Page 14 of Everything Changes

Carey’s eyes widened, then relaxed when he saw Jase’s teasing expression.

“Come on, man.” Jase said earnestly. “Don’t make more of it than it is. I won’t lie to you; I enjoyed the hell out of it. You’re an attractive man. No, you’re an attractive person. You know I don’t differentiate or label who I’m attracted to. I don’t put people in boxes and say, ‘I shouldn’t be attracted to so-and-so because of what kinds of parts they have between their legs.’ It doesn’t work like that for me.”

Carey looked back down at his coffee cup miserably. “I don’t know what to say to you, Jase. I feel really fucked in the head.”

“Carey, cut yourself some slack, man. You’ve been through hell and back. You’ve experienced a trauma that changed your life forever. It would be weird if you weren’t a little fucked in the head. You needed what you needed, Carey. I was here. You said you feel safe with me. You are safe with me.” Carey didn’t say anything, and after a minute, Jase continued in a gentle voice, “What happened last night doesn’t need to define us, Carey. I hope we don’t let five minutes in time change our friendship. Since we can’t undo what happened, I hope that you can look at and accept it in the spirit for which it was intended…. I was a friend just trying to relax and comfort you, Carey.”

“I started it, Jase. I know that,” Carey admitted. “I don’t put anything on you, man. I just feel… so fucking weird about it.”

Jase smiled sadly at him, and Carey knew he didn’t have anything more to say. He’d said everything he could to salvage the situation, and it was up to Carey to decide whether to let, as Jase said, five minutes in time totally obliterate all the history that had come before it and destroy a friendship Carey could accept he needed like he needed air, or he could choose to put it behind them and move on. It was up to him.

He took a deep breath and let a smile play across his lips. “Well, it did help, because I did sleep pretty well after all. After I lay awake for a while worrying about it being all fucking weird and tense between us this morning.”

Jase smiled back, the relief written plainly across his face. “We won’t let it, Carey. I won’t let it. And there’s no reason for us to talk about this again unless you want to.”

Carey shook his head and huffed a laugh. “Yeah. No, I think I’m good.”

Jase searched Carey’s expression intently. “Are we? Are we good, Carey? Because if you’re uncomfortable and you need me to leave, I’ll hire a home health aide for you and I will leave today. Your emotional well-being is just as important to me as your physical health, and I won’t endanger that.”

“Fuck no, Jase. I don’t want you to leave. I want you here. I… need you here. Just… let’s not do that again, okay?”

“Okay,” Jase said easily. “You’re pretty damn irresistible, but I’ll give it my best shot.” He winked at Carey to let him know he was teasing, then stood up and took his cup and plate to the sink, washing them out and putting them in the dish-drying rack.

“Gonna go out back on the porch and do a little yoga. It’s gorgeous out. You want to go to the couch, back to bed, shower? I’ll get you settled first.”

“Couch is good,” Carey said. “I’ll read my new book for a little while, then if you want, you can help me with my home exercises.” It was Carey’s way of saying he wasn’t permanently weirded out by what had happened, that he wasn’t going to cringe away from Jase’s hands on him.

Jase’s smile warmed Carey’s heart, and he knew he understood what he was trying to say. As he passed by Carey’s chair, he leaned down and pressed a light kiss to the top of his head, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Sure thing, bud. Sure thing.”

CAREY PULLED himself out of his memories, blowing out a huge breath. He thought about how Jase had looked that very afternoon playing volleyball, muscles gleaming with perspiration, the way his body had smelled, clean male sweat, intoxicating, as he’d helped Carey to the water. Then the water streaming in rivulets over those incredible muscles as he’d emerged from the surf. Carey couldn’t fool himself anymore that the desire that wracked him was because he was in a bad place and his friend was conveniently there and willing.

Gratitude, warmth, caring, happiness, and friendship. When Carey thought of Jase, he felt all of those things all the time, and now physical desire and want were once again layered over the top, confusing the hell out of him.

Carey realized his cock was hard and throbbing from his walk down memory lane, and he reached down and pushed his underwear off before spreading his legs wide. He spit into his palm, and he jacked himself hard with long strokes from base to head, his free hand rolling and squeezing his balls. He let images of Jase, memories, flood his mind as he tugged at himself harder and faster, shoving the heel of one hand into his mouth as he came hard, muffling his cry of Jase’s name.

CHAPTER 5

CAREY CLAPPED along with the stomping, whistling crowd that was calling for an encore. Layla put her fingers in her mouth and emitted a piercing whistle, causing several people near them to flinch.

“Whooo!” she hooted as the band members ran back on stage. Carey grinned at her enthusiasm, glancing up at Jase as he stood behind the microphone. He looked incredible, flushed and happy, totally in his element.

Quinn launched into a drum riff, setting up the song, Jase holding on to the microphone and bobbing his head to the pounding beat. It revved the crowd up more until most were on their feet, and when the guitar notes from the opening bars of one of Eloquent Isolation’s best-known original songs rang out, the cacophony became almost deafening.

Carey was thrilled for Jase and for the rest of their friends. The band’s stage presence was magnetic, and the crowd picked up on it. Jase scanned the faces in the crowd, making eye contact with several, winking at Carey as his gaze passed him. Carey felt a jolt go through him at that almost flirtatious look, realizing that it caused his insides to feel a little quivery. Carey shook his head. It was just a wink. Get a grip, stupid.

Suddenly his focus sharpened as he caught another glimpse of Jase. He had frozen, his face white, as his gaze fixed on something or someone in the crowd. Carey whirled around to follow his line of sight, and his breath hitched as he caught sight of a petite, curvaceous woman with a mass of curly brown hair, her white halter top showing off her flawless tawny skin. Mariangel, Jase’s ex-wife. As far as Carey knew, Jase hadn’t spoken to her since their divorce was final. What would she be doing here? Just a coincidence? He searched her face, seeing no animosity in it, just a wistful smile as she looked back at Jase.

Jase recovered almost instantly from his shock, and his gravelly voice filled the room as he sang, the throbbing beat accompanying him. Layla, oblivious to any undercurrents, had her arms raised over her head as she swayed and sang along.

When Jase had called him out of the blue one day a few years ago to say he had gotten married, Carey had been absolutely stunned. He knew Jase had been seeing someone for a while, but had no idea it had been heading toward marriage.

Jase had been apologetic for not saying anything to him before, said it had been a rather sudden decision, but he was happy and he hoped Carey would be happy for him too.

“Of course I’m happy for you, man,” Carey had said cautiously. “Give Mari my best, okay?”

After that Jase had seemed to drop off the face of the earth, not returning phone calls much, his texts short and distracted. Carey chalked it up to newlywed growing pains; friends had to take a backseat to the new spouse. He hadn’t worried about it much, figuring things would right themselves eventually.

Then one day not even ten months after the phone call saying he was getting married, Jase had called him and said he and Mari were separating, and could Carey please come out to California and help him move out of the house they shared and into a new apartment? He said there really wasn’t much he wanted to take with him from the marriage. He was happy to let Mari have it all, and if Carey couldn’t get away, he could probably manage the few meager possessions he did want to take.