Page 17 of Brought By the Storm

My mother frowned and looked at her clasped hands. “I hurt him. The same way I thought you, and your role in the government and in our family, might wound Stefan one day. I thought he could turn his back on you. When your father was president, Charles used his position with a prominent paper to write harsh editorials about him and me—letting everyone know that we supported gays but didn’t have the courage to do so in public. Of course, he was correct, but your father denied it, which just made the gulf between Charles and us wider. Both sides forgot that we once cared for each other, and I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that.”

I nodded because I wasn’t sure she was wrong. “I didn’t know that was happening. I shied away from Father’s presidency and the associated media. I never thought I’d one day take up the baton, and I never thought I’d discover my best friend is gay. At least with Stefan, we sustained our bond. Now, I can support him in whatever he chooses.”

She nodded and smiled a bit. “That shouldn’t be difficult in today’s more open-minded society. He’s not a public figure, and people will understand your loyalty to a longtime friend. Eric, though, might be a harder pill for people to swallow.”

“I beg your pardon, Mother? What about Eric?”

She turned to face me. “You are doing a marvelous job of fooling yourself about the men around you. Maybe it’s being your mother, but I’ve never had a problem reading you. I knew before you did which girls you liked, and I’ve never seen you quite as undone as you seem to be around this young man.”

“Mother…”

She cut me off. “Carrington, if you want to lie to me, then you can tell me as the president of our country that you deny my allegations and order me never to speak of them again. But as my son, don’t lie to me. And for heaven’s sake, don’t lie to yourself.”

I looked down at my lap, as if some magic words might be written there. I didn’t know what to say. “I’m confused. I’ve never felt this way about a man before. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

She let out a loud exhale. “Darling, as I said, I haven’t seen you act this way around anyone before—man or woman. The way you were with him last night whilst preparing the meal, and all through dinner—it was like you had a warm light around you. I’ve never seen you so enthralled and eager to impress. If he was just another in a line of interests, I would tell you to put the country first and forget about him, you’ll meet a nice girl one day and all that rubbish. After all, you’re already facing a credible death threat from far-right extremists, and falling for a man would make things more precarious.”

I studied her pained expression. “I feel there’s a but in there…”

She looked as though she might cry, something I hadn’t seen her do since my father had died. “But you’re my child. You may be the most powerful man in our country, but you’ll always be my boy. And a mother’s greatest wish is to see her child happy. I can’t tell you what will bring you contentment. But I’ll support you, whatever it is.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know if it’s this. We don’t know each other that well, do we? I can’t stop thinking about him, though. It’s like this man is becoming all-consuming and I hate him for it.”

She laughed. “My dear, I know you don’t hate him. And from what I’ve seen from him, he likes you, too. Have you noticed the adorable way he looks at you? Those blushing cheeks and that cute way he gulps when he’s in your presence. I just want to squeeze him!”

I looked at her in shock, causing her to chuckle. I then snickered in return. “Well, join the club. At least the people of Yastarus won’t turn on you for doing it.”

She paused for a moment. “Carrington, I think you’re too confused to leave things unresolved. You’ll always wonder. I’m not saying he’s your true love. You may find you don’t even like being physical with a man. You never have been, have you?”

This wasn’t the conversation I wanted with my mother. “Good Lord! Mother, please. No, I haven’t, but I don’t wish to speak with you about sexual relations.”

She nodded, sparing me additional misery. “I understand, but you need to talk to him or seek advice from Stefan. Figure out what you want. I’m sure Stefan will be discreet about you and Eric if you want to see where this takes you. Eric could come to Yastarus to visit. What you do or don’t do with him in private will be your business. But you could see if your heart wants him.”

“And if it does? What then? I’m the president,” I mumbled.

“For another two years,” she reminded me. “You didn’t want to be president. You did it for your father’s memory. Don’t run for re-election, regardless of what happens with Eric. Follow your bliss, Carrington.”

We sat silent for a while, and I felt appreciation for having a mother who was willing to risk our family reputation for my happiness. “I know I said I didn’t want to discuss sexual relations, but if I ended up with him, then it would be sexual. Would you be able to look at me and him and still love me, knowing…that?”

She put a hand to the side of my face. “I would love you no matter what. And mothers don’t think about their kids having sexual relations, regardless of their orientation. It’s one of those things our brains are programmed to block, just as yours no doubt blocked you from thinking about me and your father.”

“Yuck,” I whispered, which elicited a laugh from her.

“You see. Programmed. That’s why tonight, I will be sound asleep when you’re in bed with him. Fancy little maneuver on your part to make that happen, I might add.”

“Excuse me? I didn’t do that to have sex with that man. I’m not ready for that,” I exclaimed, though the thought had crossed my mind once Eric had agreed to the arrangement.

“Very well,” she conceded. “But if and when you are, be careful. I hope you’ll be safe.”

“Mother, I’m thirty-six years old,” I complained, knowing I was blushing.

She rose from the chair and put a hand on my shoulder. “I meant protect your heart…and his. I’m guessing he’s a bit of a novice in this department as well. He strikes me as too shy to be a Romeo. Be kind to each other, whatever happens, and you’ll end in a good place.”

Just when I thought she had ended the conversation with sweet words, she had to ruin it. Walking away, she added, “Maybe take some water out to the boys. I know you’ve been straining to get a better look at your soaking wet man.”

I put my head in my hands and moaned, which was followed by her laughing as she exited the room.

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