Page 88 of Trusting a Warrior

He’d already stripped the bed and remade it with crisp, perfect corners. Their scattered clothes had been picked up and stuffed in the hamper, the bathroom sink wiped down, wet towels hung neatly back up.

Lani clasped her hands to her chest and spun around in a circle before sinking to sit on the edge of the bed. “You’re a keeper for sure,” she said aloud to the empty room. “Husband material, boyfriend material...”

A pang shot though her. He might be a keeper, all right, but she couldn’t keep him. So what if he was a dishes whiz, a good listener and a generous and considerate lover? So what if she’d woken in the night to find him splaying his palm low on her belly, as if hoping to feel the baby move?

The pang morphed into an ache so sharp that tears sprang to her eyes. No, she couldn’t keep him. Not as long as he was a SEAL.

How many of her friends over the years had given birth alone, their husbands gone—out of touch, out of reach? How many of them had had to deal with missed birthdays, forgotten anniversaries, serious injuries, illnesses?

So many things left for them to handle alone, married as they were to men who were gone far more than they were ever home.

Lani squeezed her eyes shut.

An afternoon on Tabitha’s porch while the kids were all in school. The laughter flowing along with the wine, excited plans bandied about for the guys’ homecoming in only two weeks. Suzette had a pregnancy to announce to a husband she hadn’t seen in almost six months.

“Harry’s gonna shit when he sees me,” she said, cackling. “We’ve only been trying for two goddamn years, and then with one last goodbye fuck, boom...knocked up! I can’t wait to surprise him!”

Hoots and jokes from the women about all the homecoming babies about to be conceived, and then Suzette pushed to her feet. “Y’all, I bought the cutest maternity lingerie the other day. Lemme show you!”

Caressing her baby bump, she hurried to her house across the street.

A little envious of her happiness, visions of her own childless future with Rhys swirling before her, Lani hadn’t even noticed the government car that’d turned the corner until someone gasped.

Frozen in horror, they watched it creep along before pulling over to the curb and stopping—in front of Suzette’s house.

Anguished shouts of “No!” interspersed with the tinkle of wineglasses crashing to the ground...

For the rest of her life, Lani would never forget the sight of Tabitha’s long blond hair streaming out behind her as she ran barefoot across the street, desperate to get to her friend before the Navy chaplain did. Before Suzette’s world crashed down around her ears. Before she learned that Harry would never meet his long-awaited son...

“I can’t do it,” she gasped, the painful memories splintering her heart into pieces all over again. “I can’t live my life like that. I can’t.”

She’d had enough of goodbyes.

Geo killed the engine and gazed up at the small house.

“In a lot of ways, the second year is harder than the first. She’ll need friends now more than ever.”

Lani’s words echoing in his ears, he pulled off his helmet and tucked it under his arm. Then, his heart thundering, the lasagna he’d eaten a lump in his stomach, Geo made his way slowly up the walk toward Renae’s front door.

At the sight of the chairs on the porch, his eyes burned. How many beers had he shared here with Cade over the years, their feet propped on the railing as they talked about work, love and life?

He’d been the only one in the command who knew the truth about Jake.

“I’m here for you one hundred percent, brother, whatever you decide to do.”

In the end, of course, he’d chosen his career over his relationship, and after Jake had moved out, Cade’s unwavering support was what got him through those first emotional weeks.

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he whispered to the empty porch. “Best swim buddy ever.”

Before he could change his mind, Geo put his helmet down on a chair and then knocked softly. If Renae didn’t answer in thirty seconds, he would—

The door swung open almost immediately. “Hey, Geo.” Renae smiled up at him, her face thinner than he remembered, the sharpness of her cheekbones highlighting the deep ocean blue of her eyes. “I heard you pull up.”

And then waited to see if he had the guts to go through with it.

Shame twisting him into knots, Geo stammered for a reply, then choked off when Renae simply opened her arms and gathered him close. He clutched onto her, her presence a sudden, tangible connection to Cade—one he hadn’t known he so desperately needed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.