Page 81 of Trusting a Warrior

“But—but what do I—”

“Just show up, maybe take care of something she hasn’t had the time or ability to. Trim the hedges, clean out the gutters, take a load of stuff to the dump.” Lani patted his chest. “You don’t have to say anything profound, or think you’re going to ‘fix’ what she’s going through, because you can’t. Just be there, Geo. Just show up. It’s not too late.”

Shaking his head, he mumbled, “You make it sound so simple...”

“Sometimes the simplest things mean the most.” She paused. “You’re worried that she’s angry at you for not going to the funeral.”

When he nodded, she said, “To be honest, she probably didn’t even notice, as focused as she was on getting herself and her kids through it. But if you really want to show up and make a difference, now is a great time. It’s not too late, I promise you.”

Geo’s arms tightened around her as he mulled that over. “Is this the kind of stuff you talk about in your group?”

Lani’s tummy flipped over, but she managed to keep her voice even. “Sometimes, sure. We talk about anything and everything. Guilt, fault, anger, all of it.”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Whatever you’re feeling,” she said quietly, “I guarantee someone in that group has felt that way, too. It’s a safe space. A welcoming space. And it’s freed me in a way I never thought possible.”

He didn’t reply, so—the seed having been planted—she grabbed up a Twizzler and took a huge bite. “God, I haven’t had one of these in forever.” Then she grimaced. “Bleah. Now I remember why.”

“Says the girl who likes Milk Duds.”

“What?” Lani glared at him in pretend outrage. “What’s wrong with Milk Duds?”

“Oh, I don’t know. They rip your fillings out?”

She opened her mouth to counter, then snapped it shut.

“Uh-huh,” Geo said. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Hmph. It was a loose tooth, okay? Not a filling.” She narrowed her eyes. “What’s your favorite candy?”

He shrugged. “All of them. Well, except for Milk Duds. Obviously.”

“Good. More for me.” After elbowing him lightly in the ribs, she leaned forward to pick up her water from the coffee table. As she did, she lifted her hair away from her neck, sighing in relief at the cool air on her sweaty skin.

God, I don’t know how you do this day in and day out, Maura. You’re a fucking rock star.

“Hey, what’s this?” Geo asked. “You have a tattoo here?” Gentle fingertips brushed over her nape. “What is it? I mean, I can see it’s a cardinal, but...”

His calloused thumb traced the small tattoo, over and over. The slight rasp tightened her nipples, made her shiver. Goose bumps springing up everywhere, Lani swallowed her gulp of water. “I got it, what,” she said huskily, “maybe three years ago now?”

Suddenly restless, needing to move, she pushed to her feet and headed for the kitchen. After a moment, Geo followed, propping his hips against the counter as she started to put away the neglected groceries. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” His voice was hushed. “I’m sorry.”

She snapped her head around to look at him. “Oh, Geo, don’t be sorry. It’s not a bad memory, at all. It’s just—”

“An ambush moment?”

Her chest tightened. “It used to be.” Putting down the box of pasta she was holding, Lani crossed to him and mirrored his pose. “Tyler was a huge St. Louis Cardinals fan. Like, huge. During baseball season it was all he could talk about. For a long time after his death, I couldn’t handle seeing or hearing anything about them, which sucked, because I loved them, too.”

She tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling.

“One night, some dude came into the bar. Kind of like you, he was toasting a friend who’d passed away, and I remember asking him about this really elaborate tattoo on his forearm. It was a Stormtrooper helmet, and he said he’d gotten it because his friend loved Star Wars. So that got me thinking.”

“A cardinal for Tyler.”

“Yes. Because he loved the Cardinals, and because whenever I picture him now, it’s always as a bird flying free, at peace.” She shrugged. “It seemed fitting.”

“But why here?” Geo touched the nape of his own neck. “You can’t even see it. Why...?”