Page 81 of Taken By Shadows

“We have that in common. The quiet, I mean.” I felt like I was tripping up when I spoke to him, either over lies or my own awkwardness.

“And now the company.” He smiled down at me.

I fought another blush.

For my sake, for the sake of getting out of here, I reminded myself of the role I had to play. Self-preservation was a powerful motive.

At my silence, Eryk pushed off the balcony wall and headed back into the embrace of the sultry soft lights of the library halls.

“I’ll be here. If you need me, come find me.”

His voice lingered even as he’d vanished into the stacks.

Chapter twenty-five

We had found little to nothing of any value. I had taken some time to look for more books on Aurora and Cloud Garden, but I had come across only a handful of the latter. They were a noble city with neutral diplomatic status. But I found the readings paled in comparison to the artist’s depictions of the hanging botanical monuments.

I had found no books on Aurora.

Part of me was curious about Kaed and the Crown’s role in the history that had shaped the Four Corners. I supposed I could have just asked him. But I wasn’t sure what answers I would get. If I’d get any at all, or just another mocking remark and a dangerously sharp smirk.

Gavrin had been more than happy to carry the “few” books Audrie had taken with her for extra reading. He had such a gentle undercurrent to him that I wasn’t sure he was aware people saw. I didn’t know if Audrie saw it, but I was certain he would carry the Four Corners for her if she asked.

I wondered if it would matter. What Gavrin seemed to feel for her. Audrie seemed oblivious to the sentinel’s obvious affection towards her.

My thoughts took me to a place I’d always avoided, but when I looked at Audrie, her youth, her vibrance. Her mortality. It hit me just how different Gavrin was to her. I didn’t know his age, but he was immortal. Or as close to immortal as beings could get. And there was no way to make someone immortal if they didn’t already possess the magic in their blood.

Gavrin was following his heart, and his heart would lead him only to pain. The grim truth was that Audrie would be lost to the dust of the world one day, and Gavrin would not. Not for a very long time.

The weight of that question had long hung around my neck. I’d been born fae, in part at least. But by all accounts, not the part that mattered.

I examined the fading mark on my hand where I’d grasped the bars of the cage. Fae blood was in me, but only enough to make me different. Not enough to make me special.

Each year I had continued to age, to mature. It never stopped. There were no wrinkles to show for my mundane heritage yet. No grey hairs, no aching bones.

But I couldn’t help living in fear that one day it would come for me.

Did Celeste feel that? As she gave her life to heal others? Did Kaed feel it when he unfurled his wings or when he let his shadows slip into this world? I didn’t see ageing on him the same way it showed on Celeste. Was that just because she’d spent her magic more?

Magic was an abyss I didn’t fully comprehend. To sacrifice myself for it was something I wasn’t sure I would do, even if it was something I could do. It wasn’t an unusual fear, the eternal end, I supposed. It was possibly the most human part of me.

I couldn’t untangle the emotional heap inside me that needed to belong before I was gone.

My finger ran over the spine of one of the books I’d brought with me—Myths and Legends of the Four Corners. Not exactly research. But my mind was tired.

I thought I’d leave Shadowfall and find an adventure like in one of my books. Adventure that would take me where I needed to be. To discover part of myself. Find what family I was missing. The part of me that made me different.

But all I’d found so far were musty books and complications.

I wasn’t sure if I should knock or not. For a moment, I stood foolishly, my hand hovering in the air.

There had been a note on my bed when I returned to my room after the steam of the bathing chamber.

“The study. Tonight.” It was signed “K” in elegant script.

Sometimes, I thought he was deliberately rude.

I had dressed in a long-sleeved dress of dark indigo with lotus silk skirts. With how rich and cool the fabric was around me, I felt I could blend into the night sky.