Page 4 of His Choice

“What if she isn’t interested like that? I’m just going to announce that I’m gay after she hands me my coffee? She’d be like, ‘why should I care?’” I shook my head as I envisioned the scenario. “I think I’ll refrain from publicly humiliating myself.”

Aaron chuckled. “If you don’t like to embarrass yourself in public, why did you wear a Shawn Mendes T-shirt to a Killers concert?”

I had accompanied Aaron to see the group when they’d played in Burlington a month earlier, and my roommate hadn’t let me forget about my choice of clothing since.

“I got a compliment from one of the other people in the audience,” I reminded him.

“Bro, she was ten,” Aaron replied before gulping more of his coffee. I watched him, thinking how lucky he was to be so handsome and sexy. He could play a surfer dude in a beach-themed movie…one where all the girls hyperventilated when they saw him in a bathing suit jogging in slow motion.

When he had first shown up at my doorstep in response to my ad seeking an apartment roommate, my reaction was to refuse immediately. I feared I’d be tempted to stare at someone so hot once they were living in my space. But Aaron had been so affable, and he had been struggling to find a place he could afford. Like me, he was a recent Burlington College graduate from out-of-state. We had both decided to stay in Vermont when we’d landed jobs at the local tech firm. It was another reason I had been reluctant to turn him away. Doing so would have made for an awkward situation if I later ran into him at the office complex. Therefore, I had agreed to put him on the lease. The ad I had placed clearly disclosed I was a gay man, so he couldn’t become angry with me if I shot an appreciative glance his way now and then.

“That girl at the concert never told us her age,” I reminded Aaron.

Aaron smirked. “Yeah, I added a couple of years to what I think she really was to make you feel better.”

I flushed but laughed. His put-downs were never cruel. They were said to make me chuckle, not feel bad. He was always about having a good time. That was where he and I were different. His extroverted personality had attracted many friends in the area who invited him to parties, played sports with him, or hung out in our living room watching television. I, on the other hand, found excuses to decline his invites to tag along. I preferred to read a book in my room. The Killers concert had been an exception because I loved their music. Aaron wasn’t as big of a fan, but he had been intent on getting me out of the house and having fun.

He was a sweetheart in so many ways. There were times the night of the show that had felt like a date, as Aaron had gone out of his way to make everything about the experience perfect. Even when I had left him to use the restroom, he had purchased a hat with The Killers logo for me from one of the merchandise booths. It hadn’t been the first time I’d had to remind myself the guy was off limits and that I couldn’t behave like a swooning schoolgirl.

“Hey, guess what I saw this morning on my jog?” Aaron prodded.

“Is that rhetorical?” I wondered.

He snickered. “What do you think? I don’t want to sit here all day while you reply with one dumb thing after another. When I passed by Central Diner, there was a sign in the window. Looks like the guy you’ve been crushing on will be doing that dating program like everyone in White Pines has been hoping.”

Cliff Walker. The one man in the area that I knew to be gay, available, and who had recently moved into my brain and continued to live there rent-free. I had witnessed him speak at a fundraising event for the local library, and that had been it. His striking good looks, muscular build, deep voice, and commanding presence had me entertaining thoughts that had nothing to do with browsing the aisles for a book to borrow. Now, whenever I saw him around town, I watched him like a pathetic groupie. Aaron had been with me one of those times, noticed my distraction and the focus of my gaze, then tormented me about it since.

“Oh? Uh, he said yes, then,” I stammered, stating the obvious. “Yeah, folks in White Pines must be happy about that.”

Aaron made a disgustingly loud slurp through his straw, draining the last of his iced coffee and intaking air as well. He was as cute as a Labrador puppy, where even annoying habits were easy to overlook.

“Sure,” he replied before leaning into my space again and intentionally tormenting me with a loud belch in my ear. I backed away from him with a scowl.

“Stop it!”

He ignored me. “You realize this means your man will be coming off the market.”

I let loose a guffaw. My man. Cliff Walker wouldn’t even notice my existence if I climbed into bed with him. That brought the image to mind, though, forcing me to refocus. “Yeah, like I would ever have a chance with him anyway. Maybe seeing him hook up with someone else will be good. I can stop thinking about him.” I turned my head to look at Aaron, and he was observing my expressions. He didn’t often discuss topics of substance, but he was no dummy. Besides his excellent grades from school and an engineering role at the firm, he could read a room—and me—better than anyone I knew. That was as discomforting as it was occasionally helpful.

“It’s easier to lose out than put yourself out there, huh?” he questioned.

“What? I… I’m just being realistic,” I protested. “I’m not in his league.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Here we go.”

“What?” I pushed.

His face became serious. “I hate that you think so little of yourself. You have a lot to offer, man.”

I snickered. “Right.”

“Yeah, right,” he said, disregarding my sarcasm. “Come on. Are you going to make me give you my pep speech again? You know, the one where I tell you that you’re intelligent, nice, and yes…cute. Bro, a guy doesn’t need to be into dudes to see you’d be great for someone. Even for your dream guy.”

I looked away. “You’re looking through a ‘friendship lens,’ not from the perspective of someone who wants to…you know.”

“Is that your way of trying to manipulate me into sleeping with you? Making me feel like it’s the only way to prove my point?” He snickered, so I knew he wasn’t serious.

I felt compelled to protest all the same. “No!”