Page 81 of See My Words

The elevator was swift and silent, and a few moments later, Rylan knocked softly on the condo door. It swung open to reveal Scott, looking tired and grim. They stared at each other, Rylan’s heart aching when he saw the hated white line around Scott’s lips.

Stepping inside and dropping his backpack to the floor, Rylan reached up to cup Scott’s cheek with gentle fingers. “I’m sorry.”

Scott closed his eyes briefly before wrapping his arms around Rylan’s waist to pull him close. They swayed together for long minutes, until Scott took his hand and led him to the living room, where they sank down onto the soft leather couch. The silence was deafening.

“I guess one thing you should know about me,” Rylan said at last, “is that I don’t handle my own personal disappointment well. When I want things to be a certain way, and they’re not, sometimes I can’t cope.”

Scott didn’t reply, just stared down at their clasped hands, his lips pursed.

“You had no idea what was going on. If I’d taken ten fucking seconds to explain things, instead of expecting you to read my mind, we could have avoided this. It’s my fault.”

Scott shook his head at that. “No way. You should be able to deal with your shit the way you need to, Rylan, without always worrying about my feelings first.”

Rylan rubbed his thumb over Scott’s wrist. “Of course I should worry about your feelings. It was thoughtless of me, and selfish, to ignore you just so I could wallow in self-pity. A real dick move.”

“When you wouldn’t answer my texts,” Scott admitted, “I couldn’t help but think maybe you were disgusted by the thought of me being like those people in the park. It’s not rational, yeah, but if you leave me to guess what’s going on, I will always—always—guess the worst.”

Rylan let go of him and knelt at his feet, putting his hands on Scott’s knees. “I know. That’s what I’m beating myself up for the most. I know that. And yet I still put you through it. God, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Scott reached out and stroked Rylan’s cheek. “And I’m sorry for making this all about me. The last thing I want to be is another emotional burden on you. Like your mom, or even your dad.” He sighed. “You shouldn’t have to be the strong one all the time.”

Rylan turned his face to nuzzle Scott’s palm. “You are stronger than I’ll ever be,” he whispered fiercely. “Even if you don’t believe it, you are. But let me say this. No matter what the future holds, I will never break up with you by ignoring you until you go away. That’s not my style.”

Scott leaned forward to give Rylan a gentle kiss. “Baby, if there’s one thing I should know about you, it’s that.” He sat back, his lips quirking in a rueful smile. “I’m not sure when I turned into such a needy little bitch. It really pisses me off.”

Pushing to his feet, Rylan gave a squeak of surprise when Scott grabbed his hand and yanked him into his lap. He draped his arms around Scott’s neck, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re not needy. This is what working on a relationship looks like, that’s all, learning to mesh our insecurities and hang-ups together into something that works for both of us.”

Scott snorted under his breath. “You insecure? That’s bullshit, Rylan. Name one thing you’re insecure about when it comes to us.”

Rylan felt his face flush, and he couldn’t hold Scott’s gaze. “Nah, it sounds stupid,” he muttered. “So fucking high school.”

Scott tilted his chin up with gentle fingers. “No, tell me. Please.”

Rylan shrugged, doing his best to sound offhand as he said, “Oh, well, it’s just sometimes—sometimes I worry about not being enough for you. I’m not gorgeous, athletic, or exciting, and you’re surrounded by those types of people every day. It’s—”

Scott gave a muffled exclamation and took Rylan by the shoulders, giving him a rough shake. “Oh my God. Are you kidding me with that?”

“I told you it was stupid,” Rylan mumbled. “You’re just so—so—you. And I’m nothing special.”

Scott cupped the back of Rylan’s head and kissed him. “Not special? Ry, I need you more than you’ll ever know. You fill those empty spaces inside me I thought could never be filled. I—”

Suddenly Scott gave a loud groan, dropping his head to rest against the back of the couch. “Jesus Christ, did I really just say, ‘You complete me’? I’m sorry, Mahoney, you gotta go. That’s too much.”

Rylan couldn’t help but burst into laughter at that, relieved as the last bit of tension between them completely dissipated, and Scott grinned, his green eyes warm.

“Don’t tell anyone, okay? My image will never recover.”

Threading his fingers through Scott’s hair, Rylan brushed their lips together. “Well, then, I guess you should take me to bed or lose me forever.”

Scott’s mouth dropped open. “Are you quoting Top Gun at me?”

“Yep. You big stud.”

Rylan leapt off Scott’s lap and ran, yelping with delight when Scott exploded from the couch and chased him. He took cover behind the kitchen island, feinting left and right before making a break for it and gasping as Scott hooked him around the waist with a growl of triumph.

They grappled for a moment, and before he knew it, he was flat on his back in Scott’s bed, naked. Rylan half expected to be ravished, but instead, Scott cradled him close, his kisses slow and gentle, his hands almost worshipful. He lingered at Rylan’s nipples and then dragged his parted lips down his belly, finally taking him inside his hot, wet mouth.

After Rylan climaxed with a soft cry, Scott kissed his way back up his body and nestled against him, pulling the sheet over them both. He was hard against Rylan’s thigh, but Scott ignored it, brushing Rylan’s hands away, murmuring, “All I want to do is hold you, Ry.”