Page 14 of Bruised Hearts

“It’s okay, Landon. You can leave.”

“I know I can, hell, I just did. The thing is, I don’t leave places I still want to be.” She had no snarky comeback and that wasn’t like her. Something was bothering her, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me right out. I was gone have to use finesse. “Can I ask you a question?” She finally looked up at me, and my heart ached for her. She looked broken.

“Yeah.” I reached up and was about to touch her, but thought better of it.

“Can I?” She nodded, so I proceeded and rubbed my finger over burn marks and scar tissue.

“What happened to your face?” Ariyah didn’t answer, but her body began to shake. I tried to start with something simple that would give me a glimpse into her past, but fucked around and found the key to it all. Grabbing her to me, I held her and allowed her to get it out. I didn’t ask another question because I didn’t need to. Ariyah was finally ready to let me in.

10- Ariyah “Nova” Stevens

Fidgeting my fingers, I tried to figure out where to start. I didn’t expect to break down like that, but Landon acting like he didn’t care anymore bothered me. Him walking out pushed me over the edge mentally. It solidified what I already thought about myself. I appreciated how Landon didn’t push me to start talking. He sat quietly while stroking my hair. To be honest, I really didn’t know where to begin. I’ve never had to explain why I was this way.

“I ummm… I did it to myself.” He looked confused, but it was the truth.

“On purpose?”

“No. My father died when I was six. I was his everything. He was the one that loved boxing. Everything about it. From the mats, to the spit buckets. He would light up when he walked in the gym. He would take me with him and teach me how to hit the bags. It was the only time in my life I ever felt loved.”

“Damn! So, what happened after your dad died?” It wasn’t judgment in his tone, it was confusion. I put my hand up to stop him. I just wanted to get it all out.

“Nobody was more devastated than me except my mother. I thought it was because she lost her soulmate, but it was because she had no idea how we were going to survive without him. Stone came into our lives and gave her new hope, but he also brought a daughter. Briana.”

“You have a sister?”

“If that’s what you want to call her. She’s never liked me from the moment she walked in the house. It didn’t bother me because that’s what you expect with step siblings. At least at first. However, I ended up figuring out it went beyond that. It started with little lies. Of course, they believed her. It escalated along the years and progressed in high school. Rumors started, her friends trying to bully me. Vandalizing the school and blaming me for it. So, I responded by fucking them up. I stayed suspended and the only thing my mother would say when I would tell her what was happening was ‘Don’t ruin this for us.’ She never took my side.” I paused because I needed a moment. This was the first time I had fully told my story.

“You can wait until you’re ready.” I gave a half smile in appreciation, but it was too late. I’ve already opened the box.

“I’m okay.” Taking another second, I continued. “Anyway, one day I came home and Briana had her friends in the backyard. I was about to go to my room when I saw them throwing my clothes in a bonfire. Of course, I was pissed. I ran outside and I held it all in until her friend threw my dad’s gloves in. Without thinking, I tried to get them out. It was all I had left of him. He loved his gloves, and now their ruined. Instead of falling out and tending to my pain, I blacked out and beat her friend damn near to death. I was about to be sent to juvie, but Stone used his connections and money. I was sent to Whittmore Academy, and stayed there until Stone got me out.” His face remained stoic, but I felt raw and exposed.

“You went through some things in your life. I get that, but you’re not there anymore. I want you to stop thinking you have to fight every second of your life and every person that you meet.”

“What the fuck! You think I like being like this?”

“No. I think you had to be.” I looked up shocked. That was the one thing nobody ever gave me. Understanding. “Ariyah, I can see why you became this way, but I also can see who you are underneath all the bravado. You never learned to put your hands down.”

“So, you think I just don’t know how to stop?”

“No, but I think you’ve succumbed to it. You don’t have to fight to show you’re not scared of losing. You can fight with purpose. Can I ask you a question?” I nodded, so he continued. “Are you trying to appease the old nigga? To make him finally accept you?”

“I’m not scared to be alone, Landon.”

“I know.”

“Then quit acting like I’m a scared lil bitch afraid to be by myself.”

“Ariyah, I didn’t say that. You’re taking it like I’m calling you weak. I’m saying you’re human.” I heard him, so I went back to his original point.

“I don’t know how to be anything else. I’m used to being alone, and I’ve learned to be okay with that.”

“I always say, you can be a movement by yourself or a force when we’re together.” I turned my face up at him quick.

“Nigga, you didn’t say that shit. That was Fabolous.” Landon reached up and wiped the rest of my tears away.

“Does it matter who really said it? The point is, it’s okay to let somebody else in. Let me in.” In that moment, my walls came completely down. Leaning over, I kissed him. Softly at first, but then I went in for the kill. Forgetting where we were, I pushed him on the mat and climbed on top of him.

“Okay, I let yall have your Dr. Phil moment, but now it’s time to get a room. Don’t nobody wanna see that shit.” I looked over at Jimmy and shame covered my face.