Page 122 of Taken By Shadows

Today, I would have bruises on my shins and forearms by the time we were done. Side blocks, overhead blocks. Blocking with my legs, my ankles. Over and over again. Learning to endure the pain of a blunt attack. Not every threat was a weapon glinting in the sunlight.

My bones stung, and my skin smarted.

“He’s avoiding me, isn’t he?” I finally asked when we took a break, both of us slumped against the wall of the training ground.

Denora didn’t deny it as she sat, eating another clementine segment in silence.

“Why, though?”

“I’m not sure I’m the person to explain why Kaedian does anything. He’s—”

“A stubborn ass?”

Denora nearly choked on her lunch. “Yes. Stubborn for sure. Unconventional. Definitely. But underneath that, there’s more.”

I chewed some crusty bread, waiting.

“Why do you think he hasn’t just left the city? He could have gone any time he wanted when things started going wrong before he was taken by the council at all. Why do you think he didn’t just kill those men at the docks? You’ve seen him kill before.”

“Because Gavrin stopped him,” I supplied.

Denora nodded. “And do you think Gav could really have stopped him if he wanted to do something?”

A bubble of laughter came to my lips. I realised then that she was waiting for a genuine answer. “Diplomacy?” I tried.

Denora snorted. “He’s never been good at that. But he does try.”

“What, then? Protecting his investment?” A little too much venom coated my words.

But Denora just frowned. “Losing … people … is difficult for him. He will do almost anything to avoid it.” She hid her eyes from me.

Cold ripples shifted inside of me until unease was the tide I waded through. “I can’t give him the faebane location.” I couldn’t look at Denora. Instead, I ripped the bread in my hand until it was in pieces. “I’m not running away. But I can’t give it to him. Not while I have another option. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. And I’ve seen what it can do to fae.” Kaed in the Cage flashed brightly in my mind. I could feel when his magic was coming to the surface, when it was testing its own bounds. And when he’d been in that cage, I could feel it being beaten back by the metal that held him. Feeling it, whatever it was, through the lens of Kaed’s pain had been something harrowing and hollowing. I couldn’t imagine having something so integral taken away. Losing a part of yourself, even briefly, sounded like torture. Not having magic of my own, at least I would never feel that loss in the moment.

I had only a faint memory of the same pain from the Cage bar that I’d grasped. He’d worn those faebane manacles for hours. Been inside the Cage for hours. Unable to escape the pain, forced to breathe barren air.

They had tortured him. Needlessly.

“I think he knows you won’t give up the faebane location. Not to him.” Denora’s olive eyes levelled at me. “I think he’s worried about who you might give it up to. Whether you want to or not.”

“Hart,” I breathed.

Denora gave a tight nod.

I’d heard so much and so little about his brother, about his family. By all accounts, they were morally bereft. Eryk had spilled the details of their past, their conquests. And if Kaed and Hart truly despised each other as much as Eryk insinuated, I couldn’t understand how they’d fought together on the battlefield. I couldn’t understand what had brought them to this future where they no longer recognised each other as brothers.

“Kaedian has lost a lot. And he’s learned to be stronger so that doesn’t happen again.” Denora fell silent as we sat for a moment. “He will do anything in his power to protect those he cares about.”

I tilted my head to Denora, a sardonic look on my face that I couldn’t wipe off. “He abducted me. I’m a complication he didn’t plan on.”

There was a long pause that hung in the air.

I heard my words echoed over and over. And they stung. Wanting to be more to someone was something buried deep inside me. It felt like a normal thing, to want to belong? Everyone wanted that.

“There is more to him than shadows and death,” Denora finally said.

I waited for more, but Denora seemed disinclined to offer anything further. But I needed more.

“What happened?”