Page 131 of Love Unspoken

She took a deep breath. "I was married once before your grandfather. It didn't last long, but it taught me some hard lessons."

I stared at her, shocked. I'd never heard anything about a first marriage, not from her or anyone else in the family. "You were married before Grandpa?"

"Close your mouth, darling, before you eat a bug or two," she teased, and then her expression became pensive. "His name was Otis, and I married him because it was expected of me. Our families were close, and everyone thought we were the perfect match. But it wasn't love, Lucas. It was convenience. And it was a mistake."

She paused as if letting the memory settle before continuing. "He wasn't a bad man, but we weren't right for each other. The marriage was miserable. We hurt each other. It was an excruciating year. Finally, we divorced, and I was left with nothing but regret and the realization that I had let everyone but myself decide my future."

I didn't know what to say. This was a side of my grandmother I'd never seen, a vulnerability she'd never shown before. "I'm so sorry, Grandma."

She smiled a little sadly. "I'm not. The experience taught me an important lesson. Life is too short to live it for someone else. You have to follow your heart, even if it leads you down a path that others don't understand."

"And what if you don't know what you want?" I wondered.

"You know what you want, Lucas; you're just afraid to admit it because it goes against being a Covington. When your father married Patsy, I tried to tell him not to worry about mergers and acquisitions and to marry for love. But you know how business-minded he was. So, he married your mother, and that was another miserable marriage."

I shrugged. "At least they never fought."

"They lived separate lives," Grandma all but growled. "Calvin slept around and Patsy became one of those desperate housewives who spend their time gossiping and manipulating lives. You want to marry your mother?"

"Kath is nothing like Mama," I replied. "Kath has a career."

"Regardless of their employment status or hobbies, they are similar people." Grandma's stern voice could cut steel. "Don't fool yourself. If you love Kath, fine, marry her. But if you loved her, then you'd be head over heels wanting to marry her, not sitting here telling me that you can't stop thinking about Amara."

I groaned and dropped my face in my hands.

Grandma smacked the back of my head lightly. "Get your head out of your ass, Lucas."

I chuckled and looked up to see her annoyed eyes glaring at me.

"Are you so weak that you'll let family pressure you into marrying Kath?"

I arched an eyebrow. "Are you trying to get a rise out of me with the weak comment?"

She grinned. "Absolutely."

I draped an arm around her and leaned my forehead against her shoulder. "I fucked up. I knew Amara would never fit in, and when Mama told me about Kath, I spoke some bullshit."

"Amara heard you."

I nodded. "Yeah, and then I proceeded to take the coward's way out by letting her walk out of my life because stopping her meant that I had to turn against my family."

"And let's not forget your pride. You weren't going to beg Amara to stay."

I took a deep breath. She knew me well.

"And the same pride was assuaged that Kath wanted back in your life. Mercer had dumped her⁠—"

"She told me she left him."

Grandma gave out an unladylike snort. "He got his side piece pregnant and decided to marry her. Mercer and Kath lived together and got engaged, but he didn't marry her. That tells me he was never going to."

I wondered why Kath was with me; was it familial pressure? We started going out as kids after LPC acquired Bellamy Foods. I'm sure her father and mine thought it was the perfect arrangement. Maybe she realized that she didn't love me and left me for Mercer because she loved him. I remembered how angry Hugh had been with her for that.

"Do you think Kath is being pressured to marry me?"

"Kath? No. That girl is so selfish that she does whatever she wants without thought or care for anyone but herself."

"That's a rather harsh assessment."