Page 40 of See My Words

“Shoes?” Rylan’s heart started to pound. “Bright-blue Nikes?”

Minh looked up at him curiously. “Yeah, I think that’s what they were. He was beside himself at almost losing them, said they reminded him of the happiest time in his life.”

Rylan tightened his grip on Minh’s hand until he squeaked. “My father gave him those shoes, Minh. They were a welcome-to-the-family gift.”

“Well, there you go. No wonder he was so upset. I don’t think I ever saw him take them off after that.”

Rylan thought of the battered old shoes on Scott’s bookshelf in his room and felt his lips tremble. Minh gave him a minute to collect himself, his eyes soft with understanding. Then he continued his story. “Scott and me stayed at the shelter for three more days, and when he left, I went with him.”

“Back to the streets?”

“Yeah. We fell into a sort of partnership, you know? When I was with a trick, he watched out for me, made sure no one robbed me or beat me up. Pretty soon a few other kids, gay kids, trans kids, started hanging out with us too. We formed this—I don’t know what to call it—a support group?” He gave a mirthless chuckle. “We all shared what we had, and Scott used his advantages to help us.”

“What advantages?”

“He’s white,” Minh said flatly. “So people didn’t flinch and lock their doors when they saw him coming, or automatically run him off. If he panhandled, he usually made money instead of people screaming at him to stop being lazy, get a real job. Like the rest of us, he didn’t have a birth certificate or any sort of ID, but he sometimes got offered day labor, cash under the table by people who didn’t want Mexicans or blacks anywhere near their property.” His face twisted into a sneer.

“Jesus.”

“He talked different restaurant owners into giving us their leftover food instead of throwing it away,” Minh continued. “One lady let us use the spigot behind her building to wash up and cool off, as long as we didn’t piss in the alley or bring tricks back there.”

“Sounds like you all did the best you could.”

“A couple of our group hated what he represented, ’cause they didn’t want no white savior. But the reality? He is white and passes as straight to boot. His privilege made some things easier, and livin’ on the street at the mercy of bigots and assholes, he was a good dude to have around, like it or not.”

He lapsed into silence after that, and Rylan pulled him close, kissing his temple. “Thanks for telling me all this, Minh. I want so badly to understand him.” He glanced up just in time to see Scott watching them in the rearview mirror.

Rylan gave him a tremulous smile, and soon Rylan could feel the car slowing as Scott took the next exit toward a rest stop, pulling into a slot in front of the squat brick building that held the restrooms.

He and Minh climbed out of the back, stretching, and Minh headed in the direction of the men’s room, lighting up a cigarette as he went. Scott stuffed his hands in his front pockets and wandered off down a wooded trail leading toward some picnic tables set a little ways back from the parking lot. After a moment’s hesitation, Rylan followed, catching up to him easily and slipping his hand into the crook of Scott’s elbow.

“You two looked pretty cozy back there,” Scott remarked, his voice studiedly casual, though Rylan could feel the tension in the arm he held, could see the whiteness around his lips.

Rylan shrugged. “Just talking.”

“About what? Ancient history?”

“Yeah. Some dusty old ghosts.”

“They coming back to haunt me?”

Rylan rubbed his cheek against Scott’s shoulder before murmuring, “Nah. Dead and buried.”

They reached the picnic tables, and Rylan perched on the end of one, delighted when Scott, instead of sitting next to him, moved closer, insinuating himself between Rylan’s legs. Rylan hummed in pleasure, sliding his hands onto Scott’s hips. Scott pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head, scanning Rylan’s face with wary green eyes as if searching for traces of judgment, pity, disgust.

“It is what it is, Rylan,” he said at last.

Rylan smiled. “I know. You did what you had to do, and all I’ll say about it is I’m so glad you and Minh had each other.”

Scott visibly relaxed, a little smile of his own curving his lips. Rylan threaded his fingers through his belt loops and tugged him a little closer. “So you gonna tell me where we’re going?” he cajoled, smoothing his palms up Scott’s chest, pursing his lips in disappointment when Scott shook his head.

“You’ll find out soon enough, and you can give me that sexy fucking pout all you want, but I’m not telling you now.”

Rylan heaved a languid sigh, linking his arms around Scott’s neck and lifting his face invitingly. “Well, if my sexy pout won’t work, how about a kiss?” He bit his lower lip and then ran his tongue over it, making it glisten.

Scott’s low groan sounded tortured. “Fuck, are you trying to kill me?” He rested his thumb at the corner of Rylan’s mouth. “I can’t get enough of you.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”