Page 47 of Two’s Better

“Who what?” I prodded with an eyebrow wiggle.

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “I don’t know. I just—they—we—” I didn’t think I’d ever seen her blush so hard. She had to pause to collect herself. “Not only had I initiated it, but it had also felt very ... me-focused.” At the admission, she looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. “Even the first time—the night of the housewarming—had felt very ...”

“Right.” I nodded. It seemed she wasn’t going to finish that sentence, but I got the gist of where it’d been going. “But they were the ones who initiated it the first time.”

“Yes.”

“And I’m assuming there was ... enthusiastic consent then, too.”

“Yes.” But it was said more grudgingly.

“And they’re not upset with you.”

“Not ... not that I know of.”

“Have they indicated that they are upset with you?”

She sighed heavily. “No, they have not.”

I gave her an amused look. “Are you perhaps ... overthinking things? Just a tad?”

“... Maybe.”

I huffed out a small laugh. I went back to stacking the dishes, and she automatically followed suit. I had so many questions, but I didn’t want to ask them when it seemed like she was still trying to figure things out herself. I also didn’t want to be nosy. Yes, I wanted her to know if the three of them ever decided to date, the rest of us wouldn’t judge them for it, but I didn’t know if that was something she actually wanted—or needed—to hear right now. I for sure didn’t want her to feel pressured, or turn whatever was happening between her, Tamara, and Ezra into something it wasn’t. Maybe it was strictly a sex thing, and maybe it wasn’t, and if she clearly wasn’t saying anything more about it, then that was my cue to mind my business.

“What about you?”

I jolted, nearly dropping the dish in my hand. “Huh? What?”

Fiona looked amused, though her gaze was piercing. “You good?”

I blinked rapidly, my heart thudding against my ribs. At first, I wanted to deny it, then I abruptly wanted to tell her everything. The desire was so fervent it stole my breath. Maybe an outside perspective was exactly what I needed. Maybe she’d talk some proper sense into me, tell me that I was indeed making a mistake—risking ruining a lifelong bond out of a selfish need I had barely even dared to address.

Fuck, but I was selfish. And if I told her, this thing I was feeling would start to feel too real. And I couldn’t risk it feeling any more real than it already was.

No, it was better to secretly let it run its course. Let it end without our friends being the wiser. It would be better for all of us that way. Less complicated.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asked gently.

I swallowed, looking down at the dish in my hands, unable to maintain eye contact. “I’m sure.”

Fiona let it go. She looked like she’d calmed down somewhat by the time the luncheon was over, which made me hope our little conversation had helped. I, on the other hand, hoped if I pretended hard enough that everything was fine, it would eventually come true.

We were in the middle of the bus ride back home when my father called. The sight of his name on the screen made me honestly feel like vomiting. I took a moment to quickly brace myself, then swiped to answer.

“Hello? Digwo, daddy.” I kept my voice low so as not to disturb the other passengers. I was sitting by the window seat on the very last row at the back. Fiona was between me and Bernice, who was sitting at the other window. She had her head pressed to it, her eyes lightly shut. Fiona was on her Kindle, though I didn’t think she was reading. She hadn’t touched the screen in a while.

“Vredo, vredo,” my father answered warmly. “How is my favourite daughter?”

“I’m your only daughter.”

He laughed at my usual response, retorting with his own, “Ehen? And how does that answer the question?”

Despite my nerves, I felt my lips twitch with amusement. “I’m fine, daddy. How’s everyone at home? I hope the boys aren’t giving you too much trouble.”

My father kissed his teeth, but it was playful. “You know how your brothers are. Always calling me for one thing or the other. I should’ve sent them down to Benin when I had the chance; it seems, even though they’re in the boarding house, because we are all here in the same Abuja, they see it as cause to disturb me.”