Page 25 of Love Unspoken

"Let me help you." He came closer, and I stepped back, away from his touch and crashed into the cubicle wall. I didn't want to be close to Amias. I just didn't. I could smell him and his cologne; it was disconcerting, causing chaos inside me.

He looked horrified to see me all but crawl into the wall. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, staring at the beige carpet. There was a stain on it. I spilled coffee a month ago. The steamers would do their thing as they did once a quarter and the carpet would be all clean and nice soon enough, until I spilled my coffee again.

"Naya, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled. He'd touched me and it had been electric and overwhelming.

I wasn't big on subterfuge but mostly no one cared how I felt so no one ever asked. But he was asking, and I was feeling desperate enough to tell him, so he'd go back to his normal self, and I could go back to mine. His concern for me was tempting, except I knew he thought I was boring as fuck, had no curves, and had absolutely no fashion sense.

A part of me had wanted to get a makeover like they do on TV shows but a larger and stronger part of me wasn't going to change for someone else. If I wanted a makeover, I'd get one, but I didn't. I liked how I dressed. I liked who I was. It was hard won, this self-love, and I wasn't going to let Amias, or anyone interfere with the progress I'd made. I was still far, far away from allowing a man close enough to see me naked and maybe that would never happen but at least I didn't look at myself and just see scars anymore. I saw me. I saw Naya.

He pulled away and stuffed his hands in his pocket. "I apologize for touching you. That was inappropriate."

"Thank you again for the dinner." I wanted him gone before my emotions took over.

It used to happen from time to time with Darren in the beginning. I was always surprised that he was nice to me. Now, we were friends, and I accepted it, I appreciated it and him, but in the early days of our relationship the fact that someone cared about me besides my father was an emotional shock. I'd gotten used to being on my own. I was an introvert with few friends. After the accident and spending months in a burn unit, I'd become even more isolated. In college, I stayed a loner. I had acquaintances but no friends. Darren had been the exception as he'd known me since the accident and had never ever judged me or made me feel weak—he always allowed me to be myself.

"You should go home before it starts to sleet in earnest." He turned his back to me and walked out of the cubicle.

I sat down and took calming breaths.

TEN

AMIAS

I almost kissed her. I wanted to.

I was losing my mind. There was no other explanation for it.

"Maybe you've always been a little attracted to her and since she's not your type, you've been hostile," Hayes suggested when we met for a drink at the City Bar in Back Bay, and I told him that I almost kissed Nolan's kid sister.

"Bullshit."

"Okay. Explain your animosity toward her."

I shrugged, taking a sip of Scotch. "I can't."

Had I always been attracted to Naya? Did I watch her while she watched me? Did I hide how flattered I was by her attention with nonchalance and cruelty? Was I no better than Ann?

"And I think Ann notices," Hayes continued.

"What the fuck?"

"Yep. Why else do her claws come out whenever Naya is around?"

None of this made sense, especially how I was feeling about Naya.

"Do you think I'm so fucking shallow that I saw her that day in workout gear and finally admitted my attraction to her?" I wondered aloud.

"Yeah, you are that shallow," Hayes said seriously.

"With friends like you…." I flipped him a finger.

"Okay, tell me what do you like best about Ann?"

"I like how self-assured she is and how she carries herself. I like how good she is in bed. I like…what? Why are you looking at me like that?"