Page 30 of The Devil’s Feather

Annie squeaked in outrage. He was right, but I wouldn’t add fuel to this fire, no matter how much she’d brought it on herself. Deandra was all too ready to egg him on.

I scooted over to Rafael’s side and threaded my arm through his, tugging ineffectually. “Oookay, that will be quite enough of that. This is definitely not how I envisioned this introduction going.”

Rafael refused to budge, and I certainly couldn’t budge him. “Oh no. You said I do not know enough about you. How could I relinquish this opportunity?” He gestured to my friends. “Tell me all her dark secrets. Which boyfriend of hers did you like the most and why? Who was the worst? What is her type? What is her most obnoxious habit? Is she a spendthrift or a saver? Is she allergic to cats? Does she have any children or criminal history I need to know about?” He grinned at me. “Where was she on January 6th?”

Dee let out a bark of laughter, and Annie giggled nervously.

“We watched Jan 6 together on TV. You’re all clear.” Deandra wiped her eyes. “Whew, where did you say you found him?”

I smacked Rafael’s shoulder. “You’re a dick.” But I let him drag me onto his lap. “Come on now. I’m white, but I’m not that white.”

“I told you when we met I am a bastard.” He kissed me on the cheek. “And I am just protecting myself. You white chicks are dangerous. I usually avoid your kind, but you bewitched me with your little dance. Or my ego ensnared me. Either way, here we are.”

I stuck my bottom lip out. He chuckled under his breath and pushed my lip back in.

“So far, I like you the most out of all her feral strays,” Deandra volunteered. “You’re quick, and I haven’t seen her this flustered in…damn…never, really. Not even in college. Are you two official already?”

“Elaine is my soulmate.” He stared longingly into my eyes. How much of this was him messing with me, and how much was serious? “She does not know it yet, but she is.”

Annie thawed. “That is so romantic, oh my god.” Trust her to fall for the worst lines. Even if they did secretly make me twitterpated.

“For an axe murderer, that’s pretty fucking cute,” Dee agreed.

“Why is it always axes? So gauche. And look how cruel Elaine is. Refuses to even elope with me.” Rafael nuzzled my hair. “I am teasing you,” he whispered in my ear. “I will stop if you are truly uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine,” I whispered back. Mostly.

Deandra’s long nails clicked on the table. “Elaine’s type is ‘funny asshole who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else’, so I’d say you have that nailed. God save her if you’re also a sad boy. It’s like her catnip. You musicians do tend to run angsty.”

I pinched him under the table, and he breathed a voiceless laugh into my hair.

Dee didn’t notice, or pretended not to. She turned her sharp eyes on me. “You should have been a therapist. At least then you’d get paid for putting up with men’s bullshit.”

Rafael gave me a triumphant smile. “I told you letting me pay for your hair color was a good idea.”

“Yes! Let him pay.” Deandra slapped the table, and Annie jumped. “Take all his money, for feminism! Her last ex was a serial cheater who cried harder than she did every time he got busted. You’d better not be a cheating piece of shit too. I might only come up to your knee, but I’ll bite kneecaps if I have to.”

My composer huffed. “I do not like people enough to entertain more than one at a time. How tedious.” He gave me a meaningful look, and though he’d said as much before, in that moment I knew he was speaking the truth. A fearful little knot loosened in my chest. “Sounds like I would enjoy kicking the shit out of this ex-cheater.” Given how his muscles rippled with anticipation, he meant that as well.

Annie tittered. “Can you imagine the look on David’s face if this guy waltzed into his living room? You don’t listen to podcasts too, do you?”

“Absolutely not. I hear enough ignorant bullshit on a daily basis.” Rafael gave her a pointed look, and she wilted.

David was tall, but nowhere near as tall as Rafael. David was also scrawny and bespectacled. Never lifted a weight in his life. Certainly never been punched in the face like he so richly deserved. Rafael could rip David’s arms off like Fezzik in The Princess Bride. Not a bad fantasy.

Honestly, I knew better than to date a tech bro. David had hidden his podcast listening habits long enough for me to fall for the ‘sensitive liberal boy’ ruse and used his autism diagnosis as a shield against all criticism. I’d sworn off straight men forever after that.

“Laney’s most obnoxious habit is leaving dishes in the sink,” Dee said.

“Laney?” Rafael’s brows rose.

I let out a whine. “No, I hate that nickname. Please don’t.”

“I thought it was Laney leaving her socks in the living room,” Annie countered. “They breed like rabbits, I swear.”

“I’m not that sloppy!” I was, but I didn’t want Rafael to know that. Not yet, anyway. “Not my fault I have ADHD too!”

“We all have ADHD. Get over it and handle your shit.” Deandra folded her arms and pursed her mouth.