Page 101 of Here We Go Again

“I can imagine. So, listen, I just want to put some thoughts out there, kinda let you know what I’m hearing, maybe give you the chance to weigh in when it’s still early enough for me to steer the conversation.”

My gut tightens, already unhappy with where this is going. “What conversation is that?”

“Nothing concrete,” Shawn says. “It’s just talk. Easy chatter, you know?”

“Shawn,” I say. I don’t need him to sugarcoat anything. I just need him to tell me what’s going on.

He breathes out a sigh. “You know Miles is almost done. Depending on how his surgery goes, he might make it back to play out the season, but last I heard, they aren’t even sure he’ll play again. Even if he does, his contract is up this year. All signs are pointing toward retirement.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Front office wants a powerhouse,” Shawn says. “Someone who can score like Miles could. Not a rookie. A seasoned player who can be the backbone of the team’s offense.”

“We just got Sanders,” I say.

“And he’s good,” Shawn says. “But he’s young. They want something more.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

He hesitates before finally saying, “To get the kind of asset they’re looking for, they’re going to have to give up something.” Another pause. “Something big.”

“No,” I say. I don’t even want to hear him suggest what I think he’s about to suggest. “I’m not interested.”

“Just give me a second,” Shawn says. “Try to think about this, all right? Your contract is up this year. I know you were hoping to extend, but if you’re willing to move, we’re talking another three, maybe four million. Ottawa needs defensemen, and they’ve got more cap space than anyone in the league.”

“I don’t want to play in Ottawa.”

“I can appreciate that. But you know it doesn’t always matter, man. If they’re already making noise about trading you, I just want to make sure we play our cards right since we’re coming up on free agency. We have to be thinking ahead.”

I drop onto the couch in the living room and switch Shawn over to speaker before setting the phone on the coffee table. The Scrabble game from earlier this afternoon is still set up. This time, I was the one who won by a narrow three points. It seems funny now that my last word was TURMOIL.

“I get it,” I say to Shawn. “I understand it’s part of the game. But I don’t want to be traded, and I don’t need more money. My priority is to stay with the team and stay with my brother. If they offered me an extension on my current contract, I’d take it.”

“You shouldn’t take it,” Shawn says. “You’re worth a lot more than that.”

“If it means staying, I don’t care.”

He’s quiet for a beat. “Okay. I hear you. That’s exactly what I thought you would say.”

“Then why did you even ask?”

I look up, momentarily distracted by the sounds filtering in from outside, and see Becca, head thrown back in laughter.

“Because it’s my job to ask,” Shawn says. “And because I don’t want you to be blindsided if I can’t stop this from happening.”

“Your job is to make sure this doesn’t happen,” I say. “Shawn. Come on. They want to split us up?” I know better than to take for granted the fact that Carter and I have always played on the same team. There’s never been any guarantee that we would. But the thought of it still fills me with a mild sense of panic.

“Jaguars defense is deep,” Shawn says. “But you can’t win games without a good offense. You know the balance here, man. It’s a numbers game.”

“Not to throw my brother under the bus here, but why me and not him?”

“He’s an alternate captain. And from an optics standpoint, trading a guy with a wife and local roots in the community looks worse than trading his single brother.”

I huff out a laugh. “Oh great. That’s…” My words trail off, mind reeling. Of all the things that could happen now. With Becca, my hand, and everything else. The last thing I need is the possibility of a trade looming over me.

“Listen, it’s just talk, all right?” Shawn says. “I’ll do what I can to get your name off the table.”

“And in the meantime?”