Page 19 of Lilies from Hell

“Stop moving if you don’t want me to smash your face in,” he threatened after hitting me again, blurring my vision even more than it already was.

He took advantage of my disorientation to turn me around and pull down my underwear. The only thing that brought me back to reality was his penis forcing its way into my body, tearing my skin in two and ripping everything in its path. I couldn’t even scream because the sofa cushion pressed my head down, suffocating me.

The fabric of the cushion did not muffle the comments he whispered in my ear. The faster he thrust into me, the more I ignored the blood that was probably flowing from between my buttocks. I closed my eyes, feeling my body recede into the background, as if I had become a spectator in a horror movie rather than the protagonist experiencing everything.

He turned my body again and pulled out his still erect penis. Just when I thought he would finish on my bare chest, he dug his fingers into my cheek, forcing me to open my mouth so he could insert the head of his glans and masturbate. I had the urge to throw up with him inside me when a thick, bitter liquid went down my throat.

“That’s it. Swallow it all,” he said between moans and heavy breathing. Finally, I couldn’t avoid the nausea and threw up all over his jeans and part of his shirt. “What do you think you’re doing? Do I disgust you, huh? Is that it?” He pulled up his pants.

He fixed his eyes on mine and watched for the tears I refused to let fall, knowing that would upset him even more. He didn’t like it when, according to him, I acted tough.

“Ya nauchu tebya uvazhat,¹” he said to himself with a smile, grabbing the belt of his pants.

As much as I wanted to run away, my body wouldn’t respond. It was still numb from the pain and acidity in my stomach. I didn’t see the first blow coming as I covered my face in an instinctive attempt to protect myself. I clenched my teeth, swallowing the pain as best I could with each blow, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of enjoying my pain too.

I lost count of how many times the buckle made me bleed, with the blood running down my torso and staining the sofa. This was my favorite part. My body had already become accustomed to that pain, and I had turned it into something pleasurable.

I distracted myself by doing the exercises the teacher instructed until my attention fell on the children who took over the court a few meters away from ours. I looked at them again with a pout. Why were they sitting on the floor while we had to run around like dizzy ducks bouncing a stupid ball? I felt like throwing it at the teacher’s head.

I kept glancing around, hoping she would appear. Now they had put on music, and the children were dancing in pairs. I almost tripped when I saw her holding hands with another boy.

My head hurts and I felt an unpleasant twinge in my stomach. Minutes passed, and he didn’t move away from her. Even now he had one hand on her waist. That made me furious. He mustn’t touch her. I thought as I fixed my eyes on the boy’s head. If he didn’t move away willingly, then I would make him.

However, before I could throw the ball at his head, something hard bounced off my nose, leaving a sharp pain. I looked up to find myself face to face with a pale-faced boy who was opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

“You’ll be sorry, Wilson!” I shouted, glaring at him and feeling a thick liquid running down my nose before running to the bathroom with my hand covering the spot.

The blood wouldn’t stop flowing. I had to tilt my head back and put pieces of paper in the holes for a while.

“Hello. Can I come in?”

I stopped breathing normally when I recognized her voice on the other side of the door. I immediately threw away the paper and wiped away the remaining drops. When I opened the door, I wanted to change my image of being hit by a ball to a better one, praying that the bleeding had stopped.

“Hello.”

“I have something for your nose.”

“My nose is fine,” I said with a disinterested attitude, leaning against the door frame.

“I don’t think so. It’s bleeding.” She pointed to the blood with her finger. “Sit here. I’ll fix it up for you.”

I closed the door and followed her to the bench in the middle of the locker room. I was very curious to know how she intended to do it.

First, she put a band-aid on the tip of my nose, and then she brought her lips close to it with confidence. By the time I tried to pull away, she had already left a kiss that was barely a touch, leaving me with a swarm of bats in my stomach.

The pain in my nose was mostly gone. It didn’t seem swollen to me, let alone bleeding, though I had doubts about the latter.

“Better?” All my breath had been taken away. My muscles had gone numb, so all I could do was nod my head.

She smiled, revealing her teeth. One of her front teeth was crooked, but it was still the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. If I had seen her smile before, it would have been easier for me to survive him.

“I don’t think it worked,” she said, watching the red thread come out of my nose.

Seeing her intentions to bring her lips closer again, I wished it would never stop bleeding. I let out a sigh. That sensation in my stomach growing stronger than before. Then I noticed the small drop of my blood that had remained on her lower lip.

“Now it worked.” She smiled, licking the small drop without realizing it. I waited for her to make a disgusted face, but her expression didn’t change. “It always works. My nanny does that when I have a wound,” she explained later, and I looked at her in confusion.

“Your nanny gives you kisses?”