sleep,” he says again. “I promise I’ll be fine.”

I’m sure he’s right, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I need to soak up every possible moment with Theo before we get back to Atlanta. It’s been surprisingly easy to set my worries aside and lean into the vacation aspect of this past week. But I know myself. I need a plan. We need a plan.

We’ve talked around the subject the past few days. Hinted that we’ll figure something out. That we obviously want to live in the same city. But it feels ridiculous to talk about concrete plans when everything is still so new.

At the same time, it feels even more ridiculous to imagine that a month from now, when my contract is up at Atlanta General, I might feel differently about Theo. So why not talk about it now?

Soon, the steady hum of the car lulls me to sleep with those thoughts circling my brain.

Some time later, Theo wakes me up, a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Hey,” he says softly. “We’re here.”

I blink awake and sit up, stretching as I look around the parking garage, surprised that I managed to sleep the whole way without waking up at all.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Theo says with a teasing grin. “Do you know you talk in your sleep?”

“Oh gosh,” I say through a yawn. “What did I say? Please tell me I didn’t embarrass myself.”

“Something about sponge counts?”

I huff out a laugh. “I must be excited to go back to work.”

“You mumbled a couple of other sentences too. One about a sterile field and then something else about staying in Atlanta.”

My gaze jumps to his. “I did not.”

“You totally did. Which, I’m just saying. I think your subconscious is pretty smart.”