Page 91 of His Choice

My mother nodded. “Just like every sport you thought you’d fail at. Just like the college selection you made. Just like quitting your secure job as a teacher to become a club owner. If you hadn’t taken those chances, Cliff, you wouldn’t have had the successes you had in school and later in your career. Maybe now it’s time to bet on love. What’s the worst that can happen —that it doesn’t work out? Then you move back here.”

“With my tail between my legs,” I muttered.

“You said that about every other risk, and it never happened. And if it does, do you think for one minute I or your friends would take joy in your disappointment? We’d be here to support you, just like we always have been. Then we’d figure out another way for you to find the man who’ll change your life for the better.”

“Mom, I’d be leaving…you,” I said. I choked up after the words escaped me. She was the woman who irritated me to no end but was always the first I turned to when I was troubled and who found a way to make me feel better. The person who pushed me every time I was scared…but seemed to know each time I’d be better for it. Now, she was doing it again.

Her eyes welled up with tears again. This time, she got out of the chair and knelt before me, pulling me into a hug.

“I know, darling. But maybe it’s time I learn to stand on my own two feet, huh?”

I appreciated how she tried to spare my dignity to make it about her loss instead of mine. Maybe she always had when I was vulnerable, and I was too selfish to have realized it. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“Mom, you’d be just fine. You’re much stronger than I’ve ever been. What will I do without you?”

She held my cheek. “Explore this thing with Brighton. That’s what. See if he can be the one who supports you when you need it—when you have doubts. I already know you’ll do that for him, just like you’ve always done for me and for your friends. And if he treats you well, then love him back…hard.”

I embraced her again. “I love you, Mom. So much. You do know that—don’t you?”

She nodded. “Yes, Cliff. I know everything.” I snorted a laugh. “Maybe with Brighton, you won’t feel compelled to get off reading those smutty gay romance books you hide on the bottom shelf.”

I pulled back in surprise. She smiled playfully. “I’m not hiding them! I just…”

My mother stood, ignoring me. “Of course, you won’t be rid of me that easily. I fully expect you to buy a residence in London that has a lovely room for my extended stays. See if you can find something in Kensington where Brighton resides…or some place in the old city. I don’t want to be in one of those hideous, gauche high-rises they seem fond of propagating all over their landscape.”

I chuckled. “I’ll do my best. Providing Brighton says yes, of course.”

“He will,” she assured me. “I know a stupid man when I see one. He’s not one of them. That Daryl, on the other hand. Kind of. With his looks, he could get someone nice if he’d just grow up.”

“He had a rough upbringing,” I explained. “Not all of us were lucky enough to have a mother like you.”

She smirked. “I must have really shamed you with that Reverend Jones comment. I don’t think you’ve complimented me this much since you tried convincing me to pay for you to get braces on your teeth.”

It reminded me of another sacrifice she had made. “Yeah. I’m trying to make up for lost time, Mom. And thank you for never beating me.”

My mother’s smile dropped. “As if I was serious. No child ever deserved that—especially you, darling. You’re not perfect, but you’re as close as anyone I’ve ever known. I’ll always be proud of you—my precious, sweet boy.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

She might have become uncomfortable with how mushy things had become. She crossed her arms and looked at me good-humoredly. “Of course, once you became an adult and mouthed off, I should have walloped your ass many, many times.”

Before I could respond, she cat-walked from the room like the queen she wa.

* * * *

It was time for the live finale, and the contestants stood before me—each dressed in the suit they had worn when I first met them. The only difference was Mikey had his arm in a sling. Aaron was next to him, as usual. Emilio hovered by my side, holding the envelope that had the name of the man I had chosen.

“It’s time for the decision we’ve all been waiting for,” Emilio said before the camera. “We’ve spent the last week following Cliff…on his journey to love.” I imagined giving Emilio a journey to the moon courtesy of my fist. “But who will he choose? So many hot men, so many incredible moments. Cliff, start off by speaking to each man who will not be lucky enough to date you going forward. Please hold off on the runner-up until he’s one of the final two standing.”

I hated this part. Although I didn’t think any of the men liked me enough to date me for who I am, other than Mikey and Brighton, it still felt hurtful to tell each person on television why I felt the same about them.

“Okay,” I replied, sweat beginning to bead on my forehead. I had just been powdered up, so I deduced I appeared as anxious as I felt. “Dani… I think you’re cute, playful, colorful and joyful. You’ll make someone a wonderful boyfriend one day. It’s just not me.” Dani’s face fell, and I almost wanted to change my mind on the spot just to make him smile. “It isn’t anything you’ve done wrong. Honestly, I think I’d be too dull and rigid to keep you happy.”

“The rigid part would make me happy,” he protested.

The other contestants snickered.

“Dani, I think you’d be a great asset working in one of my clubs—if you’re interested. Besides having a great boss, if I say so myself”—more chuckles—“there would be lots of men to meet. If you can see yourself living in New York or Boston, or even moving on my dime to LA, I will make room for you on my team. You don’t have to answer now…”