Page 97 of Loving a Warrior

Matt wrapped his legs around Shane’s waist, arms around his neck. His heart was threatening to beat its way out of his chest, a quivery sort of elation sending his blood racing hotly through his veins. “And…what?”

“And you don’t have anything else to say to me?”

“Um, ‘I hate you’?” Matt suggested, doing his best to bite back a smile when Shane growled low in his throat. “Or how about, ‘You got me wet and sandy so you suck’?”

“Don’t lie, you love being wet and sandy.” Shane brushed his lips over each of Matt’s eyelids, then the tip of his nose. “Don’t you?”

“I really don’t.”

Shane opened his mouth to say something else, but before he could, Matt interrupted, “How the fuck we gonna do this, Shane? We can’t be together and serve on the same team. It’ll be the distraction of BUD/S all over again, only with other people’s lives on the line.”

“Hmm.” Bending his head to trail his lips along the curve of Matt’s jaw, Shane murmured, “Not if we’re in different task units. Sister platoons. It’ll be a challenge but I know we can do it.”

Matt closed his eyes as Shane nuzzled his neck, turning over the possibilities feverishly in his mind. Most people thought SEAL teams were small, when in actuality there were over a hundred men on each numbered team, including the officers and support personnel. With sixteen men to a platoon, two platoons to a task unit, and three task units per team, he and Shane wouldn’t exactly be living in each other’s pockets, but at least they’d be on the same coast…

He pushed hard on Shane until he lifted himself off him, then Matt sat up and linked his arms around his knees, ignoring the cold water and itchy sand coating him from head to toe.

Shane sat up, too, and mirrored Matt’s pose, their shoulders touching. “Talk to me, Soup,” he ordered softly. “What’re you thinking?”

Matt could only shake his head, dropping his forehead onto his folded arms and letting out a groan. “You’ve fucked everything up; you know that?”

“I know.”

“I had it all planned out,” Matt went on fiercely. “My whole life has been dedicated to what I’m about to achieve, and after everything I’ve been through, that dream is finally in reach.” He sucked in a deep breath, his voice rising. “Then some gorgeous, ridiculous asshole has to crash into me on the beach and fuck everything up!”

“I know. My whole existence is just so inconvenient.”

“It is,” Matt railed at him, pounding his fist in the sand. “And now instead of focusing on this amazing career ahead of me, all I’m thinking about is how am I gonna have my fucking cake and eat it, too.” He glared at Shane, who looked back at him solemnly.

“Well, you can eat my cake anytime you want to. That’s not a problem.”

Matt snorted, then barked out a laugh, which morphed into a coughing fit. Shane slid his arm around his shoulders and leaned his cheek against the top of his head. “Breathe,” he whispered. “It’s gonna be all right.”

Matt turned to bury his face against Shane’s shoulder. “Why are you so perfect for me?” he said raggedly. “Why?” He clutched on to him, twisting his fists into Shane’s damp shirt. “Because you are. Perfect.”

With a soft exclamation, Shane gathered him close, his body trembling with the same shivers going through Matt that had nothing to do with the cold.

“You wanna know the moment I fell in love with you?” Matt went on in a hoarse whisper. “Because believe it or not, I know the exact fucking moment.”

Shane choked out an assent, arms tightening.

“It was when I walked into that hotel room, pissed off at the world and I really didn’t know why. I was a raging dick to you, and instead of telling me to go fuck myself, you suggested we go work out.”

“Speaking your language,” Shane murmured into his hair.

“Yeah.” Matt blew out a breath and sat up straight, looking into Shane’s eyes. “And I suggested rock climbing, knowing that’d scare the shit out of you, but you did it. For me. You just…get me, Shane. I don’t know how, but you get me.” He reached out to cup his cheek. “How can I give that up?”

Shane leaned in close, his lips soft, and oh so gentle on Matt’s. “We’ll figure it out. Because I don’t want to lose you.”

Wrapping his arms around Shane’s neck, Matt lay back in the sand, pulling him down with him. The kiss was hot and fierce, full of salt and grit, the taste of the ocean.

At last Shane pulled away slightly, his words little puffs of air against Matt’s cheek. “I need you. I need your bluntness, and honesty. With you there’re no games, no lies, no bullshit. You’re perfect for me, Matt.”

In answer Matt lifted his head to brush his mouth over the vivid bruise on Shane’s cheek. “So you’re going to stay in, then?”

“Yeah, I am.” Shane propped himself up on his elbow, his other arm draped over Matt’s waist. “What I felt tonight, the loyalty, the brotherhood…” He closed his eyes briefly. “I want that, Soup. I want that for both of us. You and I will make it work.”

They fell silent, the sound of the crashing waves a soothing backdrop. Finally Shane splayed his palm over Matt’s belly and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Whatcha thinkin’ about? Those gears are just grinding away again.”