Page 55 of Rumor Has It

“A true classic.” Wren was delighted at the choice. She had never had anyone in her life who appreciated cringy sapphic movies, let alone someone who wanted to watch them with her. Wren warily eyed Rebecca’s laptop open on Rebecca’s bed.

“I won’t fall asleep,” Rebecca promised. “And you won’t get pizza sauce on my sheets.”

That made Wren huff out a laugh. This was a peace offering, an opportunity for them to go back to how things were before they had played against each other again. Before—Wren wasn’t going to let herself think about that right before getting under the covers with Rebecca.

“Deal then.” Wren circled around to the left side of the bed, not drawing attention to the fact that they absolutely had sides. “Please tell me you ordered one good pizza?”

“I did,” Rebecca said cheekily as she slid under the covers on the other side. “Oh, and I ordered you one, too.”

Wren could feel herself dozing off towards the end of the film. She should get up and shuffle to her own bed, but she didn’t want to. In all fairness, their whole evening had been completely innocent. The boxes of pizza and Rebecca’s laptop had been between them the entire time.

“I’m falling asleep,” she mumbled.

Rebecca reached up and paused the movie. “Okay. We can finish it another night.”

Wren nodded without bothering to open her eyes. “I should brush my teeth and move to my bed.”

She hummed softly when Rebecca’s fingertips gently tucked her hair back behind her ear. “You could stay,” Rebecca whispered, so soft Wren almost didn’t hear her.

“What?” Wren asked, her green eyes fluttering open.

Rebecca’s eyes watered as she swallowed back her emotions. “I understand the circumstances, Wren. And I respect your choice, I do. But…” she sighed, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. “Never mind. I can switch. You look really comfortable.”

“Wait,” Wren said, feeling suddenly much more awake. “What were you going to say?”

Rebecca tilted her head back, staring up at the ceiling. “That being with you, like this, it’s intoxicating. You make me feel more like myself than anyone in the world ever has. And I just,”—she paused again, thinking. “I’m not asking for anything. I don’t want us to do anything sexual. I just missed you this week, and all I’ve wanted to do all day is hug you.”

“I missed you, too,” Wren admitted.

“I’m sorry you felt like I ghosted you again,” Rebecca said, her voice watery.

Wren nodded. “I’m sorry I left the way I did.” Wren reached across the bed to squeeze Rebecca’s hand, her arm awkwardly hovering over the pizza boxes. “I’m sorry my circumstances aren’t different. Like, I wish I didn’t need this.”

Rebecca nodded. “I know. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.” She sighed heavily. “I guess I’m sorry for that, too.”

“Rebecca,”—Wren started, but she cut herself off, shaking her head. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”

“I know, Wren,” Rebecca whispered.

Wren could see her hazel eyes water. Or maybe it was her own, blurring her vision. “I just can’t.”

Rebecca nodded. “I know.”

They got ready for bed in a heavy silence. Grief settled over them, mourning something that had never even gotten the chance to exist in the first place. Rebecca was the first to slip back under the covers, but she turned her bedside lamp on so that Wren could get the rest of the lights in the room.

Wren slid into her own bed and let the silence of the room wash over her. She could hear every sound: from the AC, to the elevator chiming down at the end of the hall, to the sound of Rebecca breathing.

For half a crazy second, she considered getting up and giving in. Rebecca was so close—no more than three feet away. But she couldn’t. Because if she did, there’s no way she could stop herself from free falling.

“Goodnight, Wren,” Rebecca whispered.

Wren pulled her covers up higher, letting them serve as a reminder for her to stay in place. “Goodnight, Rebecca.”

CHAPTER

TWENTY-ONE

BECKY