Page 72 of Love Unspoken

I was furious with myself for allowing Amias to get close to me. I knew this is what would happen. He'd blame me for how I was being treated. Like it was my fault.

As soon as we were in the Range Rover, I let loose of my heartache.

"Have you ever asked Nolan why he uses his sister? Ever asked him, hey, how come your sister had to move across the country to take care of your father? Ever asked him, hey, why isn't your sister here for a party? He's your friend."

Amias had the decency to look uncomfortable.

"How come you didn't tell Ann to shut up when she insinuated I was Magnus's babysitter, and Darren had to step in to do that?"

"Naya—"

"I did what I could to take care of people around me. It's not my fault my brother is a douchebag. He's still my brother. I can't help it that my sister-in-law is a moron chasing after being another version of Ann so she and her husband can fit into the elite society you're from. I'm not allowing anyone to use me; I'm choosing to be there for my nephew. I chose to be there for my father."

I was livid and couldn't seem to be able to keep my voice down. This hadn't happened since the accident when I used to get angry about how my life was ruined. I'd learned to keep my emotions in check but apparently, my buttons were pushed.

"And how is it my fault that my brother refuses to help with my father's medical bills? What am I supposed to do? How was I supposed to know that Nolan asked my father to mortgage his house which was paid for, so he didn't have to take a loan out for his MBA? I went to a state school because Nolan got to live his MIT and Harvard Business School dreams. How is that my fault?"

I crossed my arms and closed my eyes, feeling everything inside me scorch like I was once again trapped in a burning car, only this time, my heart was hurting as well as my body.

Amias hauled me over the console of the Range Rover while I spluttered angrily and settled me to straddle him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he hugged me.

"This is not comfortable." I tried to push him away, still furious with him, but he wouldn't let me go.

"I'm so sorry."

"You're just like him, you know. You ignored me and treated me so badly at work that Ethan had to run interference for me. Why did you do that? What had I ever done to you?" I was yelling again. I had no idea that I even had a dam that had suddenly burst, causing all my feelings to pour out.

"Naya, I'm so fucking sorry." He let me lean back against the steering wheel as he pushed buttons to move back his seat, so we had enough room for me to sit comfortably on top of him.

"Why did you do it?"

"Being irritated with you was a habit. A bad one. I'd been doing it for years because your open adoration made me uncomfortable."

"Why weren't you flattered instead?" I thumped him hard on his chest with a fist.

He captured my fist and brought it to his lips. He kissed my hand. The hand that had hurt him…or maybe not because he hadn't even winced while I'd used some force.

"Because Amias Westbrook would never be interested in a mousy girl whose eyes were always downcast. Because Amias Westbrook was too arrogant and self-involved to get to know the sweet girl who looked at him like he hung the moon. Because Amias Westbrook was a jackass."

He kissed my lips softly, coaxing me to open my mouth and let him in. I did, and he lingered just long enough to make me want more.

"Which Amias Westbrook am I with today?" I asked petulantly.

"The one who loves it that you got angry with me to speak your mind. The one who loves how a sleigh ride makes you so happy because it's time spent with me. The one who absolutely loves your cooking. That Yule log was something else, baby. The one who wants to make love with you."

So, that took all the air out of my temper balloon. I rested my forehead against his.

"I'm never like this. You're pushing buttons I didn't even know I had, Amias," I admitted.

"You're doing the same for me. You're evoking emotions I didn't think I was capable of feeling. You're making me want things I've never dreamed about. Can you leave the past behind and allow yourself to get to know me? Give me the pleasure of getting to know you?"

"And you really don't find my scars hideous?" How could he not?

I felt a smack on my ass, a hard one. "What was that?" I choked out.

"You call those scars anything but what they are—a testament to your strength, I will spank you. The more you do it, the harder I'll tan your ass."