Page 62 of Lilies from Hell

“When do you plan to get a little more action?”

“I don’t know, but it’s better this way for now. I want to have time to think about our relationship or non-relationship. The whole situation confuses me, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be having sex when my head is a total mess.” I click my tongue when I see her amused expression and her big smile.

“I have the perfect solution for that.” I look at her curiously, settling myself more comfortably in bed.

“What is it?”

“You have to eliminate the sexual tension between you. That way, you’ll be able to see things much more clearly and know if it’s just sexual or if it goes beyond that.” I look at her in confusion, waiting for her to continue. “By having sex.”

“And then what? Let him have me as his sex slave for a few days and then goodbye?”

“What’s wrong with that?” she asks with a smile.

“You say that sleeping with him is the solution when it’s more likely to be my grave.”

I don’t even think I can separate my feelings from my sexual attraction to him. How could I have a relationship based solely on sex? It would mess everything up, and he would end up dumping me in the worst way. She bites her lower lip, thinking about something.

“And don’t you think that his commitment issues are just your own problem? Maybe he’s just inexperienced in romantic relationships.”

“No. Otherwise, he would have asked me to be his girlfriend again or formalized our relationship a long time ago. He would have made things clear to me,” I reply with a bitterness that I hide with a disinterested grimace.

Every time I brought it up on the phone, he would change the subject or say he had to go and end the call. It was as if he was hiding something or wanted to hide our relationship, not only from my parents but from the whole world.

“It sounds to me like you’re putting up barriers because you’re afraid to start something serious with him. Or to continue it.” I shake my head, forgetting the hole my earlier thoughts were forming in my chest.

“Maybe.” Grace gives me a sidelong glance with a smile.

“That’s not going to happen. Stop sabotaging yourself all the time, Len.” I let out a pitiful sigh as I feel her caressing my hair, just like he did that day before I fell asleep. “In the end, he’ll kidnap you and lock you up in his palace.” Her giggle is contagious, even though I don’t find what she said funny. Partly because I know it’s not far from the truth.

“Let’s go out and do something that will help us forget about men for a while,” she says with a smile, looking up from her phone screen.

“Don’t get lost,” Grace screams in my ear, grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward our private table. “What would you like to drink?” I take the 6oz Hip Flask out of my bag with an amused smile, making Grace burst out laughing. “I guess we’ll need something to mix it with. Unless you want to drink it straight,” she says, moving both eyebrows with a smile.

“Let’s go to the bar,” I suggest, getting up from the long sofa. Grace follows behind me.

We have to wait for a few people to be served. I take a quick look around the place as we wait, meeting his gaze. I didn’t expect to see him here. I didn’t even know he had returned to the city. He looks like he’s having a great time with his friends and those two girls, the usual blonde of always and a brunette. They seem to be discussing something next to him.

Should I greet him? Smile at him, perhaps, or is it better to pretend he’s not there? In the end I wave at him from afar with a friendly smile, but just then he looks away from the two girls to say something with an annoyed expression. They immediately stop arguing reluctantly. Just as I’m about to greet him again, someone else catches my attention in the distance.

“Hi there!” I turn around to find Liam grinning. I don’t know whether to feel relieved that he’s still alive or to run away to avoid his irritating presence.

“Hi,” Grace says in a dry tone.

“Where are you sitting? If you want, I can bring you drinks. No problem.” He winks at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Grace giving him an irritated look.

“Thanks, but that’s not necessary.”

“I insist, let me bring them. It’s crowded, you’re going to be here for a while.”

“Okay, just bring a couple of sodas and some glasses,” Grace replies, grabbing my arm and leading me back to the sofa.

“I still don’t like that French guy.”

“You don’t like anyone,” I scoff.

“I like you.”

“Oh. I’m honored,” I murmur with one hand on my chest.