Page 82 of His Choice

* * * *

I was disappointed by the turn of events. Having doubts about Mikey’s and Aaron’s feelings for each other had reaffirmed where my head had already gone anyway—that Brighton was the best choice for me. Now, I wasn’t sure what to do.

Selfishly, I considered plowing ahead with Mikey as my selection, damned whatever the impact to Aaron. He’d had a long time where he could have professed his love for Mikey, if that was even the case.

If I were to choose nobody in the finale because of my suspicions about Aaron’s and Mikey’s feelings, I could be walking away from someone I really liked. Plus, without an explanation as to why I was passing on everyone, Mikey would be hurt and confused. Then again, that would be momentary. I could explain my reasoning to Mikey once the program ended. If I had made a mistake about what he and Aaron meant to each other, maybe he’d still give us a try. It seemed a better approach than choosing Mikey in the finale, then learning people’s worries about the pair were correct. I might not discover the truth until after I had fallen in love with Mikey, and that seemed like a terrible outcome.

I went back and forth, and I even considered choosing Brighton after all. Maybe he’d be okay with a long-distance relationship. There were times I needed to travel to London for business. But Brighton hadn’t suggested that type of setup, and it made me believe he wouldn’t want a part-time boyfriend.

“Cliff, may I speak with you?”

I turned my head to see Ted standing in the doorway of my office.

“Sure, come in,” I invited. I could only imagine more bad news awaited.

Ted sat in the chair next to mine, appearing quite nervous. He wrung his hands, then cracked his knuckles.

“I have something to confess,” he began.

I held up my hand to stop him. “It’s okay, Ted. I already figured it out.”

“You… How?” he wondered.

I chuckled. “It was obvious. You don’t have a gay bone or inclination in your body.”

His jaw dropped. “I… Wait, you think I’m straight?”

“Well, yeah.”

Ted’s eyes widened. “I’m not straight. I’m just…inexperienced. I came out only a couple of months ago. Gosh, I guess I’ve tried for so many years to pass as straight, I’ve become too good at it.”

“Wait a minute. Is this a joke? Ted, I wasn’t going to choose you tomorrow, so you don’t need to play a game in hopes to cover for your missteps.” It was bad enough that he had tried to trick me all week, but then to double down on it at the last minute with hopes of making a fool of me during the finale was too much.

Instead of becoming defensive, he sighed with relief. “I didn’t think you were going to choose me, but I worried there was an outside chance you might. You seemed to like me well enough in the beginning.”

I was confused. “I did… I still do! You seem like a nice guy. There’s no doubt you’re great looking and we share some interests—except I didn’t think one of those commonalities was an attraction to men.”

Ted’s serious countenance broke, and he chuckled. “Wrong. We have that in common, too.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand. You claim you’re inexperienced and just came out, but your friend… Hank, was it? He said you’re always talking about…dick.” Ted’s eyes bulged. “Yeah. Dick, dick, dick! I think he said it more times than I’ve seen one. He even said you enjoy…” I wiped a hand over my face, almost too embarrassed to repeat it to someone so new to the scene. “Getting spit-roasted.”

Ted appeared puzzled. “Forgive the newbie. What does that mean?”

“You probably know what it is from seeing gay porn, but just didn’t know what it’s sometimes called.”

Ted frowned. “Well, I’m not even so sure about that. I’ve watched some…stuff, but not often. I room with a couple of straight guys. They’re still trying to accept that I’m not going through a phase. They sure as heck don’t want to come back to the house and catch me watching two dudes getting down with each other.”

“Yeah, then imagine if it were three dudes. That’s what it takes for a spit-roast.”

He pursed his lips. “I take it it isn’t a trio enjoying Hawaiian barbecue.”

“It isn’t,” I replied. “By the way, your buddy Hank seemed to know what it was. Maybe he isn’t as straight as you think.”

“Jesus. I can’t imagine that,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “Okay, come on. Now you’ve got to tell me what the hell it is. Will I be grossed out?”

I shrugged. “Depends what you’re into. I’ve never done it, but…” He stared, still waiting for a description. “It’s when a guy performs oral on another while taking it up the ass from behind.”

Ted’s eyebrows practically rose to his hairline. “Ah…that’s…making the phrase make some sense. Can’t say I’ve ever fantasized about that, seeing as I won’t do intercourse, period. Nasty.” Ted saw my surprised expression, then held up a hand. “No offense. I suspected you might be into it. You give off that energy. You know…the one who sticks it in…not the other way around.”