Page 86 of City of Liars

I dropped my head. In the distance, waves crashed against the shore, but the beach was empty. No one else was dumb enough to be outside in this crappy weather. The first romantic gesture I’d ever tried to make, and it was a disaster. Why had I thought I could do this?

Liv slid closer to me. Her hand closed on the back of my neck, warm against the chill. “Theo?”

Bracing myself, I lifted my head.

She was an inch away from me, her eyes trained on my face. “You’re right. You’re awful at this.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I tugged at the cuffs of my jacket to straighten them, wishing my life was as easy to realign.

“What happened to all that ‘I’m only good for a one-night stand’ and ‘Dating isn’t my thing’ crap?” She tilted her head. “Oh, and how could I forget? ‘It was just fucking. Anything else between us is a lousy idea.’”

“I lied about the second part, okay? And as for the first, this terrifies the hell out of me. But I want it, if you do. I want everything with you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Chloe and I are a package deal, Theo. She already has one crappy father figure in her life. I’m not interested in another.”

“I get that, Liv. And I’m far from perfect. But one thing I’ve learned from all this is that none of us are. We just do our best, and hope it’ll be enough. So that’s what I’ll do. I’m sure I’ll fuck up, but I can promise you I won’t run. I’ll stick, and I’ll try to be a decent role model to your daughter. I’ll pick her up from school and show her how to make the only dish I know how to cook and go to every basketball game or dance recital or freaking underwater basket-weaving competition she decides to enter. And if you—if you—” I choked on the words, but somehow managed to get them out. “If you ever wanted...more...I would be willing to consider it.”

Shock washed over her face. “Who are you and what have you done with Theo?”

“I’m right here,” I told her, starting to get exasperated. “But Jesus Christ, if you don’t want me, just say so.”

Liv bit her lip. “You really hurt me.” Her voice cracked.

I felt like the biggest bastard in the world. “I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”

“And you’re not easy.”

I wanted to make a joke about how quickly she’d gotten me into bed—onto piano?—that first time, but even I knew that wouldn’t go over well. “I know.”

“You’re confusing as hell. And you’ve got the filthiest mouth imaginable.”

I ventured a smile. “I thought you liked my filthy mouth.”

She blinked at me, her eyes shiny with…were those tears? God, I sucked at this. “And you have an inappropriate sense of humor.”

I’d had enough. “Liv, if you’re just going to rake me over the coals, don’t bother. I can do that all by myself, while I’m not freezing my ass off.”

“You’re stubborn,” she went on, like I hadn’t spoken at all. “And infuriating. You think you have to fix everything yourself. And you have the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Now I was confused. “I thought we were insulting me.”

“It is an insult.” She folded her arms across her chest. “When you talk, especially when you sing, I can’t stay mad at you. All I want to do is ask you to kiss me and do things to me with your filthy mouth.”

Maybe I should have set this little confession to music. “And that’s a problem how?”

“It’s a problem,” she said, choosing each word with care, “because right now, when I should probably be telling you to go to hell, I want to tell you something else entirely.”

My heart had stopped speeding. Now it was thumping slowly, painfully, as if each beat was an effort. “Which would be what?”

She met my eyes. The sunlight glinted off the pendant that hung at the hollow of her throat, looking as exquisite against her pale skin as I’d imagined it would. “I accept your apology. I’ll treasure the necklace. And...I love you, too.”

For a moment I thought I’d heard her wrong. Then I knew I hadn’t. Still, I had to ask. “Are you sure?”

Tears glinting in her eyes, she nodded. “Don’t make me regret it.”

Something bizarre was happening in my chest. My heart wasn’t pounding or thudding. It ached, like it was cracking open. I pressed a hand to it, trying to make sure I wasn’t going to keel over right there in my own backyard.

Liv eyed me, looking dubious. “Are you okay?”