Page 90 of See My Words

“What I’m listening to is him making the grand gesture of ‘setting me free,’ hoping I come back to him. What a stupid cliché!”

Chris chuckled, a smile quirking his lips even in the face of Rylan’s outraged glare. “A cliché becomes a cliché for a reason. There can be a lot of truth to them.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Rylan snapped, and Chris put his hands on Rylan’s knees, squeezing in gentle reproof.

“I’m not. And I didn’t see it as some sort of ‘grand gesture,’ Ry. I saw it as a man trying to do something very unselfish, something he thinks is in your best interests. If it were me, I’d honor that.”

“But what if I don’t want to be set free? What if I think it’s in our best interests to stay and work through it? I should have a choice in all this!”

“Deciding you’re going to respect someone’s request for a little space is a choice, too, Rylan.” Chris’s gaze was steady on his. “I thought he was pretty clear about what he wants.”

“He’s hurting and upset. He doesn’t know what he wants.” Heaving a sigh, Rylan leaned forward and rested his forehead on Chris’s shoulder, feeling his arms come around him in a tight, comforting hug. “God, I’m so tired,” he mumbled. “So fucking tired.”

Chris kissed his cheek before helping him to his feet. He kept his arm around Rylan’s waist as Rylan stumbled to the bedroom and then waited while he stripped his clothes off and crawled into bed wearing only his underwear. Chris pulled the covers up and tucked Rylan in like a child, whispering, “I’ll come check on you every hour or so. Get some sleep, hon.”

He tiptoed out.

Despite his utter exhaustion, Rylan lay wide awake, tossing and turning. He sat up and glared at the phone sitting innocently on the nightstand, itching to grab it, call Scott, and demand to know exactly how it had come to this. Every relationship experienced growing pains, and that’s all this was. Standing and fighting was the key. Not running, not again. Fuck that! Rylan snatched up the phone, intending to send Scott a text insisting they meet ASAP and talk this shit out.

Time and space. He’s asking for time and space. Chris’s gentle voice echoed in Rylan’s head, but he ignored it, stabbing his finger on his texting icon and scrolling down to Scott’s name. He opened a new message, one of the old ones suddenly catching his eye.

If we’re done, say we’re done. Don’t blow me off like this.

Rylan winced, remembering his annoyance at Scott’s assumptions, at the way Scott hadn’t let him have even a few hours to wallow in disappointment before seeking reassurance and attention.

Give me some space, Scott!

Rylan read back through the messages again, seeing them now in the light of everything that had happened. Scott’s anxiety came through so clearly, how he’d convinced himself he was being rejected. The shit with Garrett hadn’t helped either. To Rylan, the whole thing was nothing more than a kid needing time to process the way things were changing in his life, yet Scott, true to form, immediately perceived his lack of response as rejection.

Give Garrett some space, Scott!

How easy it was to demand…how hard it was to truly give.

Rylan swung his legs over the side of the bed. Shit. He stared down at his phone for a moment before closing the text field and putting it carefully down on the nightstand. Grabbing some sweatpants, he pulled them on and made his way to the kitchen for some coffee.

As he passed the living room, he heard Chris’s low voice saying, “I should probably stay with him at least till early afternoon.” A pause, then, “Mmm, sweetheart, that sounds amazing. You keeping my side of the bed warm for me?” Chris gave a husky chuckle. “I love you, too. See you soon as I can.”

He tossed his phone to the couch, a dreamy smile on his face. He caught sight of Rylan in the hallway and leapt to his feet.

“Ry, are you all right?”

Rylan quirked his lips in a tremulous smile. “Yeah. Just can’t sleep. I—” He hesitated, taking a deep breath. “I want to go with you when you leave.”

Chris sucked in a breath, taking Rylan’s arm and guiding him to sit down. He searched his face. “Are you sure?”

“No.” Rylan leaned back and closed his eyes. “I—I just—”

“Hey,” Chris interrupted gently. “Let me get you some coffee, and then we’ll talk.”

Rylan sank gratefully back into the lumpy, scratchy cushions of his cheap couch, listening to the welcome sound of fresh coffee burbling, the clink of spoon on mug. He took the steaming cup Chris offered him with a whisper of thanks.

Chris settled next to him, and they sipped in silence until Rylan sighed. “Every instinct I possess is screaming at me to call Scott right now and force him to talk to me.” He told Chris about that terrible night when Scott had left with Tanner. “My first thought was this is exactly the same thing—running away—but it’s not, is it?”

Before Chris could say anything, Rylan went on. “I know it’s not. He didn’t run. He actually came and talked to me, told me to my face exactly what it is he needs right now. I don’t agree with it, but—”

“Just because you don’t agree with it doesn’t mean it’s wrong,” Chris said quietly.

Rylan gave a miserable nod. “Exactly. I’ve been approaching this relationship as if it’s one long episode of Rylan Knows Best.”