Page 19 of Saved By the Pitcher

“You might have what?” James exploded. “Billy, what the fuck? Why do you keep putting your nose in my business? And why would you have said that?”

Billy crouched like he was afraid he’d be punched, even though he knew James would never hurt him. “I was trying to be helpful.”

James dragged a hand through his hair multiple times, then looked down at the space between his knees. He stayed silent for several moments before speaking. “Okay, Billy. I’ve taken a few deep breaths. Now, tell me how you thought that was helping me.”

Billy’s voice was small at his side. “I told him that you were afraid of relationships, and that if you two got together too fast, that might be the end of it. I told him the two of you should get to know each other better first.”

James continued looking down and away from Billy, not responding for a moment. “And you thought that was your place to say that to him?”

“I’m sorry, James. I just hate that you’re alone. He seems like a nice guy, and you mentioned you might like something more with him,” Billy explained, his voice cracking along the way.

James sighed. “Why do you keep meddling?”

Billy projected a bit louder now. “Because I care about you, dammit! You seem hell-bent on punishing yourself for what Father did to your boyfriend—what he did to Daniel wasn’t your fault!”

“Stop interfering!”

“No!” Billy shot back. “Did you stop interfering when Father ordered me to stop dating Nadia? When he cut me off from everything but tuition, you jumped in to cover what I couldn’t.”

“That’s different,” James protested.

“It’s not,” Billy shot back. “Listen, you thought I was wrong to tell Mike that you were into him when you were a teenager, but it opened the door to you getting a date with him. Maybe, just maybe, I have some idea how to help you.”

James resumed mauling his hair. “You sound like Maria.”

Billy smirked. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Maria is never wrong on these things, and she thinks Mike is the one for you.”

James stared at his brother with disbelief. “What? When did she say that? She hasn’t even seen him since the night he met us.”

“When I told her you and Mike were going to the Yankees game. She said, ‘good, he’s the one for puppy’.”

“I love her, but she’s nuts.” James scowled.

“She is not,” Billy defended. “And she loves you. I love you. Nadia loves you. We just want to see you happy, James.”

“Well, your help doesn’t seem to have left Mike too enamored with me,” James spat. “You as much as told him I sleep around and dump people right after. Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from him. He might think I’m a sleazebag.” When Billy didn’t respond, James shot him a look. “What? Is that what you think of me?”

“I don’t think you’re a sleazebag,” Billy responded.

James couldn’t hide the hurt in his eyes. “I sleep around because it gets lonely.”

Billy reached a hand back to James’ shoulder. “I know. That’s what I’m saying. You deserve to have someone love you, the way Nadia loves me.”

James took one more grip on his now ruined hairstyle, pushing it back until it was sticking up. “Well, thanks. You meant well. I think it may have ended differently than you expected.”

“Call him,” Billy implored.

“If he wanted to talk to me, he would have called me. The ball was in his court,” James asserted.

Billy nodded. “Okay, James. I won’t butt in again.”

James was about to respond that it didn’t matter, as there was nothing to butt in about, but thought better of it. He could see that Billy felt bad enough already about what happened.

Billy rose from the sofa, grabbed his coat off its arm then started walking toward the door. He turned to say something to James, but seemed to realize there was nothing more that could be said, so he walked out the door with his head hanging.

James felt even worse than he had before arriving home. What a poor role model he must be for his brother that Billy believed he needed to help him. It made James sadder to think how he had then emotionally pummeled Billy for his good-hearted attempts.

He stripped down to his boxer briefs and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. James sighed when he saw his hair. It was long enough to do crazy things if someone messed with it, and it looked a bit too much like Einstein for his taste. Even though he was going to bed, he took out a brush and tamed the follicles back to the style he’d sported for several years. He took one last glance in the mirror, thinking he didn’t look half bad and how pathetic it was that he was wasting his best years. He knew there would come a time when the Mikes of the world wouldn’t give him a second glance, and he’d be alone with no promise of a relationship.