Page 53 of His Choice

“And you evaded him again this morning,” I pointed out.

“Yeah.” He fidgeted with the hoodie zipper. “I got up early, showered, and went downstairs. I thought he might like having me out of his face for the day.”

I patted his arm, so he’d return eye contact. “He doesn’t look like a man who’s enjoying himself.”

Aaron cast his eyes back down. “I fucked up.”

“By repeating Daryl’s claim about why people get chosen for the first date on these types of shows?”

He nodded. “Repeating it, believing it and worst of all, being relieved by it.”

“Why would you be pleased by the idea that I wasn’t interested in Mikey?”

Aaron shrugged. “Don’t know.”

Having taught for a few years, I was used to that response when I challenged students about their behavior. It still surprised me how often adults defaulted to the same claim rather than fess up.

“A couple of nights ago, you told me that you came on the show to help Mikey succeed. What happened?”

He continued to fidget, picking at a loose thread on his shorts. “I do want him to win.”

“Aaron, I’m confused. And I’m sure you can understand why your mixed messages must be messing with Mikey’s head, too.” He nodded. “Look, let me eliminate whatever misunderstanding you have first. I like Mikey. I don’t know him well yet, but I size up people quickly after years of teaching and catering to clients. The guy is sweet and genuine. I didn’t choose him last night for any reason other than I’m interested in him, and I still am after having spent time with him.”

Aaron pursed his lips, still staring down at his lap. “Okay. That’s good.”

“Your turn. Why are you bouncing back and forth about wanting Mikey to be selected? Even now, your expressions aren’t matching your words.”

He sighed, leaning his head back against the seat. “I want him to be happy. That hasn’t changed. I feel guilty for having pushed him into doing the show. Last night, he went all in, and he could end up getting hurt.”

“I don’t want that for him either,” I replied. “But, Aaron, I don’t think he’d be devastated if I choose someone else. It wouldn’t be like I’m ending a long-term relationship with him. Even if I do select him, there’s no guarantee it will last. We’d still be getting to know each other, and we could end up deciding we aren’t the best match. This is what I do know. I want him in my life as my friend, regardless of the show’s outcome. He lives right in town, so there’s no reason he shouldn’t be. The same goes for you and me.”

He ran a hand through his impossibly pretty hair. “Thanks.”

“I believe you that you’d be happy for him if he’s selected. You care about him. That’s obvious. But you still haven’t answered my question as to why you would have been relieved if I wasn’t interested,” I pointed out.

He shrugged. “Just being stupid, I guess.”

I squeezed his shoulder. “Tell me, Aaron. I won’t repeat it. I just want to understand so I can help. It wouldn’t make me or Mikey happy if he and I got together, but it leaves you miserable about it.”

Aaron exhaled, then looked out of the window. There were a few citizens who had figured out who was on the bus, and they were waving at the windows.

“Since meeting him, it seems he needs me, you know? He isn’t very confident. Which is nuts, as you know, ’cause he’s like the greatest person I think I’ve ever met. There’s this wall of pessimism that hides his loving nature. He’s patient, smart, considerate and, believe it or not, kind of funny. Yet he makes me feel like I’m all that. Go figure.”

“And if I chose him, you’re worried he wouldn’t need you anymore?” I asked.

Aaron half-shrugged. “He wouldn’t. And I should be happy for him that he wouldn’t. What kind of shitty person does that make me that I would want him to need me?” He shook his head. “No, I’m good with you and him getting together. I mean it.”

I paused. Aaron was torn. He wanted what was best for his friend, but a part of him wished that was him. “You know, it seems to me that you need Mikey, too.”

He flinched. “I’d be fine if I don’t get to see him as often.”

I massaged his shoulder once again. “That wouldn’t ever happen because of me, Aaron. Sooner or later, each of you would find someone else, whether I was in the picture or not. I hope that whomever you guys end up with respects your friendship. You two have something special, and it would be selfish for your future partners to place boundaries on you. If it is me who ends up with Mikey, I promise you that I will encourage him to stay close to you. Great friends are important. I wouldn’t want him to stop me from spending time with my buddies.”

For the first time since I sat down, his expression brightened. “I’m sorry I accused you of using Mikey last night. I see why he’s so into you already.”

I shot him a smile. “And I can see why you mean so much to him. You and I are not enemies, Aaron.”

“Please tell me you are with Daryl, though.” Aaron had a mischievous half-smile.